Chapter 21
Kalani Joseph
New Beginnings
“We going to sleep in here together?” my son asked me, turning his head around, looking at me with confused eyes. His question made me laugh, as I walked up on him, standing behind him, and putting him in a bear hug.
“No boy. This is your room. My room is going to be down the hall,” I explained, and when I said that, he immediately removed my hands from being wrapped around him, and he turned to look at me for a few seconds.
At first, there was a serious look in his eyes. One that was staring me up and down, trying to search for any signs of me lying to him. When he started to trust the revelation that I’d given to him, his big hazel eyes watered up, and tears fell.
My son was ten, and he was at that age where he wanted to be hard all day, and he felt like boys weren’t supposed to cry.
With that, he turned his head, so that I wouldn’t see him crying.
He dropped his head, put his hands over his face, and he released tears.
His tears brought tears to my eyes as well.
We’ve been through so much in the last six months.
Our world had already gone upside down months ago when I lost my job, and then we had to move in with Toby.
Living with Toby wasn’t the worst, but it wasn’t the best either.
I was putting my life in danger by being with him.
My son’s life in danger too. When Toby was murdered, I had no choice but to move in with my homegirl, Toya. I hated that living situation.
Toya never did anything to make me feel uncomfortable, but it was one of those things where I felt like we were overstaying our welcome, and that there were too many of us in her house.
My son was always getting into it with her boys, and it had gotten to the point that Bash was even getting into fights with her sons.
It wasn’t what I wanted to do, but I had to get us out of there, so for a while, Bash and I had gone into a shelter.
We stayed in a shelter for about two months, and after that, I was able to get us into a room that I was renting at a house.
The rent wasn’t that expensive, so for months, I stacked up enough money from both jobs that I was working, and I finally had enough to put down for a first, last, and security deposit.
I’d got a nice townhouse for my son and I, and it was way more than enough space for the two of us.
“Awww. Why you crying?” I asked, holding onto him from behind, as he broke down, having his moment.
His tears made me emotional as hell because it’s almost like my son could breathe again. He went through so much with me, and I was glad that I was able to give him that roof over his head that I’d promised him.
“I’m just happy ma,” he let me know, after he calmed down.
Once he got himself together, he turned his body around, so that I could kiss him on his cheeks, and forehead.
I eventually let him go, and he walked around his new bedroom, checking out the empty space.
He walked into the closet, pulling the doors back, and he even went into his own, personal bathroom that was attached to the bedroom.
He couldn’t stop smiling or thanking me.
I had to let him know that he didn’t have to thank me because as his mother, this is what I was supposed to be doing.
He took a seat down on the carpeted floor, extending out his legs. I went over to him, sitting down as well, and I extended my legs too.
“Football season about to start back up. We gotta get you back out there,” I let him know, and his eyes lit up. We had to take last season off because I just wasn’t in a good position financially to foot a sports bill at the time.
I am in a much better position these days.
I would forever be thankful for Dionne because she gave me a position at her warehouse.
Around that time, it felt like it was so hard for me to get a job, but Dionne was one of the first people to hire me, and I’ll forever be thankful.
She worked with me because when I was coming into that job, I would bring the weight of the world on my shoulders, and she never fired me, belittled me, or shamed me for anything that I was going through.
I even started working at another warehouse overnight because I needed more money.
Once I moved out of Toya’s house, I could no longer work two jobs because I wouldn’t have anyone to watch my son for me.
I got rid of the overnight job, and I stayed working for Dionne.
During my time with Dionne, I was applying for other jobs though.
I was able to get on a different wave, and now I am working in logistics and operations.
It was for a company that specialized in household goods, and with that, I was over everything that happened behind the scenes, whether it dealt with putting drivers on schedule, dealing with shipments, the whole nine.
I was salary now, making decent money to provide for my child and I.
I’d given Dionne my two weeks’ notice, and she supported my move, wanting me to go on, spread my wings, and do what was best for me. I had her personal number, and she made it clear to me that I could reach out to her whenever I wanted to.
“I can’t wait. Seeing Rico get drafted with the Patriots was all the motivation that I needed.
He’s from Miami too, so to know that he could get drafted, I want to put that same work in as he did, so that I could get drafted one day too, mama.
First thing that I’m going to do when I get drafted is make you quit your job.
You not going to have to work anymore ma.
I promise you,” his words melted my heart.
I loved to hear my son say that, but I wasn’t one of those mama’s that was going to put my son’s future on the line, wanting him to get into the league, and take care of me because I knew that it didn’t always work out like that.
“You think if I ever see Rico again, that he’ll be cool with me? That man probably hates me for telling the cops that he killed Toby,” my son said.
I could tell that my son was still angry with himself for telling the cops what he did about Rico.
Till this day, I really don’t know if Rico did that or not.
All kinds of rumors were going around Miami, saying that it was Toby that was doing all that illegal sports betting with Rico.
I wouldn’t know that for a fact because when Toby was here, he wouldn’t tell me shit like that.
I try not to get myself in the middle of that shit, so even when I get around my girls, and they bring it up, I quickly dissociate from the conversation.
Toby was gone, and I saw a few months ago that Jax and some of his friends were murdered too.
That was big news in Maimi. Jax and his friends had gone to Tank’s party and shot it up.
Miami is one of those cities where you just have to stay out of the way because you could find yourself in the middle of so much drama.
I just wanted to take care of my son and continue to keep a roof over our heads.
Just hearing from my friends, the kind of mess that Toby had been into while he was alive, I knew that I did right when I decided to get an abortion months ago.
I didn’t want any of his dirt coming back to me, and the child that I would have kept, and now our lives are in danger.
It hurt me having to abort a child, but I knew that it was the best option.
“He doesn’t hate you. He’s getting ready to play for the Patriots. I’m sure all that stuff is behind him now,” I reasoned, and he nodded his head.
“Since you were working for his cousin’s wife, you think one day you can get her to get in contact with Rico for me? I want to call him,” he said, and I just laughed at that.
“I’ll see what I can do son,” I replied, not going to sit here, and make any promises to him.
He nodded, willing to accept that. After that, we sat in silence. We soaked up this new home that we had together, and I’m not sure what thoughts were running through his mind, but for me, I was thinking about all the beautiful memories that we were going to create here.