Chapter 9
Dionne Henry
Can’t Fight It Anymore
It was after six in the morning, and I was driving with my gospel music playing, headed to Lakeland, Florida.
Because the sun still hadn’t risen, it was still pitch-dark outside, and I kept passing the same few cars on the Florida’s turnpike, so from that, I gathered that it really wasn’t too many of us on the road during this hour.
I was older now, and I no longer sought any kind of enjoyment from being in the car for over four hours.
To make matters worse, it felt like the time would always go by super slow because when my eyes weren’t glued to the road, they would drift over to the navigation, staring at the time, that seemed to drag.
Of course, I would forever be happy to see my father, but the commute that it took to get here just wasn’t my favorite.
Another yawn escaped my lips just as my phone started ringing through the car’s speakers.
I had my phone connected to the car’s Bluetooth system, using CarPlay, so I saw my best friend’s picture appear on the screen.
Her and I had been on the phone last night for about an hour.
Blake knew that I was headed to Lakeland this morning to visit my father, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she was just calling me, wanting to see how the ride was going for me.
It wasn’t unusual for her to be calling me this early either because just like me, she tended to be up before the sun started shining.
“Hi bae,” I answered the phone for my girl.
“Good morning, beautiful. How are you doing? How is the ride going?” she asked me exactly what I knew she would.
“Girl, it’s going. I’m so damn tired. I have my coffee with me, but I feel like it’s not doing its magic this morning. I’m fine though. I have my music playing, keeping me up,” I shared with her.
“I was looking at your location before I called, so you have about three hours left. Listen though, I just got a call from Flex’s team.
You know who Flex is? He’s that new rapper out of New York” she asked me, and I laughed at her question because she knew damn well that I didn’t know any rapper named Flex.
I wasn’t with the times when it came to male rappers. Rap music really wasn’t my thing. I like soft R&B music. Some of my favorites were artists like Summer Walker, Mariah the Scientist, Sza, and Tyla just to name a few.
“You know damn well I don’t know a rapper named Flex. What about him though? Why did his team reach out?” I wanted to know.
“He’s having his shoot tomorrow for his album.
They said he was strolling Instagram, and he saw my work, saw some of the other male artists that I’ve worked with before in the past, so he specifically requested me to style him for the shoot tomorrow.
Originally, I turned it down because girl, I have so much work that I have to take care of down here, but they told me to give him any number, and he would pay it.
You know I can’t turn down a coin. His team is taking care of transportation to get to New York, and girl, they’re putting me in a private jet.
Not only that, but they even tried to accommodate my stay, but you know I have my spot in New York, so I can just crash there.
I say all this to ask you what are you doing tonight?
I’m flying out tonight, and I want you to come with me.
It’ll be a quick trip. We can either come back Sunday night, or Monday morning.
What you want to do?” she asked me in a way like my answer was already yes.
I loved New York, and I wasn’t going to turn down an opportunity to go out there. Besides, I didn’t have anything planned this weekend, so I didn’t mind flying out to New York, and supporting my best friend, while she was in her element.
“That’s exciting news for you, Blake. I tell you all the time how proud of you I am, but I really need you to know it.
All the dreams that you had as a kid when it came to fashion, it really feels good to see you out here chasing them and getting to the bag the way you are.
You know I don’t mind flying to New York with you.
Since we’re going to leave tonight, that gives me more than enough time to pack a bag, and take a nap because you know this back, and forth drive is going to kick my ass,” I said to her, and she laughed.
“Thank you, best friend. I appreciate you. You know I love you more than life itself,” she said to me, and I smiled at her words because I knew that it was true.
“I love you more. More than my Chanel bags,” I let her know, and she chuckled.
We talked a little bit more on the phone, and she let me know to text her once I’d made it to the facility.
I assured her that I would, and like she was my man, I let her know again how much I loved her, and then we hung the phone up.
The sun eventually started to rise, and once it did, I felt like the time that I spent in the car started flying.
During my ride, my mom and Free called me, both wanting to know how I was doing, and how the ride was going.
I wasn’t surprised that I didn’t hear from Tommie because her ass went out last night, so I’m sure that she was somewhere laid up with a hangover.
Not only did she go out last night, but her ass turned her phone location off, so there was no telling where she was, and who she was with.
I didn’t care what my sister did because she was grown, but I just prayed that she wasn’t somewhere with Gino’s ass.
Gino was my sisters situationship, and the two of them were toxic as hell.
It wasn’t Free’s and June’s level of toxic from the past, either.
Their shit was much worst, which says a lot because June and Free were bad, too.
Police used to get called for the two of them, and I had to leave my house a couple of times in the middle of the night to get Free out of jail.
Tommie has been through some of that same shit with Gino, but drugs would be involved in their shit, and I think that’s why it’s worst. Back then, Tommie used to pop pills, and that shit would fuck with her mind, and have her spazzing.
Gino would do pills as well, along with smoke weed, and he was a heavy drinker.
With the drugs in their system, they would both act irrational, and I felt like they did so much better when they weren’t together.
These days, Tommie no longer popped pills.
I knew she didn’t because her whole vibe has changed for the better.
When Nivea died, we all had our own fucked up way that we dealt with that.
I just became more closed off than I’ve ever been in my life.
Free’s ass had gotten meaner, and Tommie turned to pills.
Along the way, she would neglect her children, which is why Free had done a lot for Tommie’s girls.
I never once judged Tommie on her shortcomings because I knew that she lived with trauma, just as I did, and Nivea dying was the icing on the cake.
Tommie had daddy issues just as I did, and I know that’s where a lot of her anger came from.
I wouldn’t trade my sister for anything in the world though.
I could call Tommie right now, even with me knowing that she was sleep, and tell her that I just got into it with a bitch at the gas station, and she would get out of her bed, come flying to wherever I was, ready to kill the bitch.
I never had to question my sister’s love, or her loyalty.
She may get on my fuckin nerves at times, especially with that slick ass mouth that she had, but that was my girl.
I eventually pulled up to the prison. I parked my car, leaving all my valuables in the glove compartment, having no reason to bring them with me.
The only thing that I kept with me were my keys.
Once I was out, I locked the doors behind me, and I got in line with everyone else, waiting for the visitation bus to come, and pick us up.
This process was nice and smooth because luckily for me, as soon as I got in line, another bus was coming for us.
I made my way onto the bus, took me a spot in the middle, having the row all to myself, and before I knew it, it was our time to get off.
Once inside, we formed another line, and it was the same drill as always.
It’s crazy when you think about it because I was now a thirty-seven-year-old woman, and I’ve been coming down to this very same prison to visit my dad since I was two years old.
My mom tells me stories, saying how she hated bringing me down here as a baby, but my dad wanted to see me, so she did it.
I went through the whole process of giving the officers my ID, so they could scan me in.
I was handed a set of locker keys for me to stash my car keys, and wallet inside.
Once that was over with, it wasn’t long before the group that I was in was called, so that we could go to the visitation room, where it was always ice cold.
I made sure that I always came to visit my dad with a jacket on of some sort because I would freeze my ass off if I didn’t.
My dad preferred for me to pick a table that was towards the back, so that’s what I did.
I sat for about five minutes, and I watched as inmate after inmate came out.
As I was sitting, my leg was bouncing up and down, and I guess that was my way of showing that I was excited.
This was the only version that I had of seeing my father, so when those moments came, I couldn’t control how happy I was.