21. Axel
Axel
“ E verything alright?” I ask Hayes as I grab the barstool next to him and order a whiskey and coke from Roxie.
He’s been brooding in that seat for the last hour and from what I’ve learned of Hayes Adler in my time working for Gravity, is that he’s not really a broody guy.
“You’ve been staring at the bottom of that rocks glass for a little too long buddy. ”
“Awe, how sweet of you to notice,” he retorts with more than a hint of sarcasm in his tone. Okay, maybe I was wrong. He turns to face me with a smirk. “How can I help you, Axel?”
“I was wondering if the offer to teach me some safety things is still good,” I grit out a little faster than necessary.
The laugh that escapes him is deep and guttural. “How much did it hurt to do that? I have to know. Ryker and I have a bet going as to whether you have any emotions at all.”
“Whoever bet that I don’t, will win that one,” I assure him. I’m not about to admit there’s a certain brunette that has my emotions stirring more than usual lately.
“Thanks for that, I guess. But of course the offer is still good. If you’re sure you don’t want to do a class with me, I can show you some things one on one.”
“I’m sure, Hayes. Just you and me.” I’m not about to sit in a classroom with a bunch of bachelorettes that want to learn how to tie each other up for funsies .
The things I want to do are considerably more fucked up than that.
I’ve enjoyed doing depraved things to Wrinley, loved them even.
I happen to know she loved them too. But, I want to keep doing those fucked up things to her and I need to do that safely.
The last thing I want to cause is permanent damage.
“Alright,” he agrees with a nod. “Is the girl you’re doing this for, the same one you were going all out with downstairs in open view a few weeks ago?”
The mention of Wrinley, has an unfamiliar ache forming in my chest. Despite what my growing fascination with the stubborn woman would say about me, I don’t let people close. The one time I tried to get close to another human, it backfired and I have zero desire to go through that again… ever.
“Possibly.”
My blood flow starts to pick up speed at the memory of her kneeling for me, doing depraved things to my dick.
Or maybe I was the one doing the depraved things.
The jury is still out on that one, because she’s clearly as fucked up as I am.
Then I took her home and changed the game by walking her into her apartment.
It was strange being there with the lights on, but it did give me more insight into my sister's feral best friend. Like the absence of not only dance pictures, but any pictures around her place. What woman doesn’t have a million photos at their disposal.
I even dug into her purse to find her phone–among other things–while she was in her room and there was zero evidence of any of it.
Like she’s completely alone with nothing to show for her almost twenty-four years of life.
She’s told me–very bluntly–twice now, that her mom died.
Like I didn’t already know about the accident and the life changing loss she suffered.
I’ve known since the day it happened because I was fucking there.
She uses her mom’s death as an excuse for why she isn’t living her life, like some fucked up version of survivor’s guilt and she doesn’t have a right to breathe the air around her.
At least I got her home that night after I fingered her in the pet play room without her freaking out on me. I think even she was surprised by that.
It feels like so much has changed since then. Like me ripping through her virginity as if it had stolen from me. In a way it has. I’ve spent years watching her… keeping her safe from everyone and everything. I earned it. It’s only right that it was me that took it.
Then she had the fucking nerve to question the cleanliness of my cock.
If only she knew, the amount of times that I tried to fuck someone–anyone–just to fail at erasing her goddamn face from my mind, she’d think twice about challenging me at every fucking turn.
She’d know how mine she fucking is–has always been.
“Earth to Axel,” Hayes interrupts my wandering thoughts. “Where did you go?”
“I’m right here,” I snap. “Can we do this now?”
“You want me to teach you safety basics… right now?” His eyebrows raise in question, like I spoke another language.
“Yeah, you don’t have to make a big deal out of it. Just tell me the important stuff I need to know so I don’t hurt anyone, like if I were to engage in a more primal activity.”
He furrows his brows and shoots me a skeptical glare. “Hypothetically… of course.”
“Look, you don’t have to do it. But you offered, remember? Can we please not make this more painful for me than it already is and just get on with it? Or I can find someone el–”
“No. It’s fine. I’ve got you, okay? I’m assuming you’re referring to something like takedown and capture?”
Taking a long pull of my drink, I nod. “What else is there?”
“You really are new to this, aren’t you?”
“Fuck off, Hayes.”
“I’m sorry,” he chuckles, his shoulders rising and falling slightly.
“Okay, where were we? Oh, yes. There are so many more things you can do that are primal in nature, but don’t involve aggressively chasing your partner down and fucking them into the ground.
” That right there… is exactly what I’m going to do to her.
“Like what?”
“Well, there’s resistance play, sensory exploration, grooming behaviors, massage, breeding roleplay or my personal favorite, restraint and bondage. There are a lot of other things, but those are some of the more popular ones.”
I stopped listening after breeding.
I vividly recall going through my little trainwreck’s purse and grabbing what appeared to be birth control pills.
Not long after, I took her virginity and came so far inside of her, I’d be surprised if she was able to fully clean me out the next morning.
She looked breathtaking pumped full of my cum.
I want to fill her again and again, then force her to keep it inside until her belly is round.
I’d like to see her try to escape me then.
If you’d asked me even a month ago, I’d have told you that children are just a burdensome byproduct of two people getting their basic needs met.
Parents don’t really love their children, they deal with them…
unless they decide they aren’t even worth that and one day, they just…
leave. With the shitty parents I was dealt, I vowed to never pass the bat-shit-crazy gene on to another generation.
Except, I can’t deny that flicker of desire in my chest that pulls me to tie her to me–forever. It almost outweighs that promise.
She has since replaced the pills she “misplaced”.
My lips pull into an evil smirk.
At least she thinks she has.
Okay, I guess it’s more than a “flicker”.
Fuck, now I have to hide my erection from my boss or on the off-chance he swings both ways, he’ll think it’s for him.
“You still with me?”
“Yeah, go on. Tell me more about the takedown and capture.”
“Aside from being aware of your surroundings, to make sure neither of you get injured, you’re just going to want to make sure she’s emotionally okay as well.
Chasing and running can take its toll on both people involved, with all the adrenaline coursing through your veins.
So when you’re done, make sure you consider aftercare.
You’ll both likely crash as it wears off.
I suggest you have a conversation with her beforehand so you know what her limits are and what she may need from you afterward.
And no, you can’t just ask her after because she may not be able to tell you after.
If you do it right, she’ll be so high from the chase, you’ll be lucky if she can form sentences. ”
“Fuck, really?”
“Yeah, it’s different for everyone, but in my experience, primal chase play has some of the most intense drops.”
“Got it. Thanks, man.” I pat him on the back as I stand to leave. “You know… you’re not so bad, afterall.”
“Thanks, asshole.”
“Any news on the woods? Were you able to do anything with it?”
“Jesus, what am I, a miracle worker?” He huffs a laugh, like he’s half stunned that I asked. “How easy do you think it is to purchase and develop a plot of land?”
“I don’t fucking know. That’s why I asked.”
He gives his head a shake and runs his hand through his dark blonde hair. “It’s going to be a while. Please for the love of all things holy, do not use that area for anything yet.”
“I hear you.”
“For fuck’s sake, if you do use those woods, I’m not paying for any damage you cause to yourself or that crazy woman you’ve caught in your web.”
All I give him is a nod as I head to my truck to go home. Nothing I’d say would make him feel any better about it and there’s nothing he could say to change my mind.
I swing the door to the loft open and find Dom passed out naked on the couch with his dick pointing straight at the ceiling like it’s a sniper homing in on its target.
Jesus Christ.
I could wake him up nicely, like any good best friend should, but no one ever accused me of being nice, so ice-cold water to the face it is.
“Dude, what the actual fuck,” he yelps the second the cold meets his face. “What was that for?”
“That’s for falling asleep with your bare ass on my couch. And why the fuck are you hard? Put that thing away. Next time, the ice water is going on your dick.”
“It’s called morning wood, asshole. I guess you wouldn’t know anything about that, though. You’ve had that thing locked up tight for years. It probably doesn’t get hard unless you tell it to. Why are you such a control freak? It might do you some good to loosen up a little.”
If only he knew how fucking wrong he is. My cock used to be so well behaved, but lately he’s gone rogue. He gets hard at the mere thought of a certain person, let alone if she’s even in my vicinity. It’s fucking irritating having to constantly hide the very visceral affect she has on me.
“It’s four in the afternoon,” I reply flatly.
“It’s morning somewhere,” he shrugs.
Choosing to change the subject, because talking about his dick is the last thing I want to be doing, I ask, “Were you able to take care of the things I needed help with?”
“Yeah, you should be good. I posted on his social media a few times since the incident and sent some random DMs and texts. I used random VPNs from across the globe to make it look like he’s traveling and his messages and texts support it.
Both his parents are long gone and there were no real family connections to worry about. No one will look for him.”
“Good,” I reply, giving him a curt nod. Technically, I could have done all of that myself, but once he realized what happened, he wanted to help.
And Dom’s a helper by nature. Helping is what makes him feel needed and loved.
I trust him implicitly and he’s more than capable, so I let him have this.
As long as it doesn’t blow back on me… or him, I’m good.
I’ve also been a bit distracted lately, so having his backup isn’t exactly a bad thing. “Thanks, Dom.”
“No problem, brother. Anything you need, you know that. I’ve gotta ask, though. Where have you been? You hardly come home anymore.”
He’s right.
Lately, Gravity has been more of a home to me than my actual home, not that I was all that attached to the loft. “I’ve just been… busy.”
“Ahhh, so I’m going to assume that ‘busy’ is code for whatever you’ve got going on with your new girl toy.”
My blood pumps faster at his assessment and I lunge forward to where he’s now standing right in front of me.
Grabbing his throat tightly, I squeeze. “She is not a fucking toy,” I spit, each word punctuated with every bit of venom intended.
Although, I’m not being entirely truthful, because she may be my toy, but the operative word is mine and no one will be allowed to speak to or about her in that way… ever. Not even my best friend.
His eyes open wide and he raises both hands in surrender. “Got it, friend. Didn’t mean anything by it. Sorry.”
Before I can remove my hands from his neck, my phone buzzes against my ass. Releasing Dom from my vice grip, I grab it and see my trainwreck’s sleeping, drooling face light up my screen. I gave her my number because I was hoping she’d use it–eventually–but this feels soon, even for her.
“Everything okay?” Dom asks.
“If it’s not, it will be,” I assure him as I press the glowing green button to answer, my tone infused with skepticism.
“Hey,” I answer cautiously.
“A-Axel?” Wrinley stutters on the other end. Her voice is small and pathetic, a stark contrast to her usual sharp demeanor and tone. It has my hackles raising, wondering who the fuck I need to kill now.
I turn my head hard and fast until the pressure releases, sending a loud crack echoing through the apartment.
“Little trainwreck,” I answer flatly.
“I, uh…” she starts hesitantly.
“What is it? Just tell me, Wrinley,” I order. She clearly didn’t want to make this call, but I’m more than curious why she did and my patience is thinning.
“My dad is in the hospital.” Her breathing is uneven and now I’m even more curious why she’s calling me.
She could have called anyone–my sister–but she didn’t.
“I just got the call and I would normally take a Lyft to get to him but I had a shit day and I’m on the brink of freaking the fuck out and for some fucked up reason, I don’t do that when I’m with you.
In the truck. When you’re driving. You know. ”
Something unfamiliar stirs in my chest at her admission that she feels safe with me, even though she did try to backpedal.
Do I want her to feel safe with me? Not allowing myself the time I would need to figure that out, I grab my keys.
She didn’t actually ask me a question, but I’m going to assume she needs me to take the lead on this, so that’s exactly what I do.
“I’m on my way.”