Epilogue Wild
Three months later
“Are you sure you don’t want me to be there for this?” Rey asked for the hundredth time since I announced that I wanted to tell mom about us.
I sighed and sunk back into his arms. We were sitting in the light blue Adirondack chair that Rey had on the patio of his apartment, with me in his lap. We did this most mornings that I spent over at his place, which was pretty much every weekend these days.
But the school year was almost over now, and I didn’t want to go back to stay at my mom’s this summer. I wanted to be here with Rey, where I belonged. But I couldn’t tell my mom that without also letting her know about our relationship.
We both decided that we wouldn’t tell her anything about how it started, obviously. She did not need to know that. She’d never understand, and I didn’t want Rey to get in trouble if she tried to call the police or anything. I planned to make it really clear that nothing happened until after they divorced, though I’ll keep the timeline of that to myself. I knew she’d be concerned and probably have a million questions, which was fine. I just didn’t want her to feel betrayed, because that was the last thing I wanted. It was why I tried to distance myself from Rey in the first place.
I kissed his bare chest. “I’ll be fine, Rey. I need to do this alone.”
He grunted, but didn’t say anything else. Like I said, we’d had this conversation so many times I lost count, but I was 100% positive it would be better if I did this alone.
I sighed and stretched a bit on his lap. “I probably should start getting ready.” I was supposed to meet Mom for lunch in an hour. But Rey just held me tighter.
“A few more minutes.” I didn’t want to get up or argue, so I just sunk into his hold and closed my eyes, enjoying the sun on my face.
Besides the whole keeping this from my mom issues, things had been going amazingly well between Rey and I. When you put aside all the stalking, Rey was the sweetest and most doting partner I could ask for. Well besides when we were having kinky sex where I asked for him to be rough and mean to me. Outside of that though, it blew me away how loving and considerate he was. I mean, I don’t know why I was surprised, he was always good to my mom, but it just felt different to me.
I expected him to be super possessive and maybe even jealous, and I guess in a way he was, but he never stopped me or complained when I hung out with my friends or tried to control me in a way I didn’t want. We even finally sat down and had a real discussion about wants and limits and safewords. We went on dates together, and went grocery shopping, and enjoyed coffee and bagels on his patio every Saturday morning. He was a stickler for me getting my school work done and was helping me be less of a disaster in the kitchen. The cameras were still up in my dorm room though, and I still put on a show most nights we weren’t together.
Sighing, I started to wiggle myself out of Rey’s hold. I really had to get ready. I didn’t want to be late on top of dropping this bomb on my mom today.
Rey grumbled a bit but finally let me go with one last soul searing kiss. Grinning and feeling a little loopy, I somehow managed to make my way inside and to the bedroom to get dressed.
“So the girls and I are all planning a ten day cruise this fall. It’s going to eight different islands. Did you know this is my first cruise? I’m so excited. Cindy has been giving me all kinds of tips and suggestions on what I need to pack and what excursions we should do. Even though it’s months away I want to start getting stuff ready. That way I don’t have to get it all done at once.”
I smiled and let my mom’s words drift over me as I took a sip of my strawberry milkshake. Mom had been living her best life since the divorce. I couldn’t believe how stagnant her and Rey’s relationship had gotten and a little ashamed I didn’t even realize it. They were still on good terms, it was very mutual, since my mom had no idea he’d been watching me, and they still texted each other a couple times a month. I could only hope I didn’t completely ruin that. My feelings may have shifted, but Rey was still the only dad I ever knew, and I didn’t want my mom to regret years of her life because of a change in circumstances. Also, Rey and I were in it for the long haul, and I hoped the two of them could get along enough to be in the same room together after I dropped this bomb.
Finally Mom trailed off, and tilted her head, her expression concerned. “Is everything okay, honey? You seem…off.”
I just stopped my snort. Off was a good word for it. I was low key freaking out on the inside. Yeah, I kept telling Rey that it would be fine and I could handle it, but now that we were here, I would be lying if I didn’t say I was panicking a bit. I couldn’t even begin to guess how my mom would take this.
When I didn’t answer right away Mom continued, “You know you can talk to me about anything, right, Wild?”
She said that now…
But still, she had a right to know, and I really couldn’t keep it quiet any longer.
I cleared my throat and took another long sip, just to buy time. Mom just waited in that overly patient way she had that I both loved and hated.
“Okay, so there is something I need to tell you, but please promise not to freak out?”
Mom was frowning now, and she put down her sandwich, giving me her full attention.
“Honey, you’re scaring me.”
I sighed heavily. I had it all planned out what I was going to say, but it wasn’t the same once I was in front of her. “It’s nothing bad. Well, I don’t think it’s bad anyway. You might feel differently, but I need you to know we never planned this, and nothing happened until after the divorce. It just sort of happened.”
Yeah, I was lying some. Well at least on Rey’s side. It really did just happen from my perspective, so maybe I was only bending the truth. But I was trying really hard to not hurt my mom’s feelings.
“Wild, what are you talking about?”
I took a deep breath. “Rey and I are dating, and I really want to go stay with him over summer break.” Mom’s face dropped, and I quickly started rambling, “But I will stay with you. You know I love being with you. It’s not that. I just–”
“Wild,” Mom intercepted, “Take a breath.” Her voice brokered no nonsense, and I obeyed.
“Okay, let’s start at the beginning. You and Rey…are dating?” I flinched at her tone.
“Um, yes?” I didn’t mean for it to be a question.
Mom’s expression got intense, “Wild, I need you to be honest with me. Did Rey ever…um…do anything to you when you were younger? Something that maybe caused you to think you had feelings for him outside of fatherly.”
It took me a second to realize what she was saying but once I did, my face dropped in horror. “No! Absolutely not. I swear, Mom. I always thought of Rey as my dad, and he never, ever did or said anything bad. This is super recent, I swear.” Even his recordings and obsession with me didn’t start till well after I was eighteen and mostly living outside of their house.
Mom suddenly looked a lot older, but she wasn’t screaming at me or running away in horror. Not that I really expected either reaction, but you never know.
“Can you explain it to me, please? I’m trying to be understanding, and I know you’d never purposely hurt me, but you have to understand this is kind of weird for me.”
A small smile twitched at my lips. “I’m sure that’s an understatement.”
Mom returned my smile, which had me breathing a little easier. I did what she asked and explained everything. Well, almost everything.
Rey and I had decided that we would tell Mom that things started between us when he came to pick up my broken down car and get it fixed for me. That was really when it all began, so it was the closest to the truth. I explained how things just felt different now. I brought up the three weeks where we didn’t talk, because I felt guilty and was confused. Lastly, I explained the last two months. How happy Rey made me. How much I was falling in love with him.
I could tell it was difficult for my mom, but she was listening. God, I loved her so fucking much. I really did win the mom lottery.
By the time I finished, I was exhausted. Mom was quiet for a while before she finally spoke. “Well, I can’t say that I’m not a little uncomfortable with this. But, you’re an adult and so is Rey. We had fallen out of love years ago, and I don’t regret the divorce at all. If you two want to be together, then I’m not going to try and stop it, but I do ask you for some time before you’re inviting him over for dinner or anything. I just need some time.”
Tears started to leak out of my eyes, and I jumped up and practically over the table. “So you don’t hate me?” I didn’t mean to say it, but it just came out.
“Oh, honey, never. I don’t even hate Rey. I respect your choices and believe you when you say nothing happened before the divorce. It might take me some time getting used to it, but I will always love you, no matter what, and don’t want anything to come between us.”
We both started crying. I couldn’t even imagine what everyone at the pub was thinking, but I didn’t care. Everything would be fine. Mom still loved me, and Rey and I could be together without having to keep secrets and hide our relationship. It was honestly the most I could ask for.
Eventually we got it together enough to pay the bill and leave. In the parking lot, Mom gave me a big hug. “I love you Wild, always.”
“I love you too, Mom. Thanks for being the best.”
She laughed, a little watery from all the crying, then kissed my head. I promised to text her when I got back to Rey’s that night and also to come to dinner at her house every week over the summer. We hugged one more time before we got in our cars and left. For the first time since I found those photos on Rey’s computer I felt that weight lift off my shoulders and I was able to take a full breath.