Chapter 16 Feray
Feray
What have I done?
My mere existence has put my mates in danger.
These poor, wonderful men deserve better than what I can give them.
My eyes scan the battlefield, and whatever isn't painted vermilion or covered in ash has statues of horror-movie-quality vampires frozen mid-attack.
The weight of it presses down on my chest until I can barely breathe. They would be safer without me.
Some Luna I am—I can't keep my mates safe from the monsters pursuing me.
I walk around almost in a daze, barely able to understand the words coming out of their mouths.
It sounds like a speaker underwater with static.
The guilt is a living thing, coiling around my ribs, squeezing. Why do they want me so badly?
Walking close to one of the vampires, I stare up into his frozen gaze.
His expression of malice is locked forever in stone, reaching for something he'll never touch.
Warm hands palm my shoulders and pull me back against a much larger, firm body.
By scent, I know it's Diaval. His soothing chamomile scent envelops me and starts draining the tension from my body.
"Stop beating yourself up. We all knew what this trip would entail.
As your mates, it is our honor-bound duty to provide for and protect you.
" He spins me in his arms and places my palms flat on his chest. "You are not removing yourself from this equation.
Do you understand me?" His tone darkens, and I'm painfully aware that he knows where my darkest thoughts had gone.
The shame of being caught considering... that... burns through me.
"But..." I motion to the field.
"No buts. You are my greatest treasure. Our love eternal. The one being in this entire sea of time that has called to my dragon." He tilts his head, looking at me. "He's a fucking picky-ass bastard." Despite everything, a wet laugh escapes me.
"You die. I die. Easton dies. The other two will mourn themselves to death." His statement draws the attention of the others, and they gather around. The circle of them—my mates—closes in, not to trap me but to hold me together.
"No no no no. Please, Precious, don't think like that..." Khal looks panicked, his eyes darting all around. His usual composure is shattered, and seeing my unflappable basilisk so rattled makes my heart crack.
"Little wolf, I don't know what I can do to make you feel safe. Tell me, and I will do it." Torben's words hold unfathomable strength, yet the vulnerability in his eyes shows that he's scared. My mountain of a bear, terrified of losing me.
"My flame, none of this is your fault. Once Diaval and I started suspecting what your true bloodline is, we started preparing for war." Easton reaches out and places a hand on my shoulder.
The words hit me like ice water. "What is my bloodline? What makes me so valuable?"
Diaval pulls me closer and presses my head to his chest. The deep, slow lub-dub of his heart sounds like a metronome ticking in an ever-constant beat.
I focus on it, letting it anchor me. "We're not sure which exact bloodline you're from.
But what we do know is you are a true-born Luna.
When you learn to focus your gifts, you can control an entire army of shifters.
They will obey without question and die without a second thought to keep you safe.
A true-born Luna inspires absolute devotion to whatever her cause is.
" Diaval hugs me tighter as he explains what he and Easton have kept secret from the group.
The revelation should feel momentous, but all I feel is the crushing weight of expectation.
"I barely know how to be a wolf, let alone some almighty leader.
" I laugh, and it sounds almost unhinged.
"A bear taught a wolf to be a wolf. I'm no Luna.
" I shake my head and slam my eyes closed, trying to get a grip on the maelstrom of emotions battling within me.
Fear. Inadequacy. Guilt. Love. Terror. They swirl together until I can't tell where one ends and another begins.
Suddenly, Torben rips me away from Diaval and holds me tightly by my shoulders, making me face him. "You're right. You're not a Luna because you haven't tried to be. You can be anything you want to be." The way his hands come up and cup my face makes tiny tears prick my eyes.
"I'm so scared..." My voice sounds weak and broken as I admit what's really wrong.
"Change can be scary. You have four supportive mates willing to listen and help you in any way possible. Let us help you..." He bends down and kisses my lips softly, and I feel like my heart is about to explode with love. He sips at my lips before passing me off to Khal, who smiles down at me.
"Precious, you have shown me that there's more than the cold, dark underbelly of this world.
You are a radiant light in the darkness, guiding me in a new direction.
" The tips of his fingers lightly touch my forehead, sweeping my hair away from my face.
"I will always be there for you however you need me to be.
" Khal kisses my lips softly before passing me to Easton.
The aristocrat of the group adjusts his tie, then undoes it and throws it to the ground.
The gesture shocks me—Easton, willingly rumpled.
"As much as I would love for everyone to believe I'm perfect, I'm not.
" His hands slide down my arms until he grips my hands.
"No one is perfect, no matter how hard we try to be.
The only thing that matters is that you try.
" He plants a sweet kiss at the corner of my mouth before turning me to face Diaval.
He opens his arms in a silent request, and I go to him without hesitation, allowing him to envelop me.
Something has shifted. The walls he keeps so carefully maintained have crumbled, just a little.
"I'm going to give you two choices, Fer.
Either choice is a good choice." His index finger comes up under my chin and tilts my head back so I can look him in his eyes. "Okay?"
I search his face for any hint as to what my choices are and find none. "Okay?"
"The first is we have a five—almost six—hour drive to Vasserdell to make." He motions to the SUV. "Or..." He arches a brow and gets a mischievous look in his eyes.
"Or?" Butterflies flutter in my stomach as I stare up at him and see the flicker of his dragon in his eyes. My gut is screaming at me to run and hide from that look. On the other hand, my heart is content, excited to see what he's willing to offer us.
"Fly with me..." He turns his hand palm up, offering it to me.
"Easton can fly with us without his feathers ignited if it makes you feel better.
" His eyes drop to his offered hand, and my lungs constrict slightly.
This means so much more than just a flight.
This is the point that D is finally ready to give me the D.
.. He wants to forge the bond the rest of the way.
My hand trembles as I raise it to slide into his grip. A relieved breath escapes his lips, and a genuine smile graces his face. "Just us... I trust you and your drake." Diaval's eyebrows shoot up when I choose to fly with him alone. He stiffly nods, then walks back to the SUV, gathering things.
"Are you sure this is what you want, little wolf?" Torben asks, glancing between Diaval and me.
"Yes. It's part of his customs, and without everyone fully bonded to me, how do you expect to keep me safe? If he can't sense me like you can, is it fair?"
My gentle giant nods and kisses me sweetly. "Be careful and do everything he tells you to do within reason." Torben boops me on the nose, then returns to the car to help Diaval.
I look over at Easton and Khal, who are in deep discussion. They laugh. "What's so funny?" Both guys look like little children caught with their hands in the cookie jar.
"Diaval didn't think you would accept his offer." Easton stifles a laugh.
"He believed you would prefer to drive the five to six hours instead of the two hours flying. And if you accepted, you would want Easton with you, which would then eliminate sex." Khal offers between chuckles.
That catches me off guard. "Why would it eliminate sex?
It's not like we won't all end up in bed together at some point.
Hell, Khal, you've crawled in bed with Torben and me several times.
You chose to leave when Torben got frisky.
" I pat his chest and smile before walking back over to where Diaval and Torben are, leaving Khal and Easton stunned.
"Are we ready to go?" I look between the guys, and Torben holds out a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, a jacket, and a pair of my boots.
"You need to get changed first. A sundress will not keep you warm up there." He shoves the clothes in my hands, and I walk over to the front of the SUV, lay the clothing out, and start changing.
"Are you sure this is what you want?" Diaval comes alongside me as I pull the t-shirt over my head.
"Are you scared?" I fire back at him and smile sweetly.
"I can't be gentle, and I am very dominant." His voice takes on that deep growl that makes my core flutter in anticipation.
A soft laugh escapes my lips as I pull on my jacket.
"If a wyrm dragon isn't dominant, he wouldn't be a wyrm dragon.
Weakness is killed off with your species, especially with the males.
The strong survive, and the weak die. It's how it always has been and shall be.
" I meet his surprised gaze. "I did my reading at school.
I'm well aware of your society and its rules, Diaval. "
Stepping into his space, I place the bridge of my nose under his jaw in submission. "Make me yours..." I enunciate each word, feeling a shudder move through his body.
"Feray is ready to leave. You know the drill, people!" Diaval shouts, and my other three mates come up and kiss me goodbye, offering words of encouragement.
I watch my mates climb into the SUV and slowly pull away. I know it's killing Torben to leave me, but he knows what needs to be done. Khal sticks his head out the window and waves one more time before climbing back inside. My heart aches watching them go, but anticipation thrums beneath my skin.
"So, how do we do this? Where do I sit on your dragon?" I turn my gaze to Diaval.
He steps away, grabs a stick, and draws a basic outline of what his dragon's neck and head look like.
"There's a space here, just behind my horns on my neck where you can sit.
You may have to clean out dead scales first, but this is the safest place.
If another dragon attacks, get under that ridge—it will protect you.
" He glances from the drawing to me, making sure I understand.
"Okay. Clean out under the ridge and take cover if we're attacked for whatever reason.
Got it." I smile, trying to reassure him before he walks off.
This time, I keep my eyes open as I watch him shift.
It's almost like the fabric of reality opens and flexes several times before his dragon shimmers into existence.
This time when I look at him, he appears twice the size he was before.
Can dragons control their size? I'll have to ask Diaval about that later.
Diaval lies down, and I walk over to his dragon, looking him over.
His claws are bigger than my wolf. Some of his scales are bigger than my wolf. What the bloody hell was I thinking?
It's time to pull my big-girl panties up and start climbing.
Extending my claws, I begin my ascent up his neck.
It feels like forever when I reach the top.
I walk up his neck to his head and see the dead scales he warned me about.
Deftly, I preen away all the dead scales, letting them roll off his neck and down to the ground.
When I feel I've done a good enough job, I find a place to sit and pat his neck.
"I'm ready!" I shout, not sure how acute his dragon's hearing is.
He rocks slightly as he rises to his feet, and it's now I truly take in how huge he really is.
His head rises above the tree line, and my heart pounds from the mix of fear and excitement.
His body shifts as he extends his wings, and I hold on for dear life.
With several flaps of his wings, we're airborne, and my stomach is somewhere down by my feet.
It's now that I take the time to look around at the surrounding area.
It's amazing—the view from up here. The world stretches out beneath us, painted in the soft colors of early morning.
I've never felt so small and so free at the same time.
Within moments, we fly over the top of the SUV.
I see Easton open the sunroof, shift to his phoenix, and fly to catch up with us.
He glides alongside me for a while, looking me over—making sure I'm alright—before he heads back to the guys.
I watch him get back into the SUV, and Diaval banks to the left, heading who knows where.
The one thing I remember to do is take several photos and two videos and send them to Fi. Maybe she'll get them, maybe not.
Only time will tell...