Chapter 33
Jordan
Miller paces in front of me while he rubs his jaw with one hand. He shakes his head, still seeming at a loss for words until he finally barks at me. “Talk.”
“I’m really not sure you want to hear this.”
How am I supposed to give him details about why Shelley came to me asking for advice? He might think he wants to know, but I can promise he doesn’t.
“Oh, I definitely do. What the hell, Jordan? Start explaining.”
“It started a few weeks before your wedding. Like we told you, she accidentally sent me a message meant for someone else, and then we started talking sort of regularly. She needed advice, and I was trying to be a good friend.”
“A good friend would direct her to her brother for advice.”
“I don’t think either of you would’ve been comfortable with that.”
“What can my sister say to you that she can’t say to me?”
He looks so hurt and defeated, but it really wasn’t the betrayal he thinks it is.
I take a deep breath and shake my head. “She just had a lot of questions, and she wanted to talk to a guy she could trust to be real with her but not get creepy. Those are her words. We weren’t trying to keep you in the dark about anything back then.
Well, I guess we sort of were. But not in a nefarious way.
Just in a ‘this would be awkward to say to your brother’ way. ”
“So, to be clear, you’ve been sneaking around with my little sister for months and giving her sex lessons?”
“Don’t make it sound underhanded. It wasn’t like that.”
“Wasn’t it, though? Why else would you feel the need to hide that you were talking to her?”
“You don’t understand.”
“No, you don’t understand because you don’t have anyone in your life who means as much to you as my sisters mean to me.
” His words land with a thud in my gut, and I swallow the little bit of bile that rises in my throat.
I can’t even argue. It’s true. I don’t have any family who would step in for me the way the Millers are there for each other.
And after this, I might not have them either.
When he sees the stricken look on my face, Mike tries to walk it back. “Shit. That’s not what I meant.”
“Yes, it is. And maybe you’re right. We knew it would be hard for you to hear.
Look, I’m sorry you found out this way. I am.
But I’m not sorry for trying to be her friend.
Shelley didn’t want to talk to you about it.
The same way you don’t run to her when you need to talk to someone about a craving. Not every topic is sibling-safe.”
Mike sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.
It might not be fair for me to use his addiction that way, but the gloves are off now.
I want him to see he’s being a hypocrite here.
He doesn’t get a say in Shelley’s love life, and he has no business getting on her case for asking a few innocent questions. Or mine for trying to answer them.
“Be honest. Have you slept with her?” He looks straight at me. I don’t answer, just hold his stare with one of my own. I told Shelley I wouldn’t talk to him about this, and I’m not starting now. He heaves a disappointed sigh at my silence. “Just…keep your hands to yourself,” he mutters.
“This isn’t just about sex,” I argue. “Mike, you know me. Isn’t it better for her to be with your best friend than a total stranger?”
He hesitates. “…I really don’t know.”
I clamp my mouth shut because his attitude is starting to piss me off, and it’s only confirming that Shelley was right when she said she couldn’t talk to him.
Inhaling a long breath, I steel myself to say what I know I need to tell him.
“Look, man. I’ll always be ride or die for you.
But you’re way off base right now. I didn’t fall for your sister on purpose, but it happened.
I fell for her. Hard. I know she got scared tonight, and frankly, a lot of that is on you because we both knew you’d react this way.
But I’m not going anywhere.” I cross my arms and stare him down.
“I know you can relate, even if you don’t want to admit it.
Can you honestly tell me you’d have walked away from Danielle if Honey disapproved? ”
Danielle and her grandma are super close. Honey loved Mike from the beginning, but something tells me even if that hadn’t been the case, it wouldn’t matter. Other people don’t get to dictate who we end up with.
His shoulders relax and he backs up a bit, but he doesn’t answer, so I keep going. “Because I don’t think that’s how it would’ve gone down. I think you would’ve stuck it out and fought for each other. Even if it meant disappointing the people you care about. When you love someone, it’s worth it.”
There’s a long pause before he asks, “You love Shelley?”
I don’t hesitate for a second. “I do.”
His eyes scan my face, looking for any sign I might be bluffing. He won’t find it. He lets out a long, slow breath and moves over to the couch, taking a seat so he can think. It takes a minute, but eventually he says, “I think I believe you.”
“Good, because it’s the truth.”
It’s a long time before he speaks again. “You’re right about one thing. If this is real, it doesn’t matter what I think.”
“That’s what she said from the beginning. Unfortunately, I don’t think she ever really believed it. She cares about your opinion. And so do I. Too much, if you want to know the truth.”
Mike sighs. “I want my sister to be happy.” After a beat, he adds, “And you, too, man. Or at least I will, eventually. It’s just going to take me a little while to get used to the idea that you two could find that kind of happiness with each other.
I can’t say I like it. But I won’t get in your way. ”
“Fair. We can try to stay out of your face.”
“Nah. I don’t want you to feel like you need to hide from me. That’s what started all of this. It sucks that neither of you thought you could tell me. Falling in love should be a good thing.”
Now he thinks my being with Shelley is a good thing? Bro is giving me whiplash, but I’m not going to question his sudden change of heart when I agree with him.
“We both hated going behind your back.”
“I’m sorry. I guess I still have more shit to work through than I thought. I know you’ll treat her right.”
“I would hope it goes without saying, but I will. If she lets me. It’s going to take a lot more convincing on that front. You weren’t our only problem. But we’re cool?”
He shakes his head, but stands to take my hand and pull me into a one-armed hug.
“I still really want to punch you,” he admits while squeezing me.
“Yeah, well, same.” I pat his back twice before we let go.
He can be mad, but I refuse to let this break us. Mike has become a brother to me, too. But sometimes brothers need to have it out. That’s just the way it is. I know he only wants to protect Shelley. But he’s not the only one worrying about her now.
Mike steps back and tucks his hands in his pockets. His shoulders rise while he says, “I hate seeing her like this. I’ve never seen her this frazzled. This isn’t like her. How do we fix it?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know if we can. But right now my plan is to keep showing up.” Because the Millers are family to me, and that’s what families should do.