Sylvie Hide and Seek

I startle awake

after sixty minutes’

sleep because I’m

shaking tight and hard,

a shiver like my soul

is freezing cold. The doctor

called it tremor, side effect

of the new meds meant

to keep me calm, said

when I called panicked

that there was nothing

to worry about. Don’t worry,

I tell myself, teeth

grinding teeth into paste,

this horrible feeling is

apparently normal. Get up, Winslow

tapping by the door—

in sympathy? No, to pee,

and I leash him, hands

unsteady, open the door

and he pulls

and pulls harder and then I’m not

holding the leash anymore,

I’m lurching forward

like a car crash, I’m face down

on the ground, my dog a gold flash

in the night. Winslow, I yell,

Winslow, come back, gravel

in my chin, blood in my eyes,

struggling up in time to see

one more thing

disappear into the night.

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