Chapter 41
Now
Mama wore a pair of baggy jeans slung low on her narrow hips, and her white cotton undershirt was loose on her slender frame. Her hair, once long and golden, was now streaked with gray and cropped to her chin.
She looked older, with fine lines fanning around her mouth, but I’d recognize those eyes anywhere. They were clear and dark. They were Ruth’s eyes. Frances’s eyes. They were mine too.
Ruth pulled Mama into the room and shut the door. She twisted the dead bolt, and in those seconds, my Aunt Ruth was someone I didn’t recognize.
A sister.
“Lilibet!” She threw her arms around Mama while I watched, unable to make myself move. “Oh my God. I can’t believe it’s you. What are you doing here?” Her voice cracked.
Bunny stood silently near the corner watching, her brow furrowed. The expression on her face puzzled between tenderness and concern.
Ruth released Mama, but the two women still gripped each other’s arms.
“I came to see you and Aunt Hattie.” She angled toward me. “And my girls.”
Ruth’s face fell, and I watched as she locked eyes with Bunny.
“Milly. My Millicent Marie.” Mama stepped past Ruth in my direction with her arms outstretched.
When I’d left Mama in that prison a decade ago, she’d said that one day she’d get out and find me. I hadn’t believed her, not really. But sometimes, late at night when I couldn’t sleep, I’d let thoughts of her creep in. I’d imagine what our reunion could look like.
In every daydream I’d ever conjured, it had never gone like this.
Mama’s arms slid around me, and for a while I stood, straight and still and awkward, before crumpling into her embrace.
I had questions. There was no time to fall apart, but I hadn’t touched my mama in twenty years, and nothing could’ve prepared me for the strength of the emotions that funneled through me: love, fierce and blinding, followed by sadness.
No, “sadness” doesn’t do justice to the endless, dark pit of grief that seemed to open in my gut when Mama hugged me.
Questions swarmed in my mind like bees, but before I could sort out what to do or say, or shit, how to be, Ruth interjected. “Lilibet, how are you here?” She shook her head as the shock of the moment wore off.
Mama’s face fell. “You’re not happy to see me?”
“It’s not that.” Ruth’s voice cracked. “It’s not safe right now.”
Bunny, who’d stood silently aside, said, “Burt brought you.”
Mama looked at Bunny as if seeing her for the first time. “Yes. That’s right.” She turned back to Ruth. “He picked me up and told me y’all were having this get-together. Said he took care of everything.”
My heart broke at the pride in her voice. Everyone in Alabama knew of the Andersons. The relief Mama must’ve felt when she’d heard her daughter had married into that family. She’d had one daughter who’d to run away, but at least Frances would never have to worry about anything.
“Honestly.” Mama laughed. “I know I’m the last person who should say anything, but…” She looked around the dismal room. “Is everything okay? This seems like an, uh, interesting choice for a reunion.”
“Son of a bitch,” Bunny said, spinning on her heels and walking a tight circle. “Son of a bitch. How did he know? How did he know?”
Mama’s blond eyebrows shot upward. “What’s the matter?”
I opened my mouth, but Ruth spoke first. “Burt, he told you we were having a get-together?”
“That’s right.” Mama nodded, unease seeping into her voice. “He said y’all had gotten a place in Alabama where we could visit, since I can’t leave the state on account of my parole.”
“Son of a bitch,” Bunny said again.
Mama frowned. “I wondered why we didn’t all go to Frances’s house, but he said that couldn’t happen right now.
Something about the media watching his family because his brother might make a bid to run for something or the other.
” Mama shrugged. “Sounded like snobby bullshit to me, but beggars can’t be choosers. ”
“Burt was here? You were with him?” I croaked.
“That’s right,” Mama said. The last remnants of her smile fell from her face. “Why are y’all so spooked?”
“I’m sorry, Lily,” Ruth said again. “But this wasn’t a planned reunion. I can explain later, but right now, can you tell me exactly what Burt said? Where was he going? Did he tell you?”
“Yeah.” Mama narrowed her gaze. “He said he had to go get Frances.” She paused. “Where’s Aunt Hattie?”
Fear tightened my throat. “Did he say anything about how he knew Frances wouldn’t be here?”
“No.” Mama’s head swiveled, taking in each of us. “What the hell’s going on?”
What was going on?
Frances had warned that Burt couldn’t resist a game, and she wasn’t lying because this felt like check fucking mate. And maybe I was a few moves behind, but I knew one thing.
“We have to go. Now,” I said. “Otherwise, Burt wins.”