40 MADDY
MADDY
Calling on my girls
The water is cold when I paddle out, the waves steady beneath me as I push forward again and again, letting the rhythm take over.
I catch one, stand for a second, before it breaks and pulls me under.
I come back up, wipe the salt from my eyes, and do it all over again.
My shoulders burn. My legs feel like jelly. But I keep going.
Eventually, though, even stubbornness has its limits.
My arms barely cooperate when I paddle again, and by the time my feet finally touch sand, my whole body aches in that deep, bone-tired way that usually means I pushed just a little too far.
I drag the board onto the beach and drop onto my towel with a long, shaky exhale.
The last couple days have been… something. Seeing him at school made it almost impossible to remember why I can’t like him. So I did what any emotionally stable person would do—I avoided him.
This is for the best. It wouldn’t have worked anyway. Feelings never work. So it’s fine.
Except Liam drove twenty minutes just to bring me my favourite sandwich yesterday. Mel and Kiara showed up with an entire emergency box of chocolate. Noah’s been handing me coffee at lunch without saying much—more than usual. And Dad keeps bringing extra food home from the café.
Which somehow feels worse. Because they’re being kind, and I’m just lying to their faces. So much for being a good friend.
I stare out at the ocean, the horizon glowing orange as the sun starts to sink, the light stretching across the water in soft, flickering lines. A couple people walk past behind me, their voices low, familiar in that small-town way.
Most of the town already knows we broke up. No one’s said anything directly—just soft smiles that translate roughly to we’re very sorry and will absolutely demand details later, but we’ll give you a polite grace period first.
A soft ping cuts through the sound of the waves, and I reach into my bag until I find my phone. There’s a notification—an email from school.
Yearbook Preview — Sneak Peek Inside!
My thumb hovers for a moment before I tap it open, and watch the photos load in, each one a frozen piece of something ordinary. Classrooms, hallways, random in-between moments.
There’s a group in the library, someone caught mid-laugh while another person in the background is very obviously doing something they’re not supposed to, and another picture of a teacher holding a stack of papers, looking like they’d rather be anywhere else, caught in that exact split second between blinking and sighing.
A small smile tugs at my mouth.
These are actually really good. That guy knows what he’s doing.
I scroll slowly, letting the images blur together just enough, until I stop at a picture with all of us, sitting on the bench. Noah’s mid-sentence, Kiara’s laughing with her head thrown back, Liam’s leaning into Mel while she’s smiling bright.
My gaze drifts to him. Ryan’s caught mid-laugh, his head tilted slightly toward me like whatever I just said was the funniest thing he’d heard all day, like I was the reason he was smiling like that.
I stare at it for a second too long, before I force myself to swipe again. Another picture flashes past; blurry, chaotic, someone running, someone else yelling.
And then my breath catches.
It’s him and me. At the dance.
The picture fills the screen, and everything else disappears with it.
I’m standing there with my arms looped around his neck, his hands resting at my waist, pulling me just close enough that there’s almost no space left between us.
The light falls around us in this soft, warm glow while everyone else fades into motion, blurred and distant.
Our faces are inches apart. The moment right before we were almost about to kiss.
My heart stutters, but I can’t seem to look away, like if I stare at it long enough I might fall back into that moment.
My vision blurs.
“Oh, hell no,” I whisper, swallowing hard. “We are not doing this.”
I shove my phone back into my bag before the tears can actually fall. I grab my board, my towel, and start walking home.
I’m sitting in the back of the truck. Blankets pulled around my shoulders, the cold night air brushing against my face.
I thought the quiet here might help. That worked for about thirty seconds. Now all I can think about is how this is where it started. Right here in this truck.
I exhale slowly and reach for my phone. I open the group chat with the girls.
ME: you guys up?
DAWN: always.
TESS: what’s wrong?
DAPHNE: u okay?
I don’t even hesitate.
ME: can I call?
Seconds later, three familiar faces light up my screen.
“Okay,” Dawn says immediately, squinting at me. “What’s going on with that face?”
I chew the inside of my cheek. “Ryan and I… ended the fake dating thing.”
All three of them freeze.
“…Okay,” Daphne says carefully. “And how do you feel about that?”
“I mean…” My eyes dart everywhere except the screen. “It was the deal, right? It was supposed to end eventually.”
“Sure,” Tess says gently. “But you look like someone just snapped your surfboard in half.”
There’s a long pause and I feel the truth rising before I can stop it. “We kissed.”
Dead silence.
“YOU WHAT?!” Dawn screeches, nearly dropping her phone.
“Hold on—” Daphne blinks. “Like kissed kissed? Or one of those awkward little fake pecks?”
“No,” I mutter, rubbing a hand over my face. “Not fake.”
Dawn gasps. “IS THAT WHY YOU WERE ACTING WEIRD AT THE CAFé?”
Tess frowns. “What did she do?”
Before I can answer, Dawn launches in. “She literally dove under the bar—”
“I did not—”
“You absolutely did,” Dawn continues. “And then she whisper-fought me while he was ordering coffee—”
Daphne bursts out laughing while Tess covers her mouth, shaking.
“Okay, that’s dramatic,” I mumble, but my lips twitch anyway.
Tess looks back at me. “When did this happen?”
“Last week,” I say, quieter. “So… I told him we should stop.”
Silence settles over the call.
“You broke it off?” Daphne asks softly. “After the kiss?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
There’s a beat of complete silence, and I’m waiting for them to start giving me advice.
Dawn exhales. “Okay. Be honest,” she leans closer to the screen. “Was the kiss good?”
I stare at her. “That’s the part you focus on?”
“Girl. Answer the damn question.”
My brain flashes back before I can stop it.
“…Yeah,” I admit. “It really was.”
Tess’s voice stays gentle. “Then why end it?”
I pull my knees to my chest. “Because we got what we wanted. And we promised to stop when it worked.”
Daphne tilts her head. “Mads… what about the kiss?”
“That was just in the moment. It’s better like this.”
Dawn squints. “Your cheeks are turning red again.”
I groan. “Oh my God.”
Daphne’s voice is quiet. “You don’t look like someone who’s completely fine.”
My chest tightens. I stare down at the blanket, picking at loose threads. And then a slow and shaky breath leaves me.
“Okay,” I whisper. “Maybe I felt something. But it wasn’t part of the plan. So I just need to forget it.”
“Why?” Daphne asks gently and I shrug, not sure what to say.
Tess’s voice stays soft. “We know what Jacob put you through.”
“That’s not—” I start quickly. “This isn’t about him.”
Three identical looks from the screen. The come on, Mads look.
Dawn lifts a brow. “Girl.”
“I’m serious,” I insist, a little weaker this time. “It’s just complicated. And—other logical reasons that make total sense.”
“Mm-hmm,” Daphne hums.
I groan and drop my forehead onto my knees. “You’re all so annoying.”
Dawn leans closer to the camera, softer now. “We just don’t want that idiot to still have this much power over you.”
Tess nods. “He already did enough.”
“And he definitely doesn’t get to scare you away from someone who actually treats you right,” Daphne adds quietly.
I open my mouth to argue, but nothing comes out. Because somewhere deep down, a small, uncomfortable voice whispers that they might not be completely wrong.
Tess speaks again, gentle but simple. “You don’t have to figure everything out right now, Mads.”
“You guys are annoyingly wise,” I mutter, a tiny smile slipping out and that makes them laugh.
“And also,” Dawn adds, pointing dramatically at the screen, “do not let that handsome boy walk away. That man is fine.”
I roll my eyes, but warmth spreads through my chest anyway. “I just needed to talk to someone who knew the whole story,” I say.
“Well,” Daphne grins, “you called the right disaster hotline.”
“Love you, idiots,” I whisper.
“And if you need a distraction,” Tess adds, already excited, “let me tell you what happened at work today—”
We talk for another hour after that. The tightness in my chest easing a tiny bit.