Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Kraven
“Break it up!” the guard with a stick up his ass ordered.
“Fuck him!” I spewed as two other guards held me back. “He started it!”
The detention center was what I presumed jail would be, but for minors. It was basically the same setup—scheduled everything, shitty food, monitored visits, block cells, and fighting to remain alpha. If you didn’t, then you’d become someone’s bitch, and I wasn’t about that life.
They pulled us apart, throwing me into a holding cell. I was in there until someone banged their metal stick against the wall, waking me up.
“Come with me,” he demanded.
They changed guards all the time, so it was hard to keep up with who was who.
Not that I was trying to keep track of them.
I went through the steps and emotions of getting released, anticipating seeing Joe and having to pretend I gave a shit.
Releasing me from this hellhole was the least he could do.
As soon as I stepped foot into the exit room, I saw her standing there. She was wearing a long dress, and her hair was down. She looked the same, but different.
“The fuck,” I whispered to myself. “What are you doing here?”
“Baby,” she greeted, approaching me.
I held my hand up, stopping her midway.
“Okay…” she coaxed with a sad smile. “I deserve that.”
“You deserve nothing.”
“Sweetheart, I’m here for you.” She gestured to the paperwork in her hands. “Look! You’re free! I signed you out!”
“Mrs. Knightly, now that your son is here, let me repeat his release terms,” the caseworker said.
I was stuck on probation until my court appearance, which meant I’d get sporadic house visits and phone calls. I was only allowed to go to school, where my teachers would supervise me, making sure I was in attendance and reporting back to my caseworker.
I was finally becoming an adult, and I was getting treated like a child.
Once we stepped outside into the open world, I told her, “You can go now.” I didn’t bother to turn around and face her.
I kept walking, but she grabbed my arm, stopping me to look at her.
“I’m not leaving you again. I’m here to stay. I promise.”
I cocked my head. “Stay where?”
“At the house…” She hesitated. “Our home.”
“You can’t be serious?” I snapped.
“Of course, I am.” She grabbed my face. “You need me.”
I jerked my head back. “I stopped needing you a long time ago.”
“Kraven… please… give me a chance.”
“A chance for what exactly?”
“A chance to be your mommy.”
I scoffed out a chuckle. “My mommy? How old do you think I am?”
She smiled. “My lone wolf will be eighteen in a couple of weeks.”
“Jesus… you’re more deluded than I thought. Are you sure you’re not high?”
“Kraven, I’m sober. I’ve been sober for a while. You can talk to my sponsor! She’ll tell you.”
“I’m going to turn around now and leave you here.”
“Kraven, please…”
“Don’t follow me, or better yet, be back in ten,” I mocked.
With that, I spun and left, calling an Uber to come pick me up.
An hour later, I was walking through the front door.
It was early as hell, and all I wanted was a shower and to sleep in my own bed after I ate half the fridge.
Between not sleeping and eating food that literally tasted like dog shit, I was run down.
Pitifully trying to block out the fact that Julius involved our mother in this mess.
My mess.
When we couldn’t find Joe, he resorted to finding our mother instead.
As much as I hated it, I was free. Though having to deal with the fallout of Justin and now our mom were two things Julius more than likely wanted to murder me for.
He kept his cool when he visited me with Mark.
I was shocked that Julius had hired our own lawyer in the first place, but thankful nonetheless.
Where he was getting the money to pay him crossed my mind more than once.
He’s the responsible one, yeah?
He wouldn’t involve himself in anything shady, not when he had the golden-boy image he was adamant on living up to. Before I could give it another thought, the garage door opened while I was warming up a plate of food, revealing the woman I least expected.
“Jesus, you’re like the gum on the bottom of my shoe.”
She briefly smirked, shutting the door behind her. “You think I don’t remember where the hide-a-key is?”
“Well,” I clarified, “we have been robbed a few times. We just thought it was Joe.”
She chuckled. “Still my funny boy.”
“I’m not laughing.”
She giggled, grabbing the food from my hand. “Here, let me do that for you.”
I let her take it, too exhausted to put up a fight.
I think a part of me always expected her to come back at some point.
I wasn’t waiting for her. I stopped waiting years ago.
Seeing her there, in the kitchen, a place we spent a lot of our time when I was growing up, was quite a sight.
She loved to cook, and I loved to watch.
Out of Julius and me, I was definitely the one closer to her. I wasn’t lying when I said Julius was a lot like her, and the subconscious part of me had a field day contemplating what the hell that meant.
She picked the perfect time to show up. I was too burned out from everything crashing and burning to give a shit. Or at least that was what I told myself as I sat at the kitchen island, drinking down the bottle of water in one long gulp.
She turned on the stove, grabbing bacon and eggs out of the fridge.
My mind chose that moment to take me back to another place and time when I used to sit in this exact spot and watch her cook for me.
It was one of the reasons I wasn’t there when Isla would cook.
To avoid this memory right here—the one I was living as if nothing had changed in the past seven years.
I wanted to go off on her, truly I did, but I knew it wouldn’t make a difference. She was who she was, and I didn’t believe for a second she was sober or had changed.
She’d danced this number before.
She knew the whole damn routine like the back of her hand.
This wasn’t the first time she went MIA. She and Joe loved going on benders and not being home for days at a time. This was just the first time she had vanished for years.
I didn’t trust her as far as I could throw her, and I just needed to remember that. My flying off the handle would only let her know she was getting to me, and I refused to give her the satisfaction.
Fuck her.
“It’s like jail food in there.”
“You would know.”
She giggled again. “Have you been eating in there at all? You look famished.”
“What’s it to you?”
“Kraven…” She eyed me, grinning. “How about we start over, okay? Tell me about school.”
“School?”
“Yeah, catch me up on your life. What’s going on?”
“Alright.” I gave in, folding my arms over my chest. “I’m a juvenile delinquent, and you just signed me out of a detention center. How do you think it’s going?”
“Kraven, you’ve always been a handful. Do you remember that time I lost you at the store?”
“Yeah, you were high and lost me.”
She shook her head, laughing and ignoring me. “You hid under the clothes rack. You’ve always been a little troublemaker.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“Ah! Witty too. My boy.” She caressed my face. “I love you.”
Hearing her say that did something to me—it wasn’t necessarily a good thing, and it wasn’t a bad one either. I was somewhere between feeling like she kicked me in the balls and then sliced me open to see what she left behind. Using the same knife she used to cut us out of her life.
Except it was still dripping, echoing loudly in the room.
I didn’t move her hand this time. It felt soft against my skin.
“I know you still love me. I’m your mommy. Don’t you remember all the good times?”
“You mean the ones when you used to leave us with strangers to go buy drugs?” I sarcastically smiled, adding, “Those were the best.”
“What about all the birthday parties! You know what?” She squeezed my face. “We should have a party! Like old times! We can invite the whole neighborhood! You and Julius can play for everyone!” She spun around the room, swaying her dress.
I was sideswiped with yet another memory of how she used to do this exact thing.
“It will be perfect! I’ll plan and do everything!”
I shook off the memory, eliciting these emotions I spent years running from.
“That sounds like my worst nightmare.”
She caressed my cheek one last time before she cracked the eggs into the pan. “You’re so stubborn. Just like your father.”
“Fuck him.”
She glanced back at me. “Yeah!” She cheered with her hand up in the air. “Fuck him!”
I didn’t falter. “Fuck you too, Mom.”
Slightly wincing, she shrugged. “At least you called me Mom.”
I regretted it instantly. “You know what, you’re right, Melody.”
“Kraven,” she stressed. “That’s enough!”
Not surprisingly in the least, Julius bit out, “It’s not nearly enough!”
He made his way into the kitchen with Isla not far behind him. Relief quickly washed over her expression. Isla was dressed in his sweats, but in my hoodie. It was the same black one she’d gotten all bloody.
Reading my mind, or maybe I made a face, she mumbled, “I need to catch up on laundry.”
“Is that my influence?” I whispered back.
She smirked. “More like consequence.”
“Of you keeping my hoodie?” I teased, needing to take a break from the bullshit we were currently living.
All in front of the woman who abandoned us and was now back, acting as if it had never happened, pretending she’d been there this entire time.
Winking at her, I rasped, “Looks better on you anyway.”
Isla hid a smile while Julius bellowed, “What the hell are you doing, Melody?”
She grimaced.
It was the first time I’d ever heard him call her that. He must have been eavesdropping on our conversation. Waiting for what, who knew…
It didn’t stop her audacity to run over to him and hug him. “Please, don’t be angry…”
He stood firm on his stance, not batting an eye. This wasn’t our first rodeo with her in situations when we were pissed or disappointed in her. At that point, it was part of our family dynamic.
Family...
It rolled off my mind so damn easily.
Julius was always strong. Aside from anger, he was never one to show much emotion, except for Isla. Kind of like Joe was with Melody, only she had the power to ruin him, and trust me, she did it more often than not.
This was the game she played. She was a melody that was somewhere between heaven and hell, especially to the people who loved her.
With his hands clenching into fists at his sides, he reminded her, “Was slamming the door in your face yesterday not enough of a warning to stay away from this house?”
“But look,” she let him go, gesturing to me. “Look who I got out.”
“I told you,” he stated. “We didn’t need your help.”
“Wait a second,” I chimed in. “You didn’t—”
“No.” Julius cut me off.
I pointed at her. “Then how did you know?”
“Kraven, Julius,” she enticed. “I just want to help. It’s what moms do.”
“You want to help?” Julius moved at the speed of light, rushing to the garage door to open it. In one solid breath, he ordered, “You can start by leaving and going to hell.”
She slowly walked over to the threshold, looking back and confessed, “I’ve already been living there.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, grabbing the door. Only glaring at her, I spewed, “We have too.”
She opened her mouth to give us an excuse, so I did what Julius had the day before. I slammed the door in her face as well.
I was aware this wouldn’t stop her from coming back, but I tried anyway.
After she was gone, Julius turned his wrath toward me. Inches away from my face, he sternly pointed at me.
“Now you, you need to stay out of fucking trouble! Do you understand me?”
I pushed his hand away. “Yeah.”
“I’m serious, Kraven. I cannot deal with any more of your bullshit. You’re lucky I’m here right now.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Yeah, I know.”
“No, I don’t think you do.”
“What do you want me to say, huh? I was defending Isla!”
“Please don’t argue about me,” she ordered, swiftly standing beside us.
“How about you start with ‘I’m sorry, Julius!’ And then a ‘thank you,’ would be fucking fantastic.”
I only half gave in. “Thank you for stepping up, but I won’t apologize for defending her. Justin has had it coming for years, and you know it, Julius.”
“I don’t know shit. Especially when it comes to your arguments.”
“Whatever you have to tell yourself. Justin deserved to get his ass kicked, and if it wasn’t me, it was going to be someone else. He’s just a piece of shit who needed to be put in his place.”
“And look what place he’s put you in. Not just you but everyone in this room! Melody is back, and you’re the only one to blame for it.”
I adamantly shook my head. “I didn’t ask for this, Julius. I don’t want her here any more than you do, but you and I both know it was only a matter of time until she pulled this stunt.”
“Guys,” Isla spoke up. “This isn’t helping anyone.”
Julius glared at me one last time and left, making his way out the door and slamming it behind him.
Once he was gone, she turned to me. “Are you okay?” she asked with sympathy in her eyes.
“Just peachy keen.” I shrugged.
“Kraven…”
“Isla.” I fixated on her. With warning in my tone, I spat…
“I’m not fighting with you about another Knightly. My brother is more than enough.”