Chapter 43
Chapter Forty-Three
Julius
“You stay away from her!”
“Julius—”
“Isla,” I interrupted. “Stay out of it! I’m done listening to you when it comes to her. This ends now!” I turned my madness back to the woman who deserved it. Unable to bite my tongue, I lost all sense of reason, invading her personal space.
“If you come back here, Melody… if you make any contact with Kraven or me or Isla, I swear to God, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure it’s the last time you’re near any of us.”
“Julius, please, just let me explain. I promise—”
“Your promises mean nothing! You mean nothing! You’re a worthless piece of shit.
Actually, shit is better than you because at least you know what you’re getting with it.
You’re a snake in the grass, and the only reason you’re back right now is to clear your conscience, but the second you hurt Isla, you crossed the line I never gave you.
I don’t want you here. I never did. I did it for her. ” I pointed at Isla.
“That’s all, it’s as simple as that. I don’t want you.
I don’t need you. I fucking hate you! I hate you for all the drugs, all the police rides, all the foster homes, the drug dealers, the strangers you left us with, our dog you sold for your next fix, all the men you fucked behind Joe’s back as revenge.
And I especially hate you for every second you’re making me stand here and say this to you to make you understand why I can’t see you, be near you, or have you in my life.
You cause destruction everywhere you go, and I refuse to let you take us down with you again, not when we’ve made it this far already without one second of your help. ”
She wept big, ugly tears.
“You’re not a mother. You’re barely a human.
To us, you’re a stranger. I hate you for every time you didn’t show up for me at school, for forgetting me at pickup, for forgetting my events, for forgetting anything that ever mattered to me!
To us! For all the times you were high and didn’t care about anything but yourself.
You’re a selfish nobody, and you’re going to die alone.
Do you hear me? Alone, Melody, because your kids fucking hate you and would rather pretend you’re dead than see your face again. ”
“Julius, please,” Melody bellowed, pleading, “No more.”
“You know what?” I taunted, cocking my head to the side. “I wish that were true, I wish you were dead because even that… wouldn’t hurt nearly as much for what you’ve put us through all our lives.”
She broke down, trying to hug me, to kiss me, to hold me close. I threw her off, noticing Isla was crying as well, while Kraven looked like he was somewhere in the middle.
“You don’t mean that…” she wept. “I know you don’t mean that…”
I grabbed her shirt, yanking her to my face. “I’ve never meant anything more in my life, Melody.”
“Julius,” Isla spoke up, tears cascading down her beautiful face.
I let her go, stepping back and away. “When I get back here, you'd better be gone, or I’m calling the cops. I’ll make up whatever I need to, to make sure you can’t hurt us again.”
I took one last look at her, wanting to remember her just like this. With all her truths bleeding out of her as I held the butcher knife in my hand.
It was slow.
Deliberate.
In one slice, I slit her throat.
“Remember me like this,” I sneered. “This is who you made.”
With that, I spun and left.
Praying with everything inside me that this would be the last time I’d have to see her.
Isla
“Julius!” Kraven shouted as he walked out of the garage door. “I’m going to go after him.”
He went to follow him, and at the last second, Melody announced, “I’m so sorry, Kraven. I didn’t mean to—”
He lifted his hand, stopping her. “I don’t give a shit about your excuses and what made-up story you’ve conjured up this time to make us feel bad for you. I’m not a kid anymore, and the truth is, I never was. We were too busy trying to survive you and Joe to ever be one.”
“I wish I could—”
“If that were true,” he cut her off. “You wouldn’t have stood Isla up last night. You had a chance, and you blew it. Not surprising, at least not to me or Julius. Isla’s now just another one of your victims. How’s it feel to kill us all, Melody? Is it everything you dreamed it’d be?”
I stood there in silence.
Frozen.
Sad.
Depressed.
It wasn’t until he added, “I hate you too, Melody, and don’t you ever forget that,” that my heart broke a little more for everyone.
“Oh!” he exclaimed. “In case you need to hear, I agree with everything Julius said. Except in my mind, you still haven’t come back.”
He opened the door and left, leaving me alone with her.
Once he was gone, she bowed her head before meeting my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Isla.”
More silence.
She wiped away her tears with the back of her hands before she asked, “Did you at least have a good birthday?”
“What do you think?” I nodded to the wrapped gifts that were still on the table.
She frowned. “I got you something.” She reached into the pocket of her dress, pulling out what looked like a ring. “It’s the boys' birthstones with yours in the middle.” She handed it to me, and I hesitantly accepted it.
“It’s beautiful. Thank you.”
I couldn’t stop the tears streaming down my face, fully aware this was the last time I’d see her.
This was her goodbye.
Was it her intention all along?
There was so much I longed to ask her, but it wouldn’t matter. Julius and Kraven were done, and I’d lose them if I forgave her. I couldn’t do that.
I wouldn’t.
They were my family.
As if reading my mind, she uttered, “I know you care about them.” Her voice broke. “I know you possibly love them too. What’s not to love, though, right?”
“I don’t know where I’d be without them.”
“Yeah…” She sadly smiled. “My golden boy, my Julius… promise me you’ll make sure he doesn’t work himself to the bone, okay? Promise me you’ll make sure that he enjoys his youth. He’s still so young… has so much life ahead of him… okay? Can you promise me that?”
I nodded. “I swear.”
“Okay, good.” She inhaled deeply, exhaling, “Now, my lone wolf, my Kraven… promise me you’ll make sure he stays out of trouble, alright?
You’ve been such a good influence on him.
I don’t want him to turn out like us… like me and Joe…
He reminds me so much of him. Don’t let him become his own worst enemy, okay? ”
I nodded again. “I swear it.”
“Amazing.” She smiled widely with pain in her eyes. “Julius loves to have his head rubbed before he goes to sleep. He gets headaches sometimes, and the only thing that will relieve them is a head scratch.”
I wiped away my tears, every last one, trying to bottle up this moment. “I’ll remember that.”
“And Kraven… he…” She broke down, weeping.
“He loves to sit in the kitchen and watch you cook, so try to get him back in there, okay? They both love to dance around the kitchen. And they get hangry when they’re hungry.
They’re both really loving and sweet, and any girl who ends up with one of them will be the luckiest in the world. ”
“I know,” I whispered.
“Please take care of my boys. Promise me.”
I walked over to her. “I promise, Melody.”
“Thank you.” She grabbed my face and kissed my forehead.
“One day you’re going to have to make a choice, and I can’t tell you who would be the better man.
They’re both so broken because of me, and for that, I truly am sorry…
I never meant—” She shook her head, still holding my face.
“It doesn’t matter. I can’t change the past, and I can’t change the future.
I failed at that, too. I’m just one big failure, Isla, and I’m sorry that I hurt you. ”
I gave her a curt nod while she wiped away my tears with her thumbs.
“Don’t break their hearts like I did, okay? Can you promise me that, too?”
I nodded, crying right along with her.
This was by far the hardest thing I’d ever had to do. I never had to say goodbye to anyone. Nobody ever stayed around that long to matter to me. This was all so new and confusing, so painful, and never-ending. This would forever stay with me, and a huge part of me wanted it to.
“I love you, my sweet girl.” She kissed my forehead one last time, whispering, “Forever my sweet girl.”
I let her words etch into my skin, making their way into my heart. It was the first time anyone ever told me they loved me.
In the blink of an eye, she was gone.
I bawled for the boys once again, losing their mother.
But I especially cried for the little girl inside me who thought she had found one.