14. Flick #2
Carefully, I adjust so that I’m on my side. My chest is starting to ache, but I hold off on pressing the ice pack he brought me to it. If Sebastian sees me doing that, he’ll know that something is up beyond simple sore muscles.
“What else can I do for you?” He crouches next to me so that we’re eye to eye.
“Um...” I bite my bottom lip. “Nothing. Thank you. I know you have things to get to.”
He brushes my hair back from my face. “I’m staying here for as long as you need me.”
But I don’t really need him. Or want him.
Not for any longer than he’s already been here, though.
In order to take care of myself the way it needs to be done, he has to leave.
Which I feel horrible about, but that’s just how it is.
“Really.” I smile. “I’m okay.”
“Are you sure? I can?—”
“I’m fine,” I say, a little firmer than I mean to.
I don’t want to lose my temper with him, and I’m afraid that’s inevitable.
My standard reaction to pain is to snap at people—not ideal—and then to go be somewhere alone.
Dealing with my chronic condition has never been and never will never be a group activity.
“And you have things to do,” I repeat. “I’m not going keep you any longer.”
He still looks uncertain, like he wants to argue, but I can see his responsibilities battling with his desire to stay here.
He finally nods. “You have your phone?”
“Right there.” I glance at my purse, on the floor next to the bed.
“I’ll put it next to you, so you don’t have to reach for it.” He retrieves it and sets in on the mattress next to me.
“Thank you, Sebastian.” Now, please just go.
“Anytime.” He gives me a gentle kiss. “Call if you need anything at all.”
“I will,” I murmur, not really meaning it.
But wishing I did mean it. At least a little bit.
With one last kiss, he leaves the bedroom. A moment later, the front door shuts, and it’s like I can breathe deeply for the first time since we got to my place.
Is there something wrong with me that I just can’t accept help when it’s offered? Or am I doing the healthy thing, making sure Sebastian doesn’t get too close?
“Mew.” Cat peeks around the doorway and studies me.
I sigh. “I don’t know, girl. I just don’t know.”
I drift off to sleep wishing I had just let Sebastian stay.
What feels like a moment later, I’m startled awake by my phone ringing on my bedside table. I look at the clock: 11:47pm
If Sebastian is calling at almost midnight to check on me, I’m going to kill him. I scoot to the edge of the bed and pick up my phone. Instead of Sebastian’s name on the screen it just says “Unknown.”
Suddenly, I’m wide awake.
I feel like I might be sick, and this time, it’s not from my medicine. For some reason, not knowing is worse than just answering the phone and getting it over with so I click the green button and answer.
“Hello?”
Silence.
“Hello? Is someone there?” I try again.
Still nothing—just the faint sound of breathing on the other end, letting me know that someone is definitely there. My throat tightens and my heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest.
“Who is this?” I try to put as much assertiveness into my voice as I can but it ends up coming out like a plea.
The call disconnects.
I sit there for a moment staring at my phone. I tell myself that this could just be a prank—middle schoolers being annoying—or even a wrong number. But my gut says that this isn’t just a prank or a coincidence.
I go to my recent calls and click on Sebastian’s name. He picks up on the second ring, his voice raspy with sleep. “Flick? What’s wrong?”
“Someone just called me,” I whisper. “They didn’t say anything. There was just...breathing.”
There’s a brief pause. “I’ll be right there,” he says. “I’ll call you when I’m there so you can open the door. I’m on my way.”
I nod even though he can’t see me and disconnect the call. Instead of staying in bed, I go into the kitchen to make myself some tea while I wait for Sebastian. It’s more to give my hands and body something to do rather than allowing my anxious thoughts to run wild.
It feels like forever before Sebastian arrives, although it’s probably no more than ten or fifteen minutes.
Even though he calls to say he’s right outside, I still look through the peephole before opening the door.
I see him outside wearing sweats and a hoodie, his hair adorably tousled from sleeping.
Despite the current situation, I can’t help but smile a little as I open the door and he steps inside.
He gives me a quick kiss on the forehead before walking around to check the locks on all of my doors and windows.
When he’s satisfied that the place is secure, he returns to the kitchen, sitting next to me on one of the barstools at the island.
He covers my hand with his. “I’m not leaving you here alone tonight, Flick,” he says firmly, “If you feel unsafe here, we can go back to my place or I’ll stay here with you but I’m not leaving you alone.”
Relief courses through me and my eyes prickle with tears. “I think I’ll be okay to stay here as long as you’re with me. I don’t want to leave Cat.”
He nods and squeezes my hand. “Okay, we’ll stay here then.”
“Thank you for coming here in the middle of the night.”
“Hey,” he says, standing and pulling my head against his chest in a hug. “I told you I’ve got your back and I meant it.”
Despite everything that has happened tonight, I realize that with Sebastian here with me, I feel safe.