We Could’ve Been (Los Oceania)

Prologue

Cyanna Brooks

The set of meticulously-crafted, soft, French-manicured nails trailed over the hand-beaded dress that hugged her wide-set hips, slim waist, and breasts that hadn’t come in yet.

She was twenty-seven, if they hadn’t come in yet, they weren’t coming in.

Her hands stopped at her face, not a layer of makeup out of place.

The dream she’d had since a little girl had come to fruition and as happy as she should’ve been, Cyanna felt… empty.

Maybe this was nerves. Or the muted emotions of her parents not being present to witness this. Or maybe she was so nervous, she just couldn’t feel. That’d been a struggle for her – not feeling. Or feeling things she shouldn’t have.

A rhythmic knock at the door resounded around the empty bridal suite.

The knock she knew. The knock enticed those wayward feelings.

She stopped her musing over the image of a beautiful blushing bride.

She stopped the mulling over of feelings she didn’t feel right now. She’d feel them – eventually, right?

Softly, Cyanna cleared her throat, barely looking over her shoulder. “Come in.”

On command, Karys’ long legs strode into the room, his tattooed hands covering his face.

“You can look,” her words laced with a laugh of relief. “I’m not marrying you.”

Karys dropped his hand from his face and took in the beauty Cyanna radiated unconsciously knowing half the time. The white dress hugged every curve he’d had the pleasure of watching form over the years. Pleasure he could never express in any form.

Placing his hands in his pocket, he nipped the need to combat her statement and offered her a warm smile instead.

Small enough to settle her overthinking.

Not big enough to show he was excited about giving his best friend away to his homeboy.

This wasn’t how this day should’ve played out and deep down, underneath the fear of ruining something good – they both knew it.

“Say something,” Cyanna spoke softly, searching for his approval in the naturally focused expression his face carried.

“You know you look beautiful. You ready?” Karys asked, anxious to either steal her or get this over with so he could move on too.

Cyanna gave herself one last look over.

“Pretty, perfect, princess.” Words her father spoke to her constantly, that Karys recited to offer her the final blanket of comfort. She turned to look at him, taking his hand in hers. Feeling again.

Karys was a grown man now. Tailored suit, reddish-brown skin covered in ink.

That once crooked smile she adored, now housed a row of pearl-white teeth that only added to his charm.

With each step she took in stride with him, their life together flashed.

Once the doors opened, the headlines would read, Superstar Goalkeeper Karys Hill Escorts Best Friend Down Aisle in Private Los Oceania Wedding.

While they walked down this long hallway, their eyes were locked on one another – each heart begging for the mouth to speak.

Cyanna, the architect, hand-in-hand with Karys, the larger-than-life athlete.

That’s not how this started. Preschool mats and elementary besties turned middle school rivals thanks to cliques and puberty.

Those awkward prom photos in the living room.

She’d been convinced this entire time that he asked her because no one else would.

The truth: he’d made it known no one else could’ve.

Memories of high school graduation, life away at college where she watched him grow from the boy next door to the young man the girls threw themselves at.

And Karys happily accepted the attention.

From college into their careers and now, the most pivotal point in their lives and relationship.

The doors opened; their stare broke but still entranced as Karys put on a brave face and marched her into her forever.

For him, it felt like death. For her it felt like she’d made her parents proud but for herself…

nothing. Cyanna was in a vacuum of where she’d dreamt life would take her.

Hand-in-hand everywhere with that little boy who’d kissed her under the tree at six and vowed that she was his.

Funny how kids mimicked what joy the world could bring until it offered them the opposite.

She saw her fiancé move down and shake Karys’ hand.

She heard Karys mutter, “take care of her.” She felt her hand go from one to the other.

Her heart plummeted but yet and still, her mouth wouldn’t voice it.

She wouldn’t say it. Not here, not now, not ever.

A venue full of family and friends. Friends mostly for her and family, mostly of his – Damari.

He pulled her veil back and grinned at the sight of her. The present tears he thought were for him. An arrogant assumption. Karys waiting for the reverend to ask who gave this woman away, responded, equal parts proud to hold this space and sad the roles weren’t reversed. “I do.”

He offered her one last faint smile and kissed the top of her head.

When he stepped back and took his spot on the front row, Cyanna sighed, forced a smile and moved out of her haze and back into reality.

Karys arrived with a date. Karys always had someone.

Karys would always be a ladies’ man. Her heart could never survive that blender of betrayal while longing to be anything more than what they were.

With that, she proceeded with cementing her destiny with Damari. One her parents would smile down at.

“Find a man that will work hard, provide, and won’t leave you alone,” her mother would preach. Damari was that. Stable job. Wanted to provide for her. Wanted a family with her – eventually.

The vows and rings were exchanged. The guests cheered and outwardly, Cyanna looked like the happiest woman in the world. But only her and Karys would know that this should’ve been them.

Karys watched from the other side of the room, by the bar.

He should’ve opted for water, being that he was still in season.

But only tequila would soothe the heartache.

For them both. Ordering another for him and a paloma for her, he signaled the waiter to get the plate he asked them to stash for her.

Drink in tow, he trailed her outside on to the veranda.

“You look like you needed this,” he spoke, holding the glass out for Cyanna to take.

“I did,” she spoke with a sigh. “Thank you. This has felt like work, more than a celebration. I haven’t even had a moment to eat.”

As the words left her mouth, the plate of filet mignon, crab cake, and sautéed asparagus arrived.

“Oh, I love you, thank you,” she huffed with gratitude. “I thought you were going to cut out early?”

“I’ll take the p.j. to Ganton Hills after your send off. I told you I was here all night,” Karys stated. He watched her eat and drink before commenting. “I need you to promise me something.”

Cyanna’s eyes lifted. “What’s that?”

“If ever this shit goes left or if you need me, you’ll call me. Don’t suffer through it for the sake of saying you can make it through anything,” he replied, swiping a lone piece of hair out of her face. “Promise me.”

Her voice caught in her throat. It was too late now to tell the truth. “I promise.”

“Karys, you got to let me have my wife,” Damari joked drunkenly, roaming out onto the veranda. “Baby, our song is playing.”

Damari had been caught up in celebrating with his family while Cyanna floated around the room, checking on guests and posing for photos. Outside of their first dance and the father and daughter dance she skipped over to allow Damari and his mother more time, he hadn’t been concerned about her.

“I’ll be right there,” Cyanna hummed sweetly, silently vowing to be in this one hundred percent.

“Aight, I’ll be waiting on your sexy ass,” he grunted, moving back into the reception.

Karys offered her another focused glare. “The minute you need me. I’m running to you. Go dance with your husband. I’ll leave when you leave.”