Chapter 4
FOUR
Cyanna
“Mr. Luther,” Cyanna crooned, plastering that face like all was well. Performative at best. The only one who knew that she wasn’t okay was Karys.
Karys. She almost told on herself. Almost abandoned her moral compass and threw it all to the wind.
A moment of weakness she needed to avoid like her life depended on it because – what if.
That’s what lingered. The question of what if he broke her more than she’d allowed Damari to.
At some point, she’d bounce back from Damari whether it be in a week, month, year.
Bouncing back if Karys broke her heart? Unlikely.
He knew her too deeply. He was too close to the tender parts she guarded.
He wiped the tears when her parents died.
He covered her pants with a hoodie when she got her first menstrual.
He knew her fears. He knew her. The Cyanna that was buried under the conditioning of being perfect – he knew.
And because he knew all of those things, he knew where her kill switch was.
Safe to say she just needed him to lock in and be with Yanieca so the thought – the longing of having him could zap from her being. The dreams and mulling over how beautiful they could be together needed to stop. For her mental, because anything other than that was torture.
“Cyanna. As beautiful as ever. You look just like your mother,” Mr. Luther, her father’s oldest friend and legal confidant cooed, opening his arms to receive her.
With his close proximity to her and the family, Cyanna thought he would’ve been the one to walk her down the aisle and give her away – he declined with his highest respect.
She hugged him and kissed his cheek. “How are you?”
Mr. Luther pulled back and studied her. “I’d be better if I knew the reason for this meeting. When we start talking about trusts, I get nervous. Do you want to dissolve it?”
“The opposite. I know the company is reaching maturity and I can have it solely, but in the light of my husband cheating on me…I want to keep it and everything else locked up.” Cyanna watched him purse his lips and drop his aged bones into a nearby seat.
“How long? Has he been cheating on you? That’s a direct violation of the prenup,” Mr. Luther pointed out.
“So is alienation of affection,” Cyanna huffed, rolling her eyes. “He can contest that. Say I withheld his basic needs as man after the miscarriage.”
“Oh, Cyanna,” he groaned. “I’m sorry, babygirl.”
“I’m okay…today. I’m fine. I just don’t want him taking what’s mine.
I’ve given him enough,” Cyanna spoke up, sitting down.
“So, if this little affair he has with whoever she is began after that, I’ll be giving up what’s mine.
And I refuse to give a nigga something they didn’t work for.
Do you know he left me alone while life was leaving my womb? ”
Mr. Luther rubbed his face. “There’s ways to handle this, Cyanna. A plethora of options.”
“Keep the Azul way away from this. Please. I want to know who it is and how long she’s been carrying his child. Then file the papers, I’ll get him to sign.”
“In the event he doesn’t?” Mr. Luther asked, making her scoff in a bitter laughter.
“The house is mine, the car he’s driving is mine, every suit, tie, wing-tipped shoe, Italian loafer, pendant, and cuff link I bought. He’d be smart to sign the shit and get out of my way,” she huffed before pausing.
“Cyanna,” he crooned. “How are you feeling? The truth.”
Her cheek pierced with a sad dimple. “Like I failed. Two years in, and we’ve been strangers for almost seven months. I really thought that baby was going to fix whatever was broken between us but…I see that we just don’t fit. And that – hurts.”
“You’re going to be fine. You know this.
You’ll be better than fine. You just need to drop the deadweight and live for you.
Your mother and father lived their lives.
They had their love. You can’t live for the dead, Cyanna.
There’s no life in that. You have to live for yourself.
You’re a few months shy from thirty. You should start sooner than later. ”
She groaned and leaned back in the seat, dropping that pretty, perfect princess shield for a moment. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“You start by listening and following your heart, like you should’ve years ago,” he stated, giving her a pointed look.
She knew exactly what he was talking about.
The day he wiped her tears because Karys showed up to the Juneteenth cook out with a pretty, model-like date on his arm.
Then, she had no reason to cry; she was with Damari.
They’d been dating for a few years and the night ended with him proposing and her foolishly saying yes.
Luther cornered her in the wine room and attempted to encourage her to choose the one she wanted.
It was enough of a push for her tearfully whisk out of the wine room in search of Karys.
He’d left shortly after watching her accept a ring.
He didn’t even say bye. Looking back, it must’ve hurt him the same.
They’d been doing this to one another ever since those hormones came flooding in.
In middle school, it was her at a party watching him kiss and grope a girl who positioned herself as a friend.
A ploy to get to Karys. In high school, it was him threatening his friends and any other boys who found her interesting enough to stay away.
And then, in college, Damari entered the picture; painting her an image and taking the innocent parts of her.
This game had gone on for decades, and she was tired of it.
Tired of tethering him along. Tired of holding her breath for him to say it.
“I know,” she blew. “I fucked it up.”
“It’s not completely on you, babygirl. He’s a man, let him come and get you. And this time, you have my word, I’ll do the honors of giving you away,” he shared.
“I don’t know if I can do this again.”
“You can and you will. It’ll make all this other shit a distant memory. I’ll call you when everything is done. If you need me, call me.”
“I know. You’re coming,” she hummed, standing. “Thank you.”
Parting ways, Cyanna went back to work. On her desk, lunch from Vue21 and a bouquet of flowers. The card had been open and haphazardly pushed back into the envelope. Her tinted brows fused as she looked over her shoulder, finding Jackie and her iPad.
“I read it. I thought it was nice that Damari sent you lunch and flowers,” Jackie spoke up, an even smile on her face.
Cyanna saw the uneasiness in her eyes for the first time since she’d started working here. She chalked it up to her being tired, hungry, and dealing with the end of something that was supposed to be forever. She took the card from the holder and rounded her desk to take a seat.
Nothing on her desk was from Damari. He hadn’t been this considerate since she said, ‘I do’. And certainly not since the pregnancy and loss thereof. The man couldn’t even stay in the same house with her. What a fuckin’ coward disguised as a good guy.
“Should I block Friday night off for you?” Jackie asked, referring to the instructions on the card.
“We’re not done. Friday, be ready.”
Cyanna pulled in a deep breath and shook her head. “No. Don’t worry about it. I need you to pull legal. We need to draft some contracts for Hillcrest Holdings.”
Jackie pecked away at the screen but didn’t move. She was studying Cyanna. The details of how she held herself together, how nothing seemed to rock her.
“Is there something you need, Jackie?” Cyanna asked, eyes focused on her phone.
K: enjoy your flowers and eat. I’ll send a car for you Friday
He wanted to make sure she had no way of running away.
“Is it okay if I have Chardai from admin cover me for the rest of the day and tomorrow? I have a checkup I forgot all about. I didn’t want to leave you without any help,” Jackie spoke, forcing red flags to pop up in Cyanna’s head.
Cyanna’s eyes bounced up, brow raised, her brain recalling that conversation she wasn’t supposed to hear. She bit the inside of her cheek, schooling herself to remain neutral. There would be only one way to quell her suspicions.
“Take as many days as you need. In fact, I might not even need you this weekend. Seems like my husband has some plans for us,” Cyanna spoke coolly, watching her.
Jackie struggled to fight the arrogant smile. “Thank you so much, Cyanna.”
“Don’t mention it,” Cyanna finalized their interaction. When she was out of the office, Cyanna shot a text to Luther asking him to put his private investigator on Jackie. Something wasn’t right.
Enjoying the moment of silence, she ate her favorite meal from Vue21, affectionately named after her. The lobster Caesar salad with the garlic butter grilled ciabatta bread. Just what she needed.
Princess Cy: thank you
K: always
The moment of gratitude was short lived, an incoming call from Damari. She answered, rubbing the hand sanitizer over her hands.
“Yes, Damari,” her tone was colder than it’d been. Unable to hide the detest she held for him.
“I have a business trip I’m leaving for tomorrow. I won’t be back until next week.”
Right on time with the lies and excuses. “Okay. Is that all…”
He paused for a moment. “Yeah, that’s it.”
She offered him one last chance to steer this ship in another direction – testing the waters to see if he cared any. “I have a checkup in two weeks. Are you coming or am I going alone?”
“I really don’t see why I need to be there. It isn’t like you’re pregnant again or that we have any plans on starting a family right now. You don’t even look at me.”
“And that’s my fault?” she asked, knowing the answer.
Damari pulled in a sharp inhale. “You didn’t take preventative measures after I told you I wasn’t ready for a kid. So what do you think, Cyanna?”
She closed her eyes and exhaled the breath she’d been holding in hopes of this all being a dumbass dream. “You’re right. Have fun on your trip.”
He didn’t reply, just hung up.