Chapter 11
ELEVEN
Hollie
Our cabin doubled as a beauty boutique for the day.
Estelle, the head overseer of all things fashion and makeup, would stay busy for hours prepping everyone’s faces and hair.
Mom had arranged a gorgeous spread of fruits, cheese, and crackers for us ladies to nibble on throughout the day since we would be missing a proper lunch.
A pitcher of leftover mimosas from our lavish breakfast sat alongside used champagne flutes.
Mom had gone above and beyond to make today special.
This was what I longed for on my own wedding day—chatting women, dainty decorations, the scent of hot curling wands, and specialty cheeses.
But no. My mother-in-law, a complete stranger at the time, was the only person in the quiet, undecorated prayer room inside the stuffy church building that held no sentimental value to me.
She threw my hair up in a sloppy bun and tucked in my veil, leaving it lopsided.
I wanted my family there, but given everything that happened, Garrett said it was better to only invite people who approved of our marriage.
Bea’s dress hung in the middle of our bridesmaid dresses on a chord against the far wall, where the coming photographer would take pictures before we got dressed. I felt silly being included in the bridal party. I knew I was a pity-add. Even though I loved Bea, our lives had grown so far apart.
Regardless, I was happy to stand with her and support her marriage to Tag.
Estelle, finishing Jackie’s hair, called me over to the cushioned seat positioned in front of the floor-length mirror. I surveyed my face, marvelling that Estelle’s cucumber trick worked to take the swelling out of my eye lids from my late night sob session. I tapped them, giving an impressed hum.
“Told you it would work,” she whispered.
“Thank you. They look so much better.”
Estelle glanced over where Bea, Randi, Sarah, the girls, and Aunt Judith were munching on crackers and lowered her voice even more, taking on a sultry tone. “Give me an hour with your face and hair and Jesse won’t know what hit him.”
“Shhh. Are you crazy? Don’t bring that up right now.”
Somehow Estelle got roped into my conversation with Jackie last night. I had spilled my guts, and despite my fear, it felt so good to let it all out. Their anger and indignance on my behalf was a balm to my soul and the exact kind of validation I didn’t realize I needed.
“Sorry.” She giggled. “I can’t help it. I love the idea of you two.”
“There is no idea to be had.”
Jackie wandered over to us, probably worried she was missing something juicy. “What are we discussing? That plunging neckline Hollie is going to seduce Jesse with?”
“Shhhh! Stop it!” I hissed at them, my eyes darting to the table. “What is wrong with you two?”
Estelle laughed as Jackie flopped down into a chair next to mine, her up-do bouncing. Jackie sighed. “Can you imagine the caliber of babies they would make?”
My jaw dropped as I laughed. “Jackie!”
She fanned herself. “I’m getting aroused just thinking about it.”
Estelle’s chuckle stopped mid-way as she grimaced. “Can we not use the word aroused? It’s disgusting.”
“Fine. Titillated.”
“Ew!”
“You guys have to stop. There’s nothing to talk about.” Heat bloomed into my cheeks. “We shared a hug and you guys are acting like he proposed marriage.”
“Oh, he wants to propose. He was a breath away from popping the question last night.”
I rolled my eyes, simultaneously annoyed and delighted that my sisters were rooting for me and Jesse. Why did love have to be so painful? As fun as it was to think about Jesse, my daughters had a father, and I doubted my heart could ever be whole without him.
Estelle whined as she picked up a spray bottle. “Gosh, I wish I could’ve seen it.”
Jackie tsked. “It was a sight to behold.”
“Remind me to never talk to you two again. You guys are making a mountain out of a molehill.”
Jackie leaned forward. “The most interesting mountains start as molehills.”
Estelle hummed in agreement as she doused my scalp with chilly water. “Well, if you don’t want him, Hollie, I’ll take him.”
Jackie scoffed. “He’s old enough to be your father, Stell.”
Estelle batted her lashes. “Age doesn’t matter when he looks like Riley Green.”
Jackie chortled. “He does not look like Riley Green.”
“Who is Riley Green?” I was doing my best to keep up.
“Um, hello, the country music star?” Jackie pulled out her phone. “I’ll show you.”
I shrugged. “I don’t listen to country music.”
Jackie squinted at her phone. “Oh, wait. Huh. He does kind of look like Riley Green.”
“See?” Estelle said. “Told you.”
“Wow.” Jackie whispered, suddenly invested in her phone screen.
“Who looks like Riley Green?” Bea’s face appeared in the mirror’s reflection behind us. For a moment, we all froze, until Jackie played it off.
“We’re talking about Jesse. Estelle wants his body.”
Bea laughed. Her face was radiant today.
I had it on good authority—my sister-in-law’s—that Bea had spent some time with the groom last night despite traditions.
And, well, it showed. Her entire presence practically levitated with joy.
She kept touching her hair and lips and she couldn’t stop smiling.
She kept getting texts that made her squirm and glance around the room before texting back.
Bea said, “You do know Jesse is thirty-five, right?”
“Age of prime.” Jackie smacked her lips. “Delicious.”
Estelle thought for a moment. “I’m at peace with an age gap.”
Bea laughed again. “Well, good luck with him, Stell. Tag and I would love to see the man go on a date, but there’s no one that turns his head. Trust me, we’ve tried.”
“Really? Are you sure?” Jackie’s eyes widened then cut to me. “No one?”
I gave her a warning glare. Don’t you dare.
“Yep.” A facetious smile crept onto Bea’s face as she looked back at Estelle. “He’s overdue for some TLC, sis. I vote you go for it.”
Estelle cooed, “TLC just so happens to be my speciality.”
“Great. Keep me updated.”
Our chit-chatting ebbed and flowed as Estelle pulled my hair back with pins and did my make-up.
Jackie propped her feet up on the table, and Bea perched on the arm of my chair.
We laughed and talked about the old days and Jackie caught us up on the drama she was having with her boyfriend.
Eventually Sarah and Randi joined us and we all laughed until we had stitches.
It felt good.
For years, I wasn’t myself around my own family.
I constantly worried about how my life and marriage and happiness would be perceived.
Even now, I kept a tight rein on the way I responded and hoped nothing I did or said would give anyone a reason to ask questions.
I fiercely protected what little Garrett and I shared—and I had nothing to show for it.
Why was I like this?
Garrett had whittled the Thompson DNA out of me, one scrape at a time.
And I let him. Why did I let him?
The day flew by, and suddenly, we were tucking Bea into her dress, smoothing her ironed curls, and fussing over the way the tulle gathered around her pink cowgirl boots. Estelle sprayed everyone with more hairspray until we were coughing and laughing and jerking the can out of her hands.
Finally, it was time.
The wedding venue was truly breathtaking.
When Bea informed us that the entire wedding would be happening in a pasture at Meadowbrook, I had my doubts.
But standing in front of the simple ceremony site stole the breath from my lungs.
An arch with wispy tulle stood before the background of green rolling hills and big, blue sky with puffy white clouds.
On the left side of the ceremony was a small tented area with tables decorated for the reception.
Guests were already seated when my sisters, Dad, and I parked near the pasture.
He was shuttling all the ladies from the cabin to the pasture, where we were instructed to line up behind a series of old wooden doors that were propped at the end of the aisle.
Bea would hide there until it was time for Dad to escort her to Tag.
Dad smiled. “Go on. I gotta go get the bride.”
The groomsmen had already gathered at the doors. Cooper, my groomsmen. Harlan, a ranch hand. And the best man, Jesse.
The entire wedding had a very casual vibe, fitting for a ranch, but I had no doubt that white button up shirts, nice jeans, and shiny belt buckles was the Meadowbrook version of “dressed to the nines.”
And my goodness. It was a look that worked for Jesse.
The white shirt hugged his broad shoulders, the tucked tails accentuating his strong waist and stocky thighs. His hatless hair lifted in the breeze, the subtle reddish hue of his hair glinting in the sun. Talking to Harlan, he laughed, and I realized how striking his smile was.
I blinked, mesmerized, until Jackie’s sharp elbow caught my ribcage. “Careful. You’ll catch flies like that.”
I snapped my mouth shut.
She chuckled. “Don’t worry. I won’t make a move on him.” She paused, her gaze roaming Jesse. “Although—hot damn—I’m very tempted.”
I shifted my bouquet from palm to palm as we walked up to the wooden doors and the men turned to greet us. I fought the urge to look at Jesse and gauge his approval of me. But after fifteen seconds or so, I lost the battle with my will.
He was watching me with a soft smile on his face.
“Hey, Jesse.” I said.
“Hollie.” He leaned back, making no attempt to hide his perusal. “You look lovely.”
“Thank you.” I smoothed the front of my tea-length pink dress. “You clean up pretty good yourself.”
“Looks like you’re getting around fine.”
“Yeah, my ankle feels perfect.” I looked up at him. “How are you?”
“Better today.”
I smiled. “That’s the power of a good night’s sleep.”
He drew a breath through his teeth. “Well, actually, that’s not it. I slept terrible.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“You should be. It was your fault, after all.”
I froze, my gaze scanning his expression to find his meaning. Despite my attempts to keep the past in the past, words that had found a permanent home in my heart rolled to the surface of my consciousness.
“This is your fault, Hollie.”
For a moment, I wasn’t sure what to say or do. I’d been at the ranch less than twenty-four hours and I’d already screwed up? I thought Jesse and I had good rapport. Bile swam up my esophagus.
But a smile toyed at Jesse’s lips, waiting for release.
I groped for words. “What do you mean?”
Finally, his smile freed and his eyes lit with a deep sparkle. “You hugged me.”
My eyes snapped open wide, sweeping over the wedding party. “Wait. What?”
He lowered his voice, leaning toward me just a little. “That hug you gave me on the front porch last night? I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”
He was upset about that?
Come on, Hollie. Of course he was upset.
I’d thrown myself at him. I hadn’t meant to do that, but it had been ages since a man even looked in my direction.
I couldn’t remember the last time I felt like anything other than leftovers molding in the back of the fridge, just waiting for trash pick-up day.
Now, all of my thoughts of Jesse felt so juvenile, so silly that I wanted to melt into the grass.
“Jesse, I didn’t mean—” I floundered. “I’m sorry. That never should’ve happened. I—”
“Hey.” His fingers tapped the back of my elbow, a soft laugh escaping his lips. “I’m teasing you, Hollie. You’ve got nothing to apologize for.”
“I do though. I wasn’t thinking. That was—”
“The best hug I’ve had in a long time.”
“But I didn’t mean to keep you awake.”
He huffed in disbelief. “I know that.”
My entire face grew hot enough to start a fire and my hands shook. “Then why bring it up?”
His smile faltered and he quietly cleared his throat. His confident stance melted as his shoulders dropped and a soft bend in his torso brought his voice closer. “I just wanted you to know I’ve been thinking about it.”
“Oh.” I blinked, so confused. “Okay.”
His gaze dropped and narrowed on the way I was rolling the bouquet from hand to hand. A beat of annoyance furrowed his brow. “This conversation completely derailed. I must be a lot rustier than I thought.”
“Rustier? At what?”
“I…” His chuckle sounded self-deprecating. “I think I was trying to…” He lowered his voice again. “Flirt with you a little, I guess? But I’m clearly out of practice.”
I had no idea what to do with that. Mentally, I tried to switch gears, but my body was fishtailing in defense mode.
A swallow pulled at his throat. “I don’t want an apology. I brought it up because…” His green eyes bounced between mine. “I liked it, Hollie. I like you. ”
“Oh.” The wind rushed from my lungs, my shoulders falling in shock.
The opportunity to say something else was whisked away as Dad rumbled up the driveway, bringing Bea and the flower girls. Thankful for the chance to focus on someone other than Jesse, I oohed and ahhed as they got out of the car and gave the girls last minute instructions.
Moments before we lined up, Jesse gently clasped my elbow, his eyes serious and darker than before. “Hey. Find me later.”
My heart tripped. “After the wedding?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay.”
Then I turned to Cooper, who stood at the back of the line.
“Miss Hollie.” He lifted his arm for me even though it would be a solid six minutes or so before we walked. I slipped my hand around his elbow. He smelled spicy and clean, even though a lingering cigarette smell followed him.
“Hi, Cooper.”
“You look ravishing.”
“Thanks. You look nice, too.”
His gaze slid to my girls, gathering to walk behind us. “Your daughters look just like you.”
“They really do.” I gave a soft laugh, happy for small talk to keep my mind busy and off the fact that Jesse liked me, whatever that meant.
Cooper’s frame was a few inches taller than my 5’5” and he had grey eyes like Tag.
But there were deep, purple circles beneath his eyes.
Amid his rugged handsomeness, he seemed weary and thin. “And you look like your brother.”
That made Cooper roll his eyes.
Cooper was the only groomsman who hadn’t rolled his sleeves part way up. They were down and buttoned around his thick wrists. He also wore a normal belt, with a plain silver loop buckle, and boots with laces instead of cowboy boots.
But before we could exchange any more words, the music began and a hush fell over us all.