Chapter 41
FORTY-ONE
Jesse
Itossed a square of alfalfa into a black bucket hanging on the side of a stall.
The particles flying in the air made my nose twitch, but the smell comforted me like a favorite pillow.
Cade came behind with a scoop of feed. We were almost done with the feed rounds, and I still hadn’t asked him about Hollie.
Summoning courage, I cleared my throat. “Hey, I need to talk to you about something.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. I just need to discuss something pretty serious with you.”
“Alright.”
I paused, trying to still the way my heart raced in my chest. What if he hated the idea of Hollie and I together? I’d been fretting over that possibility for the last hour.
“It’s about Hollie.” Expecting him to be confused, his smile surprised me. He never smiled before 9 a.m. “I have feelings for her.”
“Oh, I know.”
His nonchalance hit me out of left field. “Wait. You do?”
“Yeah. Izzy knows too.”
“Really?”
“It’s pretty obvious.”
“No, it’s not.”
His incredulous green eyes flicked up to mine. “We’re not dumb.”
I swiped a hand over my mouth, hiding a smile. “I’m sorry. I guess I should’ve talked to you sooner.”
“It’s okay. I like her. Is she your girlfriend or something?”
“Not really. We want to keep in touch when they leave and see what happens.”
“Do you want to marry her?”
“We haven’t talked too much about the future yet because there are a lot of unknowns, but between you and me, yeah, I want to marry her eventually. What do you think about that?”
Cade nodded, silently thinking for a few seconds. “Would she be my mom?”
A chord of tension in my chest pulled tight. “She wouldn’t replace your real mom, no. But I think she’d be willing to be like a mom to you.”
Cade’s shoulders fell as he looked toward the ground. “Oh.”
In the blink of an eye, his entire demeanor had changed. Did I say something wrong? “Did you not like that answer or something?”
“I just kind of pictured her as my mom.” He shrugged. “I know it bothers you when I say I can’t remember Mama, but I really can’t. There’s never been anyone even kind of like a mom that I can remember.”
I heard what he didn’t say.
Except Hollie.
The woman who’d worked side by side with him in the kitchen, played games with him, and cared for him while he was sick.
In a few short weeks, she became the only maternal figure he’d ever known.
Hot emotions tightened my throat—I’d been a mess recently.
I blinked a few times, getting focused again.
“Hang on a sec.” I put my hand on his shoulder, stopping him.
“I misspoke. You need to know that I would never marry anyone who didn’t want you as a son.
You and I are a package deal and we always will be.
I said what I said because this is all extremely new, and talking about marriage is getting way too far ahead.
Hollie already loves you and thinks the world of you.
If we ever did get married one day, our families would merge in every way. I hope that makes sense.”
He twisted his lips to the side, thinking. “It does.”
Feeling a little awkward, I tried to cycle back to the topic at hand. “So, you like the idea of her and me?”
A smile came back to his face. “Yeah, I do.”
“I want to take her on a date tonight.”
He nodded, thinking that through. “And you’re gonna ask me to stay here.”
I grimaced. “Would you mind?”
“Will Izzy and Nora be here, too?”
“Yep.” I smiled at his enthusiasm to spend time with them. “Their grandma said they are having a game night.”
“Alright then. I don’t mind.” He smirked. “But I’m only fine with it because I want a mama.”
I swallowed at the way those words brought a blend of emotions to my chest. “Thanks, Cade. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
I drove the 3500 down to the cabins, jittering like I’d consumed an entire pot of Pilot’s extra caffeine brew.
For hours now, my nervous system bounced and jolted like I was a conduit for electricity.
The day had dragged by in painful slow motion, every hindrance extremely irritating.
Cade moved too slow, Harlan talked too much, Tag asked for too many favors.
By the time I left the barn at six o’clock, I all but ran.
Flying through the shower, I shaved my face and used cologne for the first time in years.
When Hollie asked what she should wear, I had said “whatever makes you feel beautiful.” Hoping my clothing choices would match her energy, I selected nice jeans, clean boots, a green polo shirt, and a belt.
On instinct, I grabbed my hat then thought better.
Kissing her thoroughly was my topmost priority of the night. Would a hat complicate things?
Any time we were in each other’s arms, she had a hand tangled in my hair.
I opted to leave it behind so we wouldn’t have to fumble around with it.
Before walking to Cabin B, I fired up the truck and cranked on the air conditioning.
At six-thirty on the dot, I knocked on Tag and Bea’s cabin door with my heart in my throat and a smile etched into my face. A long, quiet pause upped my anticipation.
When the door swung open, the breath left my lungs like I took a punch to the gut.
She wore a red, floral sundress that had tiny straps and an angled neckline.
It didn’t show nearly as much skin as the blush dress she wore the night of the wedding, but the flowy, relaxed fit highlighted her femininity and made her curves look like the softest place in the world.
And red was her color. I swallowed the lump of cotton in my mouth, groping for words that would do justice.
What came out was a very charming “Holy shit.”
Hollie giggled. “You look nice, too.”
I dragged my eyes up to her face, noticing her curls were down and free, brushing against her bare neck. “You don’t look nice, Hollie. You look sexy as hell.”
She bit down on her lip, smoothing her dress with an open hand. “This is actually Bea’s. She suggested it.”
I noted the small canvas bag over her shoulder. “You have a swimsuit?”
“Yep. In the bag.”
“I’ll take it.”
Hollie handed it over then strode down the porch steps, revealing the back of her dress which was completely open, the tiny straps loosely zigzagging all the way down to her waist. I sucked a breath, nearly going to my knees at the sight of her tank top tan lines.
Bea was apparently trying to kill me.
I could only hope Hollie’s swimsuit wasn’t a Bea suggestion, too.
I followed Hollie to the truck, opening the door for her and offering her a hand up.
Her apple smell wafted around me, turning my desire to kiss her into a need.
Even though I did have some alone time scheduled for us, the first thing on our agenda was dinner out and some country dancing in a public space.
I shook my head. What a dumb plan.
There was no way I’d be able to choke down some food while she sat in a restaurant booth looking like a goddess. No way in hell.
By the time I got into the driver’s seat, I was rethinking everything.
She chirped as I backed out of the drive. “So, where are you taking me?”
I swallowed hard, disallowing my eyes to wander over there. Pulling her across the console into my lap wouldn’t be a classy move, but I might cave if I looked. “Well…” I faltered, my tongue dry. “Uh…” I swiped a hand through my hair then dragged it down my face. I couldn’t even think straight.
My rear tires hit the railroad ties used to contain the gravel near the cabins, I cut the wheel hard left, then hit the gas before the truck fully straightened out, causing the truck to give a wild lurch forward.
Did I forget how to drive?
I suddenly wanted to laugh at myself. Hollie walking out of that cabin had so thoroughly wrecked me that I was useless. I couldn’t answer her questions, couldn’t think, could hardly take a damn breath. I accelerated to speeds that didn’t mesh well with gravel, bumping us past the barn.
I had to get her off this ranch. Now.
Everyone here had been in our space way too much, and I was over it.
If anyone had the audacity to interrupt us, I would lose my everloving mind.
Dinner and everything else I had planned when I was still sane got tossed out the window.
Next up was yanking her out of that seat and getting whatever happened next out of our systems.
“Jesse?” Hollie’s voice pitched with worry in the passenger’s seat. “Are you okay?”
My boot lifted off the accelerator as I looked over at Hollie who bit down on her full bottom lip.
Belatedly, I realized she’d asked me something when we were still parked at the cabin.
What was it? Me driving like a lunatic had probably scared her.
I breathed out a laugh, the humor of the situation starting to hit me.
“I’m sorry. I’m fine. Wait, no, I’m not fine.
” I chuckled again even as I tossed my head back in disbelief.
“Um, I cannot think rationally when you look like that. I don’t mean to be one-track minded, but shit, Hollie, you know how to torture a man. ”
A smile spread across her face.
“And if I can’t kiss you in the next few minutes, I’m going to need someone to tranq me.”
Her eyes went wide.
“How hungry are you? Can you wait?”
With that question, her gaze dropped to my mouth for a brief second, before dragging them back up to my eyes with a quiet nod. “I can wait.”
Blood hummed through my veins as I toed the metal beneath my foot. “Hang on.”
She giggled as the truck bumped over the gravel, a cloud of white dust rising behind us as we made our escape.
I started laughing too. The picture-perfect kiss I had envisioned giving her after we shared a dance or something now looked like a page out of a fairytale—so unrealistic it was stupid.
Cursing how long the driveway was, I pushed thirty miles per hour and Hollie braced her hand on the dash.
Above the cacophony of gravel hitting the truck’s undercarriage, Hollie giggled uncontrollably.
When I glanced over, her cheeks were bright red, her smile was huge, and the sound of her laughter was so adorable I wanted to listen to it on repeat.
Wanting and being wanted felt so good.
I reached across the console and scooped up her left hand, pulling it over so I could kiss the back of her knuckles. “This is pretty unhinged behavior for a first date.”
Her giggles escalated to a full laugh. “You can hardly call this a first date.”
“True.” I kissed her knuckles again, amazed that a hand could be so soft and smell so good.
I turned onto the road. The Guadalupe River ran through Comfort and there were some secluded access points not too far away that offered some shade and privacy.
The five minute drive amped my anticipation so much that a tremble settled deep in my core.
We didn’t talk. I just focused on staying between the lines, which took every ounce of my effort.
Finally, the trees lining the river came into view and I found the spot Cade and I discovered years ago—on the stretch between The Old Ford Bend and the bridge.
Over the years, it accidentally became my getaway spot when life felt heavy.
The access road that veered toward the river had started to lose visibility, light tire marks marring the overgrown grass were the only giveaway.
I pulled in until the truck was hidden, shadowed by towering cypress and oak trees.
Throwing the truck into park, I wasted no time.
I exited and crossed to Hollie’s side, opening her door and helping her slide to the ground. As soon as her sandaled feet hit the grass, I cupped her chin and dragged her open mouth to mine.