Chapter 45
The next day, Max showed up early with contracts - and good ones. He left Tanner to read it over while he talked to Jorge and Isaac, but this meant it was real. This was happening. Tanner, Jorge, and Isaac would be working this weekend!
And Deviant still wanted a deal with J.D.
This time, however, he told Max to get the details.
And yes, he made it clear he wanted that stuffed animal most of all.
The only real problem was the lack of space on J.D.
's gear. Still, he had space on his chaps, and it seemed to be what Deviant wanted most.
Sadly, Max couldn't stay. He had to talk to a few other riders. Apparently, his new business was booming, and while that was great, it meant he didn't get to spend much time with us. Still, this was Max. I knew that if we needed anything, he'd be there in a heartbeat.
But having a few hours to look over the contracts was nice. Tanner hadn't done this before, so he had some questions J.D. and I could answer. Even better, the more J.D. saw, the more impressed he was.
That afternoon, Tanner borrowed J.D.'s truck, saying he had something to do real fast. He wasn't gone long, and I didn't really think about it until Wednesday evening. That was when he claimed the second bedroom and started getting ready.
"Cody!" he yelled through the suite. "C'mere?"
"Get dressed," I told J.D. "Tonight is your first real date, so impress the man."
He glanced down, smiling in the sweetest way I could imagine, and nodded. "Oh, yeah." Then he looked up. "I also thought, um..." He couldn't hold my gaze. "Maybe you'd be ok using the other room?"
"So you two can be all romantic?" I nodded. "I was planning on it, but I might ask the same later. Tanner wants couple time, and I think this counts."
"And he's right," J.D. said. "We all need to feel special sometimes. I just don't want you to think that means I don't think you're special too, get me?"
"I always get you," I assured him before slipping into the second bedroom.
There, Tanner was standing in nothing but a towel, trying to pick between the brand-new clothes laid out before him. I was confused for a moment - and then remembered how he'd snuck out. Clearly, this was a bigger deal to him than he wanted to admit.
"The lavender shirt," I said as I plopped down on the bed beside his mess.
Because he had a few safe choices, and some country ones, but that shirt? It stood out amongst the rest. It also fit him. The fabric was the shiny kind that made me think it was expensive. The color was a shade of the one he'd made into his signature.
"Yeah," he said, setting it to the side, "but what the fuck goes with lavender?"
"The lighter blue jeans," I told him. "Is this a tie sort of thing?"
"Should it be?"
I leaned back onto my hands and looked him over.
"Quit," he hissed.
"Nope." And I kept inspecting. "Tanner, I'm going to guess that seeing a man dressed up works as well for you as it does for me, right?"
"Shit," he mumbled.
"No, I'm seriously asking!"
He glanced at me quickly, his cheeks getting a little pink. "Yeah. I mean, J.D. in a tie? Fuck. That definitely works for me."
"Well, it works the same way when I think of you in one," I told him even as I got up again. "I'll be right back. This looks like the sort of thing that's going to take a bit, and I need a drink."
"Fridge is stocked with Mike's, I bet," he called back. "Max makes sure of it."
Yeah, but it wasn't really the drink I wanted. Mostly, I needed an excuse to go past J.D. again. A drink would be a good one. So once I was in the kitchen, I found a plain soda, then headed back - detouring by J.D. in the process.
Leaning in toward his ear, I whispered, "You will wear a tie tonight. A blazer might be better. Trust me."
"Love ya for that," he replied just as softly, and the look in his eyes made me think he was as nervous about this as Tanner was.
But now I knew what I was working with. So, when I reclaimed my spot on the bed, I started pointing with a little authority.
"The lighter jeans," I said. "You'll need your boots too. That suit top thing?"
"Suit coat," Tanner corrected.
"The grey one," I said, pointing. "Not the blazer thing."
"Grey," Tanner agreed.
"That's your outfit. Now, you also need some grey or black underwear. The tight kind, because I'm sleeping here tonight."
"No, you don't - "
I held up a hand, stopping him. "J.D. asked me. I'm good with it." Then I made the gesture for him to spin. "And you two are going to have every woman in Nashville drooling, I think."
"Not looking to impress the women of Nashville," he assured me.
"Ok, then all the not-straight men?" I tried next, clearly teasing him.
He chuckled at that, but was also rummaging for the underwear I'd suggested. "Yeah. You know, I used to daydream about one of these cowboys being bi? I'd try to imagine how it would work, and it never did."
"But you still looked," I pointed out.
"Fuck yeah, I did." He dropped his towel and pulled on some briefs that did great things for his ass. Jeans came next. "J.D. was one - of course. Ty too."
"Both pretty men," I agreed. "Who else? What kind of man do you like, Tanner?"
"Shit." He reached for the shirt and began buttoning it up. "I like broad shoulders and round asses."
"Most of the men in the Pbr fit that criteria," I countered.
"Strong jaws," he added. "That beard J.D. has works for me."
"Yeah, I know what you mean," I agreed. "But like Jake?"
Which made his hands pause as he chuckled. "Yeah, I've daydreamed about Jake a time or two. You?"
I shrugged. "I've been a bit busy to daydream, Tanner."
"And we both know you knew most of these riders before you showed up here and got too busy to gawk. Who'd you think was hot?"
"Ty," I said. "Fuck, I was convinced he was the prettiest man in the world. J.D. was an asshole in my mind. I'd seen his tantrums and knew all about his reputation. To me, that made him more scary than sexy."
"Yeah, I guess that'd be true," he relented. "But he's not."
"No," I agreed, "J.D. isn't scary to those on his side."
"But who else?" he asked. "Make me feel a bit less... bad? Weird about this?"
"Why weird?" I asked.
"Because I'm talking to my girlfriend about what to wear on a date," he reminded me.
"Cody, this isn't my usual sort of thing.
And yes, I've gotten to like our situationship a whole lot.
But sometimes, it still gets me that I don't know the rules to this game.
I can't be sure if I'm fucking it up or being a good man. "
"Definitely a good man," I promised. "And this is our deal, Tanner. Who any of us fucks isn't important. That we talk about it, put each other first, and make the trusting part work? That's what I like."
He pulled open the flap on his jeans and started tucking in his shirt. "Ok, so J.D. and Ty we agree on," he said, clearly getting me back on the topic. "Jake?"
I shrugged. "I honestly never noticed him before Tulsa. I didn't watch his rides or really know anything about him."
"And now he's your new bestie," Tanner reminded me. "Ok, what about Jackson?"
"He's like eighteen!" I shot back. "A kid!"
"Nineteen, but fair," Tanner relented. "Who else?"
"Renato," I said. "Taken as fuck, but still pretty."
"True that," he agreed. "Kaleb's too scrawny. Jaxon - the American one - looks like he's been kicked in the head a few times."
"God, that's the perfect description," I agreed around a giggle. "Wes isn't bad."
"No, I wouldn't kick Wes out of my bed," he agreed. "Dado?"
I shrugged again. "Kinda plain. Um, Gustavo, though..."
"Who is twenty," Tanner teased.
"Hey, that year makes a big difference!" But I waved him off. "He looks older. Granted, two years younger than me doesn't seem as weird as three."
"I can see that." And he started doing up his belt. "Ok, Cody. How do I look?"
"Boots and coat," I told him. "I mean, I think you're hot, but I think you're hot in a Red Bull jersey too."
Which got me another one of those sweet and sexy little smiles Tanner did so well. "You didn't even notice me until you thought I was gay."
"Nope," I said. "I noticed you the moment you looked under my hat, saw I was a woman - and didn't see anything wrong with that. Then you were sweet as you helped me off the dirt?" I waggled a finger in the area of his body. "Yep, that made me notice all of this."
"Really?"
I nodded. "Truth. I can also say it seems I'm more attracted to personality than pecs and high cheekbones - or whatever's supposed to be attractive."
"I think that's a girl thing," Tanner admitted. "For me, hot is hot. I could hate someone and still consider fucking them."
"And you are bigger, stronger, and less slut-shamed than I am. Trust me, a lifetime of hearing nothing but horror stories does make a difference. Cole kinda drove that point home."
"Shit, yeah. I forgot about that," he mumbled. "I guess it's no different than me being nervous about dating women because of my ex and how that blew up with my parents."
"Pretty much," I agreed.
Tanner headed to his bag, digging in it for something else. "So, I guess this means J.D. and I are safe, huh?"
"Yeah," I breathed. "And that still surprises me. Not about you! I mean J.D. I expected the worst from him, but he just kept... Helping? Being so completely open I couldn't find the catch? I don't even know."
"Raw," Tanner offered. "J.D. is completely raw. There's no fancy finish or polished edges. With him, what you see is what you get. Ty? He's a complete player. He knows how to look good, act impressive, and do everything right."
"What about Jake?" I asked. "I mean, I barely know the guy, but I'm hanging out with him tonight, and you are the one who seems to have all the inside info."
"He's a shadow," Tanner told me. "Jake is always in the vicinity of being everything you'd expect, until he isn't. He never apologizes for it.
He doesn't try to make excuses either. He's just the person who is easy to overlook - right up until you realize he's doing his best to be invisib-" He stopped hard. "Fuck, because of his dad."
"Not following," I said.
"His father," Tanner explained, "was one of the biggest record-setters of his generation.
Kinda like the very first J.D. of the Pbr.
Now, J.D. has blown all records out of the water, but Donald Merrill's the president of this whole thing because he was the best for so long.
He made the Pbr, Cody. And if he wants his bastard love-child to stay a secret, he probably doesn't need Jake breaking his records too. "
"Yeah, Merrill seems the type," I agreed. "But what I don't get is why Jake was ok with that."
"Because boys want approval from our dads," Tanner said. "I fucked that up so bad, but it worked out. Mine might be disgusted with me, but yours? Having a man like Dean Jennings act like I'm not a fuckup is that little reassurance I need."
"For what?" I pressed. "What is he reassuring, Tanner? I mean, you're basically perfect, so how can he... I dunno, make you see that? Or prove it? Or whatever it is you're saying?"
"Women get slut-shamed," Tanner explained.
"You're pressured to be pretty and pure.
Men get shamed for not being tough enough, or brave enough, or competent enough, rich enough.
.. Yeah, pretty much just not enough. We're pushed to become 'real men,' but that isn't really a set of qualities that are ever laid out. "
"Be strong, but not cruel," I said, nodding to show I understood. "Be brave, but not stupid. Fuck, but no kids with sluts. Yeah, I can see that."
"And all the shit I got from my father?" Tanner huffed out a dry laugh. "Yeah, Jake is getting it ten times worse. Then, just to add a little salt in his wounds, he'll never be able to meet his father's standards. He can't make the man proud because Jake is a reminder of his father's fuckups."
"No different than me thinking my daddy wanted a son, or that he hated me riding bulls," I realized. "He didn't - either one! - but I was trying so hard to be this thing, and I couldn't quite figure out that he was already proud of me."
"Now take away the pride," Tanner said. "That's what most of the men here are trying to work out."
"The fight," I said, watching him work on his boots. "We take it out on the bulls because it's safe. It's acceptable, but we need to fight something because this thing is screaming in the back of our minds, challenging us to win, and we can't figure out what it is."
"Yeah," Tanner agreed as he reached over for his coat. "Ok. Do I need to try again, or is this ok?"
I took a sip of my drink and looked him over. I didn't glance, and I didn't immediately tell him it was good. Nope, I actually inspected him, knowing how I'd feel if the situation was reversed. Tanner wanted to make J.D. drool, and this was his way of asking me to help him get it right.
But damn. He looked so fucking good. The paler colors made his hair look a little brighter and his eyes stood out because of it. The lavender was definitely working for him, but when I asked him to turn again? Yeah, those jeans were making me have some very dirty thoughts.
"There's one more thing you need," I told him as I screwed the top back on my bottle of soda.
"Tanner, do not be a good boy tonight. Don't avoid letting anyone see you and him being happy.
This? This is your chance to be proud of being J.D.
's boyfriend. Be romantic, because combined with that look?
" I fanned at my face playfully. "You are going to make our man go a little crazy, I think. "
"Yeah?" he asked.
So I slid off the edge of the bed and moved before him. "You look amazing, Tanner." Then I stretched up to kiss him. "And the suit is definitely working for you. Just promise me I'll get to take it off you at some point?"
"Yeah," he said, cupping my face. "That's exactly what I needed. And you can remove it next."