Chapter 52
A heavy thumping on my door woke me. I had to struggle to get my eyes open, then I looked around for my phone. Yeah, I'd find it later.
I almost went back to sleep, but the pounding came again, and harder this time. "Jake!" That was Ty's voice.
"Fuck!" I groaned as I rolled out of bed and headed to the door. Throwing it open, I glared at the man on the other side. "What the fuck do you want?!"
He shoved me back and then walked into my room. "You didn't answer your phone, asshole."
"What?" Where was my phone?
"Where's Cody?" Ty demanded.
"Upstairs." I had no idea where I'd left the thing. Had I even charged it?
I headed back to the bed - not caring that I was wearing nothing but my underwear - and checked the table beside it, but my phone wasn't there.
Starting to get worried, I looked over at the counter the TV was on, but it wasn't there either.
In a last desperate attempt, I found the jeans I'd peeled off last night and checked the pockets.
Oh, thank fuck! There it was!
But Ty was watching me like he didn't understand something. "What do you mean 'upstairs,' Jake?"
So I pointed up at the ceiling. "Cody's in a room on the top floor. Well, next to top? The fucking penthouse suites, Ty. Deviant hooked them up, they have two bedrooms, and I tucked her into one of those beds."
"And?" he asked. "How'd that go?"
"Well, telling J.D. and Tanner when they got home?" I tapped at my screen, getting nothing. Right, I hadn't charged it, so my battery was probably dead. "That was a little exciting."
"And you got things sorted out with her?" he asked.
I found my charger and plugged my phone in. "What?"
"You know," he said, "you and her."
Ok, I was barely awake, but a whole bunch of things were starting to slam together.
That little story the guys had told me last night?
Ty's insistence that I make a move with her?
Cody's reaction to me not kissing her back?
All of those things were there, but they felt like they were trying to stack up, not lock into place.
So I turned to face him. "Did you take her home drunk?"
"Yeah, back in Tulsa. She was trying to sleep in her truck. I mean, it was her first event, so she was new and all. I made sure she had a room to crash in."
"And did a lot more than just sleep?" I pressed.
He shrugged. "I mean, I kissed her a bit. Well, and helped her take a shower."
"You," I told him, pushing past him to get to my bag, "are a dick, Ty."
"What? I didn't fuck her!" he insisted.
I grabbed a pair of clean jeans and pulled them on. "But you groped her, made out with her, and got her naked in the shower?" I asked incredulously. "Fuck, Ty. Consent, man!"
"Well, yeah," he said.
"For all of it!" I snapped.
"Oh." And he dropped onto the edge of the spare bed. "Is she pissed at me?"
"No, but she should be," I told him. "And I didn't kiss her. She kissed me. I stopped her. I talked to her. I took her home and made sure she was ok, and then I told her fucking boyfriends - and J.D. is terrifying when he thinks she's being threatened, so you know."
"You told him you didn't do anything, right?" he asked.
I bent to find a shirt. "No, not that. I fucked up, Ty. I said something about her being theirs, and I thought J.D. was going to find a damned knife in their fancy-ass kitchen and gut me."
"Huh?"
I stood to pull the shirt on, making him wait until I was covered. "Ty, J.D. is crazy. He's unhinged and brags about being a pit bull. Their pit bull." Then I pulled out one of the little chairs beside the half-ass table in here and sank into it. "He's also right."
"And I wasn't there," Ty reminded me. "I came to make sure she's ok, and that everything went fine. Help me out a bit?"
"Call room service and order some coffee," I told him. "My phone's dead, and people wash their underwear in the coffee makers in these rooms. Not drinking someone's skid mark."
"Ok..." He pulled out his phone and started swiping.
While he did that, I scrubbed at my face, trying to get my brain working.
Today was Thursday. I was pretty sure Cody, Tanner, and J.D.
would be resting and recovering before tomorrow's event started.
Likely bracing for things to go bad, too.
Shit, and I needed to make sure they knew I was cool with seeing their make-out session, but that could wait.
I barely had my brain working again before Ty was done. "So?" he asked. "What was J.D. right about?"
"She's not his. She's not Tanner's." I leaned back and stretched out my legs, guessing this was going to be a long talk.
"Their relationship is open because no one owns Cody.
They're with her, sure, but with. They don't own her, make her decisions, or put restrictions on her.
Pretty sure the same works between them, too, but I didn't ask. "
"Ok?" Ty said, sounding as confused about that as I'd felt last night.
But a little sleep added distance between the concept he'd been trying to share and the fear of seeing J.D.
that pissed. "They love her enough to not put her in a cage," I tried to explain.
"Ty, there's three people in that relationship already.
There's no 'faithful' when they're already fucking someone else, so it sounds like they rewrote the rules.
And they did it because they don't own her.
They just trust her - and I heard all about how you fucked up. "
He hung his head. "Yeah. Cheyenne?"
I nodded. "Sounds like. Said you got possessive. I think J.D. went the other way to make up for it, and Tanner's smart enough to follow his lead."
"They're good to her," Ty said. "And yeah, J.D.
's right more often than not. In the harshest way, but still right.
He fucking cut Austin because he grabbed her tits, Jake.
He convinced me to step up and lead because this hazing shit sucks.
And yeah, he used Cody as a reason to convince me, but his point? It's true for all of us."
"Yeah," I agreed.
Thankfully, that was when someone tapped at the door. Ty hopped up to answer it, which I appreciated. When he returned with a carafe of coffee? I almost groaned at the smell of it. I needed some of that.
"Cream?" he asked as he set it on the table and turned over the provided cups. "Sugar?"
"Two of each," I said, watching while he poured. "Ty, why did she kiss me?"
"Cody?" He glanced up, then back to the cups he was fixing up. "Jake, she's a smart woman. She's also learned a lot since she joined this crazy circus. So have I."
"Getting that impression," I assured him.
He slid a cup to me, then took the other chair and pulled the second toward himself.
"I used to think I deserved to get fucked by the pretty women.
I deserved to have them fawn over me. And while I thought it was cool that she was making history as the first woman in the Pbr, I saw it through this.
.. I dunno, lens? It was like all of her accomplishments were supposed to say something about me because she thought I was hot. "
"Dumbass," I teased.
"No shit," he agreed. "But my point? You're not me, Jake. You are a good man. You also didn't get stupid over her because she's blonde, has nice tits and a great ass, or rides like she'd be wild in bed. And yeah, I thought all those things and kinda hate myself for it."
"That's called growth," I told him.
"Hopefully," he muttered. "But now for the real question. Are you into her?"
"Cody?" I asked, even though that was obvious.
Ty gave me a tired look. "No, dipshit. I'm talking about Tanner. Of course I mean Cody."
Yeah, but answering that wasn't easy. Every instinct in my body said to deflect, deny, or defend against it like he was accusing me of something. So I bought myself some time to think by taking a long drink of that coffee.
Then, "I think she got under my skin."
"She does that," he agreed.
"But she's also dating two other men," I pointed out.
"And?" Ty asked. "Pretty sure you've been the 'other man' for a few of those girls you stole from me."
"Fuck off," I said. "I didn't steal them. You lost..." And my words trailed off. "Fuck! J.D.'s right."
Ty gave me a confused look. "What?"
"Your girls," I repeated. "I stole them. You lost them. We're sitting here talking about these women like they're objects, not people! Like they're awards we fucking deserve. Even the damned words we use do that!"
"Which makes it easier to think it's true," he said, sounding like he was having his own epiphany.
"Yeah," I breathed. "And yes, Ty. I do like her. I respect the shit out of Cody, but that's what makes it weird. I see her as my fucking equal, not a girl to pick up. She's..."
He waited, offering nothing while I tried to work this out.
My eyes focused on nothing, thinking over my feelings - which wasn't easy.
I was used to acting on them, not analyzing this shit!
But he sipped from his cup, then I did. After a little too long, I was pretty sure I knew what my problem was.
"I always thought I'd meet a nice girl who'd want to settle down," I said, flicking a finger so he knew I wasn't done.
"I had this idea in my head that fucking was for women I could leave in a heartbeat, and dating was for trying out one I wanted to make mine.
To own. To tame. To possess. No matter how you say it, my entire concept of finding the right girl was based on my approving of her, not the other way around. "
"I can see that," he agreed.
"But Cody isn't like that," I continued.
"She's not looking for my approval, and that changes the balance of power.
She has men she's happy with, and it means she's not going to be begging for my attention.
She's independent, and while I like that in women, it was more of a thing to give me space, and not so much about her being a whole person, you know?
I mean, on one hand, I knew she was, but on the other hand, I looked at it from these ideals I had.
Ones that were all about her being mine in the end. "
"Yep," Ty said. "I'm right there with you."
"And J.D. just tuned me in," I realized. "One little rant, and he's made me realize why I was keeping my distance from her. It was because she doesn't fit in the stupidly easy rules I'd accepted without even questioning."
"But are you going to do anything about that kiss?" he asked. "Jake, you like her. Fuck, you wouldn't talk about her, and fight for her, and pay her damned fines if you weren't into her."
"Well, I paid her fines to piss off Don - er, my father," I reminded him. "But no, you're right."
"So?" he asked.
I shook my head, not sure what he was asking this time.
"Are you going to make a move with that woman, or not?" he clarified. "And trust me, Jake, you're a dumbass if you say no."
"Trying to live vicariously?" I asked, only half joking.
But he shook his head. "Nope. If I'm honest, I'm kinda trying to fix what I fucked up. I'm trying to be a real friend to her. And this? I think this is the one thing I can help her with right now."
"Me?"
He nodded. "Making sure the guy with a crush on her isn't too chickenshit to take a risk and see what can happen. I mean, you didn't kiss her. I did. That means you're already better for her than I was."
"And makes me think you're a hell of a lot better man now than you were back in Tulsa," I told him. "You're also putting me to shame."
"Nope," he said. "I'm still learning. You are too, but I figure there's a reason you're my arch neblesis.
I mean, someone has to give you a kick in the ass, right?
And trust me, Cody Jennings is not the woman you want to let get away, because she will.
She will walk right out of your life and leave you hating yourself for it. "
"Like she did to you?" I asked.
"Yeah," he breathed. "Because for that short time she kept me around?" He smiled a bit to make it clear he was changing his language intentionally. "She knocked me out of the rut I'd fallen into. She convinced me that 'good enough' isn't good enough. Jake, that woman really is worth the risk."
"Yeah," I agreed, thinking back to the feel of her pink shirt in my hands, the smell of her hair, and how blue her eyes had been when they'd landed on me. "But am I?"
"Make sure you are," Ty said. "That's how we become good men."