CHAPTER 10
Matthew
I was right- the same night they burnt the Fleshbinder- thanks to Stryker, who had returned with a deep gash in his side but a proud grin on his face, claiming to have been the one to track it down and knock it to the ground- and the next morning we left the town and headed back to Zeltron.
There, part of the group, including me and Jack, left with Johnathan’s soldiers to follow to Draelon, and commander Roberts, promised more would arrive the next day.
Me and Jack kept our distance from the others, mostly because he was worried about me.
Honestly, I couldn’t even bring myself to try and convince him that I was fine, because I felt like hell warmed over.
My body burned and the seasickness hadn’t done me any favours.
What also wasn’t doing me any favours was the knowledge that I’d be seeing Theo every day since we’d been placed in the same unit as him.
How was I supposed to control the insane urge to slam him against the wall every day? Fuck my life.
The room was nice. Jack was grinning ear to ear because there was a sofa in it; I couldn’t muster any particular glee, mainly because my head was spinning, my legs were trembling beneath me and I was feeling woozy.
“I’m gonna have a shower.” I told him meekly, hoping it would somehow help.
Jack, sprawled on his bed, mumbled “feeling okay? You disinfected your wounds?”
“Yeah.” I lied hastily, backing out into the hallway.
The shower room was just opposite ours, lined with at least ten; I peeled off my clothes, grumbling as the movement pulled on my injuries, and completely avoided looking down at myself, opting for stepping directly into the cold spray of water, hissing.
It stung, but it made me feel less gritty.
I briefly allowed myself to imagine showering with Danes and fucking him against the shower wall as he moaned my name like he had the other night- my dick began hardening at the very thought before I shook myself- what was wrong with me?
-and cranked the heat up. It took seconds for my vision to begin to cloud.
I blinked, brows furrowing. That was weird.
I sucked in a few deep breaths, but it wasn’t helping- I still felt faint. My heart rammed against my chest as I tried and failed to turn the water off, black dots swarming my vision.
My body throbbed. Fuck. Fuck.
“Jack?” I yelled, praying he’d be able to hear my through the closed doors “Jack!” I attempted to scramble my way out of the spray of steaming water; instead, my knees buckled and I fell, a loud bang echoing as I did.
Jack barged in. I faintly heard him curse before the water stopped streaming; he crouched, his face swimming in and out of focus.
“Matt? What happened?”
“I- I don’t know.”
I could feel his gaze burning my skin. “These are infected.” He mumbled “fuck, Matt, already?”
I groaned. As if it were my fault. I was the one stark naked on the shower floor in front of my best friend with zero ability to pull myself back up, as if I’d wanted this.
“Come on.” He sighed, pulling one of my arms over his shoulder and dragging me to my feet after him. I swayed where I stood, vision clouded.
“You’re okay.” He mumbled, forcing a towel into my hand “put that around yourself. We’re gonna have to go to the healers.”
“I’m-“
“Don’t you dare tell me you're fine.”
I whined in protest but did as I was told; it wasn’t exactly like I was in top shape to argue.
As expected, I was fine- well, the very kind, young, dark skinned trainee had tutted and told me to be more careful with myself, but ultimately she’d given me some kind of ointment which she was currently rubbing into the scars on my face and told me to sit a few days out and that was it; my dizziness had passed, so I was now perched on the edge of the bed, shirtless and, according to Jack, about the same colour as the white sheets.
Now that he wasn’t worried anymore he was leaning back in the chair he was sitting on by my bed, arms crossed and grin plastered onto his face.
I had to stop myself from gaping when Theo shuffled into the room.
“Well…you’re the last person I was expecting to see.” I remarked, brows furrowed, after a moment of silence.
The healer mindlessly got back to work as the lad shifted where he stood “okay.” He settled on replying, tone gruff.
Jack huffed out a chuckle “okay.” He smirked back “and you are here because…?”
“Heard Matthew’s wounds got infected.” He mumbled with the face of someone who was kind of wishing the floor would open up and swallow him whole.
“No need to fret about me, Danes.” I smirked, though I felt like it had more resemblances to a grimace and Theo’s gaze drifted down to the thankfully empty bucket by my bed.
“Hm. That what Stryker meant when he said you’d felt ill?”
“What he meant.” Jack supplied, glaring at me “was that he almost passed out in the shower. Fucking idiot.”
“I didn’t mean to.” I scoffed back insolently, scowling.
“Like you didn’t mean to forget to disinfect them?”
“I obviously didn’t mean to.”
“All done.” The healer said cheerfully.
She turned away from me and Theo grinned.
“Octavia.” He greeted, tone shifting to something warmer than what I was used to.
I tracked their interaction with rapidly shifting eyes.
She blinked in surprise “you got in?” She asked, voice rising a pitch to express her shock.
“Likewise.” He chuckled.
“Huh.” She limited herself to saying, smiling back at him “well, good luck. Hope I won’t have to patch you up.”
“Can’t make any promises.” He grinned “but I’ll try to stay out of trouble.”
“Sure.” She drawled, rolling her eyes fondly and striding past him.
“Fuck buddy?” I asked distantly, fighting to keep any hints of jealousy out of my voice, following Octavia with my gaze.
Theo’s eyebrows shot up at the question “no.” He replied simply.
Jack shot me an odd look. I realised that that may have sounded weird and cleared my throat awkwardly.
“How long are you out for?” Theo asked, tilting his head at me.
“Dunno. Not too long.” Another stern look from Jack, and my shoulders dropped in defeat “two weeks.” A downright glare “maybe more. They’ll probably put me on border patrol or…paperwork.”
Theo laughed. “That sucks.”
“I know.” I replied grimly as I pushed myself to my feet, Jack following suit, clearly scared I’d collapse again, which I wouldn’t “but I’ve been discharged, so…see you around.”
I caught Theo checking me out again before forcing his eyes upwards to meet mine and nodding once “sure.”
I smirked but didn’t mention it.
I fell asleep on the sofa in the lounge whilst everyone else was training.
I was rudely awoken some indefinite amount of time later by a voice whispering my name.
“Matt.” It called tauntingly “oh, Matt, wakey wakey, rise and shine.”
I stirred, blearily blinking my hazel eyes open and searching the room with them, landing on the ever present blue eyed Theo.
“Danes.” I greeted with a small frown “you’re back early. I think.”
He ignored me and bent over to begin removing his boots.
“Wanted some alone time with me?” I couldn’t resist pushing.
Theo scowled, shaking his head in disbelief
“Fuck you.”
I waggled my eyebrows suggestively.
He glared.
I shifted, wincing when the movement tugged on the scars on my side before whispering “nobody’s here.”
“And?”
“We could. Fuck.”
Theo visibly bristled. “Why would I want to do that?”
“Because you can’t resit me. Duh.”
“You…” he clenched his jaw. He wanted to. I could see that he wanted to, it was written all over his face, clear as day. But he was conflicted.
I knew why. I’d been there. He didn’t want to like a boy. I didn’t want to like someone who suffered from internalised homophobia as much as Theo appeared to, but here we were.
I stood from the sofa, stuffing my hands in the pockets of my sweatpants.
Theo licked his lips nervously “well, I…”
When I stepped closer, he stepped back.
I raised an eyebrow and took another step, Theo did too, arm shooting out as if his hand could do anything to halt my approach. I paused, gaze flickered between his eyes and his lips.
“You scared of me, Danes?” I asked, tone softer than I’d intended it to be.
“No.” He snapped, slowly lowering his arm back to his side and jutting his chin, folding his arms over his chest.
“No?” I repeated, taking another half step forward. Theo stayed rooted to the spot this time, though he did lean back a little.
I stopped moving. “I won’t rape you, y’know.” I ran a hand through my waves, brow furrowing, feeling slightly alarmed that he’d think that “I wouldn’t…I’m joking. Sorry.”
Theo seemed taken aback, like I’d said something strange. “I-I know.” He stammered, finding his voice again, lowering his gaze to the floor. Embarrassed. He was embarrassed.
“You know…” I licked my lips uncertainly, hovering where I stood “we could forget about this.”
“Huh?” Theo snapped his head back up, confused.
“What happened that night.” I swallowed hard “if it makes you…uncomfortable, we can just…forget about it. We’re in the same group so…so we should try to get along. And we kind of don’t. So if it’s-“
“I can’t forget about it.” Theo said, body tense “how can I forget about it?”
My shoulders lifted and dropped again in a small, apologetic shrug “I’m just trying to say I don’t usually argue with people. Don’t like it much. So if we can…if we can fix this, it’d be great.” It was true.
A million emotions flashed across his face.
“We’re cool then.” He grumbled eventually, once he’d realised that he’d been silent for a few beats too long “no need to cry about it.”
Unbelievable. That wasn’t my definition of being cool with someone.
“You don’t, uh…sound very convinced.” I pointed out, rubbing my jaw in discomfort.
Before I could process what was happening, Theo took three steps forward to close the distance between us and slammed his lips onto mine.