CHAPTER 28
Matthew
The battle was like every other battle I’d ever taken part in. Loud, bloody, chaotic, unpleasant.
My horse bolted halfway through.
I was subconsciously keeping an eye on Theo, just to make sure that he was alright- he was, of course, but it was never a certainty in these situations.
I only lost sight of him when Stryker and Jack appeared before me; Jack had a grimace plastered onto his face, Stryker looked a mix of worried and frustrated.
“He’s…got a fucking migraine.” He hissed as I slashed at a Stadal soldier who was getting too close to us. I spun back round towards them in disbelief “and you decided to fight? I growled at my partner “are you thick?”
Jack glared at me, though it was more of a grimace than anything.
“Need to get him away from here.” Stryker mumbled “I…tell John if he asks, okay?”
“Yeah, yeah.” I mumbled, nodding quickly “go.”
That was the last I saw of them.
The battle kept on going- I was stabbing, ducking, lunging- and dusk was falling when it finally ended; Stadal retreated back to the safety of their kingdom’s walls.
The first thing I did was begin yanking my armour off, the second was seeking out Theo.
The anxiety I’d been feeling faded when I finally caught sight of him; he was turning his head around, eyes wide as he surveyed the bodies around him, the blood dampening the earth, the smell pungent in the air. Something was bothering him more than just the scene, I could tell.
He whirled around once more, only to make contact with my chest, slamming right into it and causing me to stagger back a few steps.
He snapped his gaze upwards, relaxing when he clocked on to who it was- giving me the opportunity to analyse him up close, too.
His face was streaked with blood and dirt, much like my own, but he seemed otherwise unharmed.
He was okay. Theo was okay. Theo was here. Thank god he was okay.
“Take that off.” I mumbled, trying to break the silence that had fallen along with the intensity of his stare, fiddling with the metal that covered him.
“You okay? Did you get hurt?” I asked quietly, just to be sure.
Theo shook his head, head turning as he seemed to snap out of his trance and he searched his surroundings once more. I was curious to know what exactly he was looking for. There was nothing but death here.
“Theo-“
His gaze was unfocused, glazed over with what strikingly resembled panic.
I frowned, running a hand through Theo’s hair “hey. It’s over. We’re okay.”
He just nodded absently.
I rubbed a hand over his chest, rising and falling at a frantic rhythm “Theo. Breathe. Slowly.”
When he didn’t react, I pressed a kiss to his forehead, then his chest, trying to find some way to ground him “Theo.”
He blinked, sucking in a breath.
“You need to relax. You're gonna give yourself a heart attack.”
“I won’t.”
“Deep breath for me?”
Theo inhaled, then exhaled, then repeated.
I nodded slowly, encouragingly “you're burning.” I informed him quietly “you need to calm down. It’s over.”
“I know.”
“You need to relax,” I repeated, pressing a kiss to his shoulder and embracing him, resting my hand on the nape of his neck and caressing the spot with my thumb.
His chest was pressed against mine and whilst my heartbeat was steady, beating in it’s usual rhythm, I could feel Theo’s, pounding and unnecessarily fast.
“Can you do that for me? Just breathe. Slowly. Like that, yeah, that’s it.”
Theo lowered his head, pressing his face into my shoulder and breathing in deeply.
“Okay.” I murmured “we’ll…Stryker and Jack will be here soon.”
“Mh.”
“You good now? Not scared anymore, right?” I asked after a long moment of just holding him.
Theo sniffled “wasn’t scared.” He whispered “was with you.”
The words warmed my chest. I opened my mouth to summon a response when something seemed to register to him and he began panicking all over again.
From the looks of him it hit him so hard it was nauseating; he slid down to the ground into a crouch, shaky hands holding my calves, nails digging into my flesh in an attempt to anchor himself, bowing his head as he tried to get his breathing under control.
“Theo?” I asked gently, hand resting on his shoulder blade as I tried to stay calm for his sake, tried to understand what was going on even as his panic began to grow infectious “hey-“
“They have Stryker.”
Theo was pacing the scrap of clearing they’d been commanded to attend at, nervous, frazzled.
Johnathan seemed stressed as ever, shaking- actually shaking- Jack’s shoulders, ordering him to repeat the story of how the events had gone down for the third time.
The poor lad seemed on the verge of being sick, though if that was because of his own concern or the pounding ache in his head was unclear. Probably both, if I’d learnt anything about his migraines in the time I’d known him.
“What can we do?” Alex was muttering to Nico “we don’t know where they’ve taken him. Where the prisons are.”
He kept looking over at me- I wanted to comfort him, to offer him some kind of reassurance, kiss him, but we couldn’t afford to do that right now, amongst the others, and that, if anything, made me feel even worse.
“We’ll have to go back home.” I heard my voice mumble to the others without fully registering my words or even realising they were mine; I felt oddly detached from reality, “get a plan together. There’s nothing we can do in these conditions.”
Theo winced. I knew it wasn’t what he wanted to hear. Stryker could be dead for all we knew.
“I’m sorry.” He swallowed hard, turning his face away “I- he was right next to me, I shouldn’t have let him go alone-“
“Hey.” I leaned forward, moving towards him “hey, don’t…don’t do that.” I positioned myself in front of him, taking his jaw in my hand “that’s not how a battle works. You can’t be looking out for other people.”
“I-“
I silenced him by tugging him away, pulling him behind a nearby tree and pressing a soft kiss to his lips “shh.” I hummed, guiding his head to my chest.
Theo sniffled, pressing his cheek against it, tears prickling at his eyes.
“It’s scary.” I hummed “I know.”
“No.” He shook his head “it’s- I don’t- it’s-”
“I know.”
“It’s my fault.”
“No.” I took his face in my hands and wiped his tears away with my thumb, kissing him again “how could you say that?”
“I-I…” Theo let out a shuddering breath “I didn’t-”
“No.” I repeated “we’re gonna go home and we’re gonna put a plan together. He’ll be fine.”
“Okay.” Theo whispered.