Chapter XXXII #2
Vic swallowed. “I thought I was gonna die,” she whispered. “I think I might have.”
“You didn’t,” he growled, as if the prospect made him angry.
Vic must not have looked convinced, because Xan held her face tighter, his grip almost bruising and his eyes intense as they locked upon hers.
“Listen to me,” he said through his teeth. “You did not die.”
But she’d come so close to death it glittered on her skin. A cold weight settled on her like snow and all she could think was the hypothetical. What if she hadn’t woken up? What if that was the end? What if, what if, and a million regrets.
Vic turned her face to kiss the inside of Xan’s palm. She watched his eyes as she did it, saw the heat in them, the fire.
“Vic,” he said, warning in his voice.
Her lips moved against the rough skin of his palm. His other hand closed around the back of her head, holding her there.
The last time they were alone she’d run from this look in Xan’s eyes—like he wanted her, like he needed her.
For the first time in Vic’s life someone had put her first. She’d felt treasured, and it terrified her.
She’d fled the castle because of that look.
It beckoned her closer while he sent her away, and it woke a part of Vic that had lain dormant for a long, long time.
It was a promise of pain to come, because needing someone the way Xan invited her to need him would only leave Vic alone, abandoned, watching a closed door and waiting for someone who would never come home.
But she’d almost died today. It didn’t matter what Xan said; a part of her had died.
The cowardly part, she hoped. And tonight she wanted to be brave.
She wanted to want. She wanted to let herself be carried away by the wanting, taken somewhere she didn’t have to think and fear and worry about everyone and everything all the time.
As soon as the thought occurred to Vic it ran from her, like a car speeding downhill with no brakes, and she was along for the ride.
What Vic wanted, she did not know. But she wanted it more than anything.
It gnawed at her insides how badly she wanted it, how badly she needed to feel alive right now.
She became a creature made of want, and her mind was not hers anymore.
The drapes on the window across from Vic caught fire.
The hand around the back of Vic’s head tightened, and maybe Xan meant to let her go, but she went toward him like he’d called for her. She missed his mouth, so she kissed his face. Xan grunted under his breath, and maybe he spoke, but Vic wasn’t listening.
She felt a spray of mist on her left side as the flaming curtains were extinguished. She smelled smoke, but she didn’t care.
Xan made a sound like a groan of pain as Vic’s lips scoured his cheek, and his fingers closed around the back of her neck.
She kissed his cheekbones, the bearded skin of his jaw, moving too fast for finesse but intent on touching everything she could.
She was desperate by the time she found his mouth.
Her front teeth hit his when Xan parted his lips, and their tongues collided.
She felt his exhale against her own, and she wanted to sigh, but she couldn’t spare an instant away from him.
Vic’s hands, shaking, moved over his body of their own accord, as if she could grab all of this man, fold him up and hold him inside her.
She felt the muscles on top of his shoulders, which were hard and stern, and let her hands slide down his chest, exploring with an urgency completely foreign to her.
Before she knew what she was doing Vic had climbed on top of him. She straddled him, pressing her hips against his like she could mold the two of them together by sheer force of will.
Xan made a sound in the back of his throat at the movement, and Vic felt her hips roll.
She pulled his bottom lip between her teeth, and he swore.
And then Vic wasn’t the only one moving. The hand behind her neck tugged her forward, crushing their mouths together. Xan deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue into her mouth with a fervor that matched her own, and Vic felt her hips buck under her.
She was rubbing herself against him, moving fast like she would die right here, right now, if she stopped moving for even an instant. Xan was hard underneath her, and he groaned into her open mouth as she moved.
A strong arm slid behind her back and ground Vic’s chest against his.
He said her name under his breath, and it sounded like a curse.
Was he scared, too? Vic wondered. Did he feel more alive right now than he had in years?
Vic might have said his name; she might have said any number of things.
She wasn’t paying attention. All she could think about was the pressure building between them.
Two people alone in a dark room, doing things they should have done weeks ago.
His voice rumbled against her mouth, speaking garbled words where their tongues tangled.
His breath was a hum against hers, his energy meeting and expanding on hers, and Vic was overwhelmed by the newness.
Everything she could remember paled in comparison to the heightened tension in her muscles, the demand running over her nerves.
She was on fire, and the burn felt better than anything else could.
There was a roaring in her ears, a sound like a freight train bearing down on them, and Vic was going up and up and up to the edge. With a grind of his hips and a squeeze of the muscled arm behind her back, Xan pushed her off it.
The orgasm hit her like a blow, and all the muscles in her neck were tight and long as she weathered it.
All around her Vic heard crashing, and she wasn’t sure what was real and what wasn’t.
Her head fell back as she felt, for the second time that day, that she was in the process of being rewritten.
Xan’s face pressed against the crook of her neck, and he made an agonized sound against her skin as he followed Vic over the edge. She had a handful of his hair in her fist, and Vic kissed the side of his neck as he came.
He stayed against her neck as both of their breaths fell heavy and hard, slowing as they waited for the wave to ebb. The furious energy that had overrun Vic calmed, and she forced her fingers to open, dropping the stranglehold she had on his hair.
Xan raised his eyes to meet hers. They were flaring now, full of magic. Bright and alive, and Vic wondered what her own looked like at that moment.
She moved back, away from him, and Xan helped her to the ground until she sat, and he pulled his arm away from Vic’s back slowly, like he wanted to stay there.
Vic noticed the wonder on his face, a mild kind of confusion, and she understood that they both were surprised at their own loss of control.
She blinked in the sight of the room around them as her thoughts began to clear. The window on the opposite wall was shattered, and the ceiling had caved in behind a heavy desk, dusting everything around them with broken stone.
“Did I do that?” Vic whispered, her voice rough.
Slowly, Xan nodded, his eyes still locked on her face.
From the distance came the unmistakable sound of a human scream.