8. Joy
JOY
“She deserves to know who I am.”
- DAHLIA’S PRIVATE LETTERS.
The sun crested the mountains and the moon disappeared. There was rarely a time that Kia wasn’t bathed in light. The sun burned my retinas as Jameson and I returned to the ship in the early hours of the morning. Almost everyone had already returned home, for the first time ever, Jameson and I were late. The boat swayed calmly as it always did, the ocean more inviting than I’d ever seen it.
I slumped onto the tattered armchair, letting the open air and sun warm my skin. I closed my eyes, memories of last night littered my mind, Jameson and I drinking, dancing, both of us not ready to return to reality. I looked down at my orange dress and cringed, I had been wearing this for almost twenty-four hours. I stood but my head began to spin and the colors around me burst and shrunk.
“Are you alright, Joy?” Jameson called out, noticing my frozen posture. I nodded, turned on my heel and began to run.
But I stayed in the same place, running in almost slow motion as Jameson watched, his mouth moving but no words coming out.
“Joy!” he called as I sprinted and suddenly fell to the ship floor and hit my head.
I woke with a jolt, my body bathed in sunlight and morning dew. Swiping at my damp cheeks, I sat hastily and winced, my back ached from sleep on the deck and my head felt heavy. For a moment I had forgotten Jameson had been taken, I had forgotten about the horror of the night before. A sigh sounded beside me as Dahlia awoke slowly, her body slowly uncurling from the fetal position she spent the night in. We had spent the previous evening planning. Supplies, maps, crew, possible dangers, and navigation. We planned into the early hours of the morning, until our heads began to droop, and our eyes closed softly.
A tremor snaked down my spine.
Today we would set sail for the Northern Continent. Dahlia did not enclose any details other than; we were heading north. The lack of control slowly began to eat at me, I was the captain of this ship, this was my home. It was horrifically hard to tell the crew they could not join us on our search. It was too dangerous, too risky. I couldn’t survive another loss.
“Jameson is our family too,” Romy’s voice was harsh and bitter. “I don’t care if you are the captain of the ship!”
“Romy, please, I need to know that you will keep the others safe,” I said weakly.
“Joy, if you do this,” he stepped closer to me. “I will never forgive you!” he shouted.
The twins were crying behind him, their almost white skin ashen and grey. I looked back at Dahlia, her head down, tying a knot at the base sails. But I knew she was listening. Heat crawled up my neck and onto my cheeks. I reached for Romy, but he flinched away, turning towards the cabin door. His fists curled and uncurled over and over.
“Bring him home, Joy,” he whispered. Relief washed over me softly and I took and deep breath.
“I will, Romy.” He turned back towards me. “I promise.”
We took large strides towards each other, embracing in the middle. I wrapped myself around him softly. Despite him being my elder I had spent the last nine years watching over him. He was the fourth member of our family, back when Lolita, Jameson, and I were sailing around the world, without any worries or fears. I could almost hear the laughter and feel the cold water of the northern continent. I sighed in Romy’s arms.
“Take care of them, Romy,” I said as we parted, looking over at the rest of my crew. He nodded.
Lila, Tuppen, Kassy, and Lacy stood in a small semi-circle. I wished with my entire heart that Lolita was here to help me say goodbye. I prayed to Kai’d, begging her to deliver me safely back to my family. I hugged each of them, squeezing them tight.
It would keep me strong.
I would stay strong for them.
I would bring back Jameson and we would sail away.
Setting the world on fire as we go.
The sun was on its assent into the sky when I wound in the anchor and opened the sails. The sound was like coming home. Like welcoming me back to a place I had almost forgotten. We hadn’t set sail since we lost Lolita. I hadn’t seemed right to do it without her. Our boat creaked and ached, moving forward for the first time in months.
“Are you ready captain?” Dahlia’s voice was entirely too bright and jolly. I rolled my eyes.
“Do not mistake your presence on this ship for trust or want,” I stalked towards her. “You are here as a map and nothing else.”
Her face fell ever so slightly but recovered quickly.
“The journey is going to seem much longer if you refuse to talk to me, Joy!” she shouted.
Anger wrapped around me. How did she not understand? I was in this mess because of her! I was alone again because of her. For a moment, I wished for my father’s patience and my mother’s guidance. I had not seen their faces in almost ten years, but I remembered them completely.
My father’s dark skin covered with even darker tattoos. His eyes an unearthly golden yellow much like my own. My mother was beautiful. Her creamy brown skin marred with scars from a past she refused to talk about. Her hair sat in dreadlocks, brushing the bottom of her back, she would intertwine shells and stones within the strands, making her look like a mermaid from deep in the ocean.
My mother and father had a love that belonged in novels. I always dreamt of having that kind of love and I did. Lolita loved me just like my father had loved my mother. We belonged in a novel; we deserved more time than we were given.
We were robbed.
Just like my parents were.
Dahlia coughed behind me, shaking me from my thoughts.
“Are you ready?” Dahlia asked and I nodded.
I stared at the soft blue of the horizon, closing my eyes, and imagining it was Lolita and I going to save Jameson.
Not some traitor I could never trust.
The boat heaved forward, jerking us around before settling softly on the waves. Sighing, I let myself worry one more time, before folding my concerns away and slipping them into my pocket. I needed to focus.
I would bring my Jameson home.
Anyone that got in my way, would meet the end of a sword.