21. Joy
JOY
“What happened that day? When the sun died, and the waves stilled?”
- FLORENCE
The sky was black, darker than the sea floor. Erin and Jodie sailed better than anyone I had ever met, they swooped around the ship, swinging on ropes, and tying unbreakable knots. The ship rocked, salty ocean water spilling onto our decks. Despite our trip through the markets, we had nothing to protect us from the rain. Our first day sailing had suddenly become a very wet one. As each drop of frosty water burned my skin, I stared at the achingly melancholy sky, and I couldn’t help but think of Jameson. He loved the rain and he constantly complained about the lack of it in Dayra.
“When are we sailing back to the Northern Continent?” he’d asked me the day before Kai’d, the day before he was taken, and everything changed. I smiled softly at him; he was the only person I could truly be soft with. To the rest of the world, I had to be brave, calm, and strong, but Jameson never cared about those things; only that I was happy.
“A week after Kai’d,” I told him. “I thought we would wait until rainy season has begun.” His smile split his face in half, the sun bounced off his golden hair as he leaned back in the broken armchair, his face tilted to the heavens. We had not yet been to the Northern Continent without Lolita; she was the one who knew the path we had to take.
“I wonder if Romy has even glanced at his map yet?” I asked, thinking out loud. Jameson lowered his head so that our gazes met.
“He says he has, I don’t know why he won’t just let us look at it.” Jameson walked over to the edge of the boat where I stood. “That is if you believe a word that comes out of his mouth.” He laughed, nudging me with his elbow.
“Are you not excited to get out of this heat?” he asked me.
“You’re the one of us who is actually from the Northern Continent, you can’t handle sun, and I…” I tied my curls into a messy knot on the top of my head, “can’t handle the cold.”
“The rain isn’t always cold, you know, sometimes it’s warm, refreshing.” It was my turn to nudge him and his silly response.
“Are you alright?” Florence caught me standing in the middle of the ship’s deck, my head tilted toward the clouds as I let myself be soaked by freezing rainwater. I nodded.
Since our crew was extremely small, we anchored during the night, letting us all get our well needed rest. It would add a few days, maybe even a week onto our trip, much to my dismay, but I would have been no use to Jameson if I could not even hold a sword. The sisters passed out as soon as their heads hit the pillows. Their bodies shoved together on one of the only two beds. Florence and I shuffled into the other bedroom, tripping lightly as the ship rocked dramatically.
Our shoulders brushed slightly, and I leapt away from the touch, ignoring the warmth that spread across my body. The ship rocked again, and we bumped against each other.
But this time I didn’t jump away. Instead, I actually leaned into her touch ever so slightly. Relishing in the feel of her skin against mine. She sighed deeply, a sound that reminded me of relief, of comfort.
We stood next to each other, swaying back and forth slowly with the movement of the ship.
A stick snapped in the fire that sat in the corner of the room. Pulling us from each other immediately.
“I’ll sleep on the floor.” Florence’s voice was rushed and thick. Why was there only one bed? I cursed Kai’d inwardly, feeling as though I was in a romance novel or something.
“Don’t be ridiculous, we both need a decent night’s rest,” my heartbeat quickened.
Icy water dripped down my back, it was as though my entire body was frozen from the inside out. Florence shook beside me, her teeth chattering ever so slightly. We were grown women, surely, we could share a bed without it causing a problem.
“Florence,” I stated loudly. “Take off those wet clothes, your chattering teeth are starting to make me feel colder.”
She laughed, and we shared a small smile. The hatred I felt for Florence had started melted away slowly, a little more every day. She was scared and alone, I understood what it meant to feel that way. I turned from her and began peeling off my wet tunic. My wet hair slapped against my back and I gasped loudly.
“Are you alright?” I felt Florence’s hand against my bare shoulder.
My skin warmed around her touch.
I nodded, sucking in a deep breath.
“Just not used to the cold.”
She pulled away her hand and my skin began to freeze again. When my breathing returned to normal, I opened the wonky draws next to the bed and pulled out two large shirts, clearly belonging to sailors that lived here last.
“I hope this is okay,” I said, throwing Florence one of the shirts. I couldn’t help looking at her bare skin, the deep brown seemed to be everywhere and nowhere at all once. I longed to reach out and touch it. Faint scars littered her skin, her now braided hair falling to the middle of her back. She pulled the shirt over her head and her naked skin was gone.
I swallowed against my dry throat, picking up a spare blanket to dry my braids. We stood in silence, both of us dressed in large shirts falling only to the tops of our thighs. I cleared my throat.
“Do you have, uh… an…” Florence pointed to the bed awkwardly.
“A preferred side?” I laughed slightly at her mumbling. She nodded, laughing along with me. I patted the sheets on the left side, instantly regretting the weird decision to pat the bed sheets.
What was I, an eighty-year-old woman?
“Good, I sleep on the right,” she spoke, touching the sheets as awkwardly as I had.
“Oh, how lucky!” My voice sounded too loud and too enthusiastic.
We stared at each other again. I knew she was waiting for me to get beneath the covers first, but I couldn’t. Not straight away. I hadn’t shared a bed with anyone, never mind someone… like Florence, since Lolita died. Sliding beneath the blanket felt like I was losing a small part of her. I flipped my braid over my neck and squared my shoulders.
Lifting the blanket, I slipped between the soft fabrics. Resting my damp head on the pillow. I had forgotten how long it had been since I had a good night sleep. I closed my eyes, faintly hearing the sound of Florence sliding between the sheets.
Our knees touched beneath the sheets but neither one of us pulled away. I knew we were touching and she knew we were touching, but both of us were going to pretend otherwise. She hummed a goodnight, but I did not have the chance to answer, for sleep pulled me away and I let it.
I felt the drool against my chin before the I saw the sun peaking though the thin curtains, the ship rocked gently, and the gulls called to one and another. It was, coincidentally, the kind of sleep you dreamed about, and I knew that once I sat up, I’d feel the imprint of my pillow on my cheek. I wriggled softly, feeling something heavy upon my waist and I turned swiftly.
It was an arm, Florence’s arm to be exact.
She must have rolled in her sleep and latched on to me for warmth, or maybe she was dreaming of someone else and had mistaken my body for theirs.
Something sharp twisted in my gut.
I hated myself for enjoying her touch. I had vowed that I would not touch another until I met Lolita in the next life… if I met her. I stared at Florence, unable to look away. Her braids, finally dry, fell around her neck and face.
She sighed deeply, her leg sliding over mine. My breathing hitched. I reminded myself that she was asleep and completely unaware of what she was doing.
Right.
Breathe.
Inhale. Exhale.
The large shirt had ridden up in her sleep, showing her deliciously black thighs and soft stomach. A ring pierced through her belly button. I fought the urge to reach out and touch it.
“Do you like it?” Florence’s croaky voice startled me, my eyes shot to hers, but she didn’t move away from me.
“Sor-ry,” I stuttered. She laughed lightly, like the soft sea foam that sat atop the water.
“Don’t be.” She rolled the ring around her fingers.
“Did it hurt?” I looked at the piercing again.
“Not really.” She turned, lying flat on her back. “Every one of my friends has one, it was like a rite of passage.” She smiled softly as if remember her life before Captain Harlow and the crew.
“It’s something that bound us together.” She looked at me, our gaze never breaking. “We believed that sharing not only love, but also pain, brought us closer together.”
I watched her toy with the belly button ring, her bare fingernails stark again her dark skin.
“Where are they now?” I asked, turning to lie on my back, staring at the swaying ceiling above us. She swallowed the dryness in her throat. Her gaze darted from mine.
“They’re… here and there,” she almost whispered and I nodded. “They burnt our village to the ground a few years ago, some children were being taken away or some just killed, my mother got us out but we couldn’t all stay together. It was too risky.”
“Were they searching… were they searching for Sorcerers in your village?” I asked softly, Florence nodded.
“My mother, father, and I fled to the Northern Continent to escape the pillaging, but it only followed us there.”
“You lived in the Northern Continent?” I sat up, and Florence mirrored my position.
“Yes, we moved right after the attack.”
“I am so sorry, Florence, I do not understand why they would target your village and make you suffer.” My head dropped into my hands.
“Because it was true.” She shrugged softly, her eyes never meeting mine. “They were searching for Sorcerers and my family were the perfect targets. We are Sorcerers, Joy.” Her chest heaved at her honestly.
“I am a Sorcerer, Joy.”