31. Raya
RAYA
“This cannot continue. They must give each other up!”
- EZRA TO HER HUSBAND, JONAS
Ithought of the flower, now probably dead and drooping, while sitting on my bed. Nai had rolled my hair in hot rings and left me to change into the new dress. It laid flatly on the desk, daring me to put it on. I hated the thought of letting Khol down, but I hated the thought of letting myself down even more.
He had no right to speak to me as though I was a child, but I understood his concern. I was being thoughtless. So lost in my own power that I let myself forget. I had let myself forget about my real reasons for being at The Temple. The letter sat unsent in the top draw. I could have brought to town when we shopped for the dress. I could have slipped into in a messenger’s satchel on ten separate occasions, but I did not.
I could not.
A soft knock sounded on the door and Nai slipped through.
“You’re not dressed!” she stated. I smiled and laughed softly.
She scurried to the desk and held the gown in her hands as though it was The Goddess herself.
“Elijah says you look beautiful in it,” she spoke softly, not taking her eyes from the dress. I looked from the dress to the open double doors that lead to the balcony. I could leave if I really wanted to. I could run and never turn back. I had all four elements on my side, I was the most powerful Sorcerer in this Temple.
“Come on now, Raya, you must get dressed quickly before you’re late!” Nai stated and lifted the dress into my arms.
The silky fabric sway around my hips as I made my way to the banquet hall. A faint trickle of music wrapped around the air and soon I stood outside of two heavy wooden doors. The same doors I stood outside on my first night here. When my body was battered and bruised, and my questions large and unanswered.
“It reminds me of the first night you stayed here,” Khol spoke softly, standing a few feet away from me. Clad in black dress pants, a white tunic and a black over coat, I had never seen him look more incredible.
“What was it you said?” He laughed to himself, light glinting off the golden hoops in his ears and nose, matching the gold rings collecting on his fingers. “Ah yes, you thought we were going to sacrifice you.” His voice was interrupted by a fit of his own laughter. The sound touched my toes and ran all the way up my body. His eyes crinkled and his whole body shook. If it were possible to drink a sound, I would get drunk on his laughter every night.
“You should laugh more,” I said without truly thinking first. As his laughter died, he looked up and our gazes met. His look was deep, as though he was staring directly into my soul.
“You should too.”
I wanted to say more to him. We had been tip toeing around our kiss since it had happened the day before. With everything going on, it was hard to even fathom what was starting to build between us. I opened my mouth to tell him everything I was thinking and feeling, but we were interrupted.
“Well don’t you both look dashing!” Elijah spoke from behind us, his husband proudly on his arm.
“I could say the same for the both of you!” The two men were utterly perfect in their black pants and gray overcoats, white tunics hidden underneath them. Each of them had a purple lily in their front pockets.
“It’s beautiful,” I whispered.
“Conan preserved the flowers from our wedding with his gifts, we wear them at every special occasion.” Elijah turned to his husband, years of love still present in his eyes. I turned to Conan and smiled deeply.
“We haven’t met, I’m Raya,” I held out a hand and he shook it.
“I have heard so much about you, I feel as though I already know you! I’m Conan.” His tanned skin and angled eyes reminded me of Alias, and a pang of guilt resided in my chest.
“You’re from the Eastern Continent?” I asked.
“Yes.” He looked over at Elijah. “But when I saw this young jumper on the battlefield, I knew I would follow him anywhere.” They shared a quick kiss and a lump formed in my throat.
I wanted what they had; something easy and simple. I looked over at Khol who watched them with a small smile on his face.
“We should go in,” he held out an arm to me as I smoothed my skirts.
“Do I look alright?” I asked, finally pulling the white gloves up over my elbows. Khol swallowed and barely met my eyes.
“You look beautiful.”
The memory of my carelessness in the boutique surfaced.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered as the tall doors were pushed open. “About the flower earlier, you were right, I wasn’t thinking clearly.” He met my eyes and nodded.
“I’m sorry too, my reaction was perhaps a little… over the top.”
A world of glitter and luxury poured into my senses as we stepped into the grand hall. Glasses of champagne were stacked, overflowing with amber liquid. A cake, taller than me, sat in the corner. Lilac flowers were swirled in icing. Floor to ceiling windows covered the wall to my right, thick lilac curtains draping around their edges. Two of the windows were flung open, many people strolling The Temple’s walled gardens. To our left stood several round tables, with chairs filled with guests sipping or eating or chatting.
If I were better with words, I would have probably found a wonderful way to describe the sight before me. Instead, all I could say was, “It’s beautiful.”
And it was.
Khol nodded beside me.
“What are we celebrating tonight?” The changing music brought me back down to earth. I looked at Khol, only now noticing how his midnight blue tie matched my dress perfectly.
“Ah, well,” he scratched the back of his neck nervously.
“It’s my birthday,” he said quickly and quietly.
I stopped in my tracks.
“It’s your birthday? Why didn’t you tell me?” I whispered through my teeth.
“It seemed as though you had more important things to think about.” He pulled us through the crowd, toward the stack of champagne glasses, one of which he handed to me.
“Khol,” Ezra stated as the crowds parted for her and her husband.
Looking at Khol’s father, Jonas, I realized how much the two men looked alike. Their dark brown skin, stark against the green of their eyes. They were very handsome men. Some may say that beauty on men is abnormal or strange, but no one could deny these men. Khol stood a few inches taller than his father, his hair solid black without the streaks of gray his father wore.
“You look lovely, Raya,” Jonas stated, smiling sweetly. “As do you, son.” He held out a hand and forearm for Khol to clasp. It was clear enough in that moment the men had grown together while Ezra had been leading The Temple.
Watching Khol interact with his father made me ache. I felt a deep sense of loneliness thump against my bones. It settled beneath my skin. Sitting oddly like oil and water. Khol’s eyes met mine and the world turned to mist around me.
She is breathtaking.
The words echoed in my head like a tune refusing to be forgotten.
“Shall we get this celebration started?” Elijah’s voice softly cut through our gazes.
Khol guided me throughout the room, glasses of sparkling wine in our hands.
Sorcerers from all over the continents had visited The Temple this evening. Khol had shared that most of them had arrived via the underground river beneath The Temple or used powerful magical disguises to arrive without notice. As gnarled, thorned trees surrounded The Temple and the island it was on, only invited guests could find it. It was the Continent’s best kept secret.
“I like your tie,” I spoke under my breath without looking up at him. We had been stuck in a Goddess awful conversation with a man whose name I hadn’t bothered to learn.
“I thought you’d appreciate it,” he said, his tie glinting in the candlelight.
“I asked for my grandmother’s empanadas,” Khol whispered to me softly as we stopped at a table for another glass of wine.
“Where are they?” I looked at the glorious table.
“They won’t be there,” he shrugged. “I ask every year but they no longer ‘trust’ my grandmother so…” his words trailed off and I made a mental note to probe him for answers later.
“Khol,” a woman with golden hair, around my age sauntered over to us, her skintight dress a deep red. “Happy birthday,” her voice was sultry and low.
“Nora, it’s good to see you. Thank you for coming.” Khol’s voice was low and hushed.
“You’re welcome,” she said before winking. “It’s always nice to celebrate with an old… friend.” The word sounding unnecessarily sexual in her mouth. She eyed me curiously.
“Perhaps we’ll talk later?” she asked, turning on her heel before Khol had chance to answer.
I moved further down the table and popped a macaroon in my mouth.
“Are you sleeping with her?” I spoke around the food in my mouth as casually as I could.
Khol choked on his mouthful of fizz.
“What?” His voice was high and quick. “Why would you think that?”
“Who is she?” I tried my best at being nonchalant.
“We were schooled together; I’ve known her for years.”
I swallowed a gulp of wine, the bubbles filling my head softly. I stuffed another sweet in my mouth. Another gulp of wine. Then wiped my hands against my dress before I could stop myself. I was a trained fighter after all, not a princess that went to balls.
“Do you want to dance?” I turned abruptly to find Khol already staring.
“With you?” He cocked his head to the side.
“Who else?” I asked, a mocking tone on my voice. Khol’s lips formed a tiny smile as he chuckled softly, reaching out his hand to take mine.
Jealously was not very flattering on me.
Our bodies touched and a fire smoldered within me. I tripped over my feet, stamping on Khol’s toes a few too many times.
“I am a solider, never learned to dance,” my voice was clipped. Red dancing on my cheeks in embarrassment.
“Just relax, I’ve got you.”
Songs flew by, one after another and we danced and danced. Ezra watched from the sidelines, Jonas whispering in her ear.
“Jealousy looks good on you, Raya,” Khol’s deep voice rumbled across my skull as we danced with our cheeks touching.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I teased.
“I thought you were going to rip Nora’s head off or choke on a macaroon.” A laugh burst out from my chest, and I tamped it down quickly.
“Maybe I just really love sweets,” I argued.
“Maybe,” his hand slipped from the top of my back to the base. “But I don’t think so.”
A sucked in a breath hastily. I had to stop this.
I couldn’t let Khol develop feelings for me, and I definitely couldn’t let myself feel anything toward him.
“I’m still leaving, Khol,” I said. “When I complete the trials, of course,” I corrected myself, forgetting the lie that lived within me. Pulling my cheek away from his to look at him, a cold breeze hit me. Couples danced around us and glasses clinked, men and women laughed, and people snuck off into dark corners, but we may as well have been alone.
“I don’t want you to,” Khol whispered, pushing a strand of my hair behind my ear. My traitorous heart stumbled over itself.
“Please don’t do this, Khol, don’t ask this of me,” I begged quietly, our bodies still dancing with muscle memory.
“Stay with me.”
The air was knocked from my chest and my knees began to wobble.
Because I wanted to.
I wanted to stay with him.
I wanted to burn that Goddess forsaken letter in my draw.
I stepped back from Khol, walking backward one step after another until I knocked into a man and spilt his drink.
“I’m sorry.” I brushed past him and bolted toward the glass doors, desperate for the night’s cool air.
How had I let myself become so distracted? The Goddess only knew if Alias was still alive, and what of Captain Jala?
How had I forgotten that the Sorcerers were ‘vicious?
How had I even believed that in the first place?
I had become complacent.
I had somehow become tethered to the power that begged to be released. That begged to destroy.
This was no Temple. It was a double edge sword, a poisoned betrayal bound to end in bloodshed.