33. Joy
JOY
“I’m glad to be home. Aren’t I?”
- FLORENCE’S PERSONAL JOURNAL
My entire body was numb. I stayed still, crouched behind the thorn bush until my legs cramped and sweat began to bead on my forehead.
I had let myself become a fool, again. I had let myself believe her, again. I watched as the two women embraced awkwardly, Florence smiling bitterly at the woman she had called mother.
I’ve missed you too, Mother.
Her words rang in my mind, like an off-key bell that never let me forget. How many times does she have to betray me before I stop forgiving her?
Hurt buried into my chest. Was everything she told me a lie? All of it false, all of it a deceit? My heart thumped wildly as pain bled into my entire body, I hadn’t seen it coming. Despite every betrayal, every lie that she had told me in the short time we had known each other, I had still believed that she was a good person beneath it all.
Red bloomed in my cheeks, embarrassment coating me. We shared a bed; we had awoken tangled around each other. Surely, she had felt something unravel between us, something urging to live, like a candle in the winter wind.
My body swayed in the bitter cold, foolishly I had thought the lack of snow would mean a slighter warmer temperature.
But the Northern Continent was still the Northern Continent, and it was still freezing. The sound of the heavy doors closing and locking, knocked me back into reality.
This was really happening. Florence had really left us.
But why? If she wished to return to her ‘Mother’, then why bring me with her? How did Jameson play a part in any of this?
My mind whirled uncomfortably.
The tall dry grass brushed against my legs. I turned back to the ocean that always seemed to follow me, staring at the ‘borrowed’ ship, wondering if I should give up.
Why did I think I could do this? That I was strong enough to do this? Did the crew back in Dayra think us dead? At the beginning of the journey, I had counted the days and nights but with all the chaos that seemed to follow our group, I had lost count, I guessed three months. Maybe four.
I sighed softly, what happened to us? To all of us.
I gasped out loud.
Erin and Jodie. They were scaling the prison’s walls. I shot up on shaking legs and began sprinting around the fortress. My arms pumped as my body shot across the barren plane. I needed to tell Erin and Jodie what had happened, that Florence was no longer to be trusted. Sweat pooled at the bottom of my back and my muscles barked in protest but I did not stop. I would not stop until my friends were safe.
My arms ached by my side and my heavy footfalls echoed behind me, as though encouraging me to keep going. The wispy grass tickled my thighs as I leaped and hopped through the thick forest, avoiding puddles of black water and grass that was burned on the tips.
What had happened out here? Blood roared in my ears and my heart slammed against my rib cage.
I halted abruptly at the sight of a heap of rope on the floor. Had they fallen? Or fled?
My head spun.
Had they been captured? I swung my head around, eager to catch a glance of them somewhere. Jodie’s long blonde hair or Erin’s bright blue eyes. But nothing.
I didn’t think I could survive another loss. I collapsed into a heap on the floor, catching my breath as fat tears began streaming down my face. Why is nothing ever easy? I found myself constantly asking why. Why me, why my family? Why do the people I love always seem to leave me? The tears dampened my tunic.
“I knew she loved us!” a familiar voice chirped from behind me. Jodie’s head popped out from behind one of the trees surrounding the huge fortress. Air whooshed into my lungs, the feeling of relief almost overwhelming.
I pushed to me feet.
“Are you hurt?” I called, rushing towards the sisters, pulling them both into a huge embrace.
“I thought something terrible had happened!” I whispered into the sisters’ hair.
“So did we,” Erin spoke softly, her eyes lined with silver. “We saw Florence push you to the ground…” she began.
“How did you see from so far away?”
“Who was that old woman?” Jodie interrupted; my question forgotten.
“Yes,” Erin eyed her sister with annoyance. “Who was she? We saw her embrace Florence and then something felt wrong.”
I shared the tiny shreds of information I had gleaned from the interaction between Florence and her supposed mother. Erin shook her head, disappointment clear and stark on her lovely face.
“We decided it was probably best to wait for you before carrying on with the plan,” Jodie said softly, blinking back the tears in her eyes, I smiled.
The air stilled for a moment, as though letting of us catch our breath.
“What now?” Jodie asked, gazing up at the castle towering above us. The eternal question stuck to our skin like honey.
“I can’t leave without Jameson,” I spoke softly, almost apologetically.
“You don’t have to stay with me, I understand if this is all… getting too much.” I winced at the pathetic sound of my own voice.
The sisters shook their heads in unison, resilience tattooed into their minds, just like the 444 tattooed on their bodies.
“Don’t you dare,” Erin looked at me, straight in my eyes.
“We’re in this together.” Jodie rested her hand on my shoulder.
“And when we probably die during this mission to save your brother,” Erin raises her brows, “at least we’ll be ghosts together!”
I laughed at her words.
“And I’ll mock you mercilessly for the rest of eternity for dying over…” She fake vomited, “a man,” she mockingly spat the words out, making a small burst of laughter fall from my lips.
I thanked any God or Goddess that would listen for throwing me onto Harlow’s ship with Erin and Jodie.
They had truly brought me back to life.
I took a deep breath and set my shoulders.
We dried our tears, retied our boots and scraped back our hair.
And then we picked up the rope and tried again.
I watched in awe as Erin used her MindWonderer power to lift the rope up into the air and wrap it around an iron bar sticking out of the wall, about three feet below an open window. I latched onto the rope, ready to plant my feet on the stone wall in front of me.
“If I fall, can you use your magical magic to stop me from smashing against the ground?” I smiled, looking over at Erin.
“Magical Magic?” Erin mocked, raising her eyebrow.
“Yes…?”
“I can try, but no promises,” she laughed. “It doesn’t really work that way.” I tried to ignore the sinking in my heart.
I heaved my body up onto the wall, my feet shoulder width apart and I began to haul my body up. Taking small steps, edging closer to the window. The rope burned against my hands.
“I don’t understand why you can’t float me up to the ledge, like you did with the rope?” I whined as sweat dripped down my forehead.
“I already told you,” Erin shouted from down below, “it doesn’t work like that!”
“But I am a living thing!” I protested.
“If I try to manipulate you, it might break up your insides and possibly destroy you,” she cringed.
“What is the probability of that happening?” I asked, sweat making my hands slippy. I was distracting myself and we all knew it. I moved as fast as I could, focusing on ending the pain in my hands and muscles.
I could see the iron bar now, not too far.
And then my leg slipped, scraping my knees and my body slammed against the wall. My heart kicked up, galloping like a fearless horse. The rope began slipping through my fingers, my expose skin grazed against the rough brick and my palms burned from the friction. I gritted my teeth until I felt as though they would crack.
Squeezing my hands against the rope, I grappled with my feet until they found the wall.
I finally stopped moving. Blood dripping down my wrists.
I heaved in a breath.
And then another.
I looked up, the iron bar now even further from my grasp. My biceps screamed for me to let.
Give up.
“Joy?”Jameson’s voice seemed to whisper in my ear. I almost dropped the rope in shock.
“You must keep going. Don’t go soft on me. Don’t quit.”
If I fell now, I would not survive, there was no escaping it.
A strange calm settled over me. If I gave up now, I wouldn’t just be giving up on myself but on my entire crew, my entire family.
I didn’t know if I was hallucinating from the pain or if the strange magic that helped to find Jameson before was in play again.
But I planted my feet on the wall. Squared my shoulders and thought of Dayra, of home.
Biting my lip hard enough to draw blood I pulled with all my might.
My hand wrapped around the cool metal of the iron bar only moments later and I pulled myself up, into a balanced sitting position.
“What now?” I shouted down to Erin, hoping my voice wouldn’t carry into the prison.
“You have to jump up, reach for the ledge.”
“Jump!? Are you crazy?” I looked up at the window, it felt so close yet so far. “Why didn’t you tie the rope up there?” I wobbled on the metal bar, my breathing hitching.
“There was nothing to tie it to, this was the best shot!” Fear for my life coated her words. I nodded.
Clutching the wall with shaking arms, I stood up, balancing on the bar.
Don’t look down. Don’t look down. Don’t look down.
I tied the rope around my waist and prayed to every Goddess that I wouldn’t fall.
And then I jumped.