47. Joy
JOY
“Once the snow melts, we need to be ready.”
- ELIAN.
The mountains that surrounded the Zlat, the forest in which The Circle was hidden, were perilous. Ice and snow pelted against us and our borrowed horses for hours, slowly chipping away at our motivation. Elian guided us to a small cave on the side of a mountain, lighting a fire with his hands to chase away the cold.
Before that moment, I had completely forgotten he was a Sorcerer.
“We should be there by midday tomorrow.” His words thawed the ice in my chest.
“Did we have to walk the mountains? I can’t feel my feet.” Raya shivered, moving closer to the fire.
“We did if we want to survive.” Elian’s usual spark had died out over the last thirty-six hours. I scooted next to him as Raya produced more flames in her hands, attempting to keep us warm.
“Are you alright?” I whispered for only Elian’s ears. He stared at me for a moment, I could almost see the cogs turning in his brain.
“Fine,” his was voice clipped.
“I’m not going to pretend that I know you, but you don’t seem… yourself,” I pushed on, ignoring the warning burrowing into my chest.
“You’re right, you don’t know me.” His words were harsh and emotionless, his gaze cutting. I stared at him, all the hope once living in his eyes, gone.
“Elian,” my voice soon lost all its patience. “We’re stuck together, whether you like it or not.” He glanced over at me. “Talk. Now.” Crossing my arms, I turned from Raya and Khol.
An internal war played out in Elian’s head, his eyes flicking from me to Raya and then to Khol. He ran his fingers through his hair and huffed a sigh.
“I grew up outside Zetka, joined the Sage Guard just like Raya,” he struggled over the next few words.
“I was in training, fighting another solider. He was getting the better of me, and I didn’t want to lose, again.” He angrily wiped a stray tear from his eye.
“All I was thinking was ‘I can’t lose again’ over and over, and then suddenly there was fire everywhere. The solider barely made it out alive. I almost killed him, and I didn’t know why.” His voice cracked softly.
“They took me away, beat me, locked me in The Temple dungeons.” His eyes finally met mine. “I haven’t been back since.” Elian’s eyes glistened with unshed tears.
“I’m sorry.” My voice was a whisper. It was all I could say, nothing could take away the pain he had felt. He nodded.
“We should get some sleep.” He stood and walked toward Khol, Raya, and the fire, the former already fast asleep. He laid down, his body taught.
When the sun finally rose, ever so slightly thawing the cold and ice around us, my eyes stung, and my body ached. Raya and Elian were already up and repacking the bags, an unnamed animal twirling above the fire. I daren’t ask.
Soon we were back on the mountain, the cold slightly less biting than the day before.