Epilogue
Seth
I didn’t think I’d be anxious in the moments leading up to the ceremony. I’m ready to be married to Nick. I’m the sort of person who’s always known what I want in life, and I’ve never been as sure of anything as I am about him.
But I’m filled with nerves as I wait for him outside the Great Room at Otter Trail Lodge, so that we can walk down the aisle together. Jittery with anticipation at the thought of being able to call him my husband instead of my boyfriend or my partner.
On the other side of the double doors, our small group of guests are seated and mingling. A few different conversations muddle together, but all other sound disappears when I hear footsteps.
Nick rounds the corner. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him so cleaned up, and I doubt it’ll happen again anytime soon, so I make sure to take it all in.
His hair, trimmed and neatly styled. His jaw, clean-shaven.
The tailored burgundy suit hugging his broad shoulders and tapered hips.
The black tie and dress shirt that match my own suit, and the white rose pinned to his lapel, like the deep red one pinned to mine.
“Nicky, Nicky, Nicky…” I reach for him as soon as he’s close enough, eyes scrolling over him one more time before I kiss his cheek and speak softly into his ear. Our last moment alone. “Are you sure you want us to make it down the aisle?”
“Have you seen yourself? Might have to drag you back to our room as soon as you say ‘I do’.”
“Oh, you won’t have to do any dragging.”
As if we’d be able to sneak away from our own reception—but it’s a pleasant thought nonetheless.
He laces our fingers, smiling back at me as I pull away. “Ready?”
I lift his hand to my lips, kissing his knuckles. “So fucking ready to be married to you.”
There is no procession, no event coordinator or itinerary. Just a room full of candlelight and loved ones on the other side. Acoustic music plays in the background, filling the room when we open the doors, and the conversations die.
Everyone turns around. Nick’s parents, seated beside my mom at the front, who’s already wiping beneath her eyes.
Audrey and Jared and the kids. Zach and Erin, Pyotr and Anna, Konrad and his plus one we probably won’t see again after tonight.
A few familiar faces from around the harbor like Amalie and Captain Ericsen, and the handful of extended family members who were able to make the trip out to Alaska.
Since my parents host weddings at the lodge, my dad has been ordained for decades. He waits for us at the altar, holding a small wooden box with both of our rings inside. Somehow he manages to keep Squid sitting politely, but her fluffy tail wags with increasing vigor the closer we get.
We walk hand in hand down the aisle, between rows of log benches with candles clustered at the end. An archway of fresh pine frames the platform where we stop and turn to face each other.
Squid gets a little impatient and jumps up between both of us, her paws slapping down on our forearms. Everyone laughs as we bribe her to settle back down with a few pets.
My father says a few words to start the ceremony, but I’ve been lost in Nick’s eyes from the moment I met them again.
“Seth and Nicolas have decided to write their own vows,” my father continues, handing our vow books to us. “Seth, would you like to read yours first?”
I crack open the booklet, but I don’t have to look down. I know the words by heart now, the amount of times I read it back while trying to describe what Nick means to me. The pressure was on, knowing what a good writer he secretly is.
“Nick. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this moment since the day we met.
Even though I never thought it would come.
” I smile. One that he returns, the corners of our lips twitching.
“I’d say I fell in love with you at first sight, but that wasn’t the only time.
I fell in love with you when—a year ago, this day—I found out you were willing to risk your life for me.
I fell in love with you when you instantly became a part of my family.
I fall in love with you every moment, of every day, when you go out of your way to take care of the people you love. To take care of me.
“How lucky am I, to be standing here with the strongest, smartest, most selfless person I’ve ever known?
My closest friend. My refuge—my Suoja.” His eyes are wet.
Reflecting a shadow of my own face back to me as I try to get through the rest of the words I wrote without blubbering.
“We have something people rarely find, and I vow to never lose sight of that. I vow to be your support when you take the weight of the world on your shoulders. I vow to do whatever it takes to put a smile on your face. I vow to never stop calling you ‘Nicky’, because I know you secretly love it.”
He rolls his teary eyes, but it’s all for show.
I close my vow book, tucking it into the pocket inside my suit jacket. “But I won’t call you that quite as often anymore, Nicky. Because I’m really, really ready to call you my husband.”
Nick wipes beneath his eyes, taking a deep breath to steady himself as he opens his book next.
“Seth”—his voice wobbles—“you were never just my first mate. You’re my soulmate.”
I lose the battle when I see how emotional he is. Tears spill. One or two, and then buckets streaming down my cheeks. I don’t look away from him to tell whether he and I are the only ones, but my own father is sniffling a little, and I haven’t seen him cry since the day my grandfather passed.
“This past year has been one of rebuilding. Some, bittersweet. But building a future with you has been the greatest joy of my life, and I never want it to end.” Another deep, shaky breath.
“I promise not to let fear get in the way of all the many, many adventures I want to have with you. To keep you safe, happy, and excessively warm at all times.”
I chuckle lightly.
“I promise to be yours, faithfully, until the very last time I return to sea.” He tucks his book away as well, and takes both my hands.
Sparkling gray eyes lock onto mine. “Through every winter night, you’re my guiding star.
Through every summer afternoon, you’re the sun on my face.
Through every fair weather day, you’re my calm seas.
And through every storm, you’re my lighthouse. ”
My father opens the ring box, holding it out to the two of us.
His next words can’t come soon enough. “Seth Rittenburg, do you take Nicolas Lundvall to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do you part?”
“I do,” I say, a few more tears leaking out as Nick slides the band back onto my finger.
He repeats the question to Nick. A blur of words standing between me and what I need. The “I do” that slips out of his lips. Those lips, on mine. Him, in my arms.
I take his left hand, sliding the ring onto his finger and instantly feeling the rightness of that metal against my palm as we hold hands.
“By the power vested in me by the State of Alaska, I pronounce you both married.” My father smiles, gesturing for us to come together. “You may now—”
I step forward, sealing my lips against Nick’s.
“—kiss your husband.”
The room erupts into laughter, then cheering and clapping. You wouldn’t think such a small group could generate so much noise, but I think our crew—two in particular—are to blame. Though, I believe the piercing whistle that cuts through everything else belongs to Orlov.
Through it all, I kiss my husband. Until we both run out of air. Until it verges on inappropriate in front of all our family and friends.
Nick looks winded when we finally part. His cheeks are almost as red as his suit.
I know for a fact, I’ve never smiled the way I’m smiling right now.
I reach for the bottle of brandy on the altar—the same kind as the bottle that went down with the Suoja—and fill the two glasses beside it before I pass it to Nick’s father to make its way around the room for a toast.
“To finding my orca. Or… eagle. Because this is it. We’re mating for life,” I tell Nick, clinking my glass against his. A cheers just for us while we wait for everyone else to fill their cups.
We take the first sip, sparing half the glass, and Paul stands to make the next toast. Smiling like he’s as proud of his son today as he was the day Nick took over as captain. “To Nick and Seth.”
The words echo around the room in different voices, and then right beside me.
“For life,” Nick says, his eyes on mine while we drink the rest of the brandy.
“For life.”
Thank you for reading!