Chapter 74
An untethered feeling hangs heavy in the air around me. What the fuck just happened? As a surge of panic tries to rise up in me, I force it down. Now is my moment, my day, and I will not let anyone ruin it for me. What I need to do is think logically. What was Thea trying to achieve?
As much as I want to believe she was lying to me, hoping to turn me against Kyor, what would be the point?
With the whiteness of her hair and the familiarity in her features, there is no denying she is Estel’s sister.
And according to her, Kyor loved her, or at least made her believe that he did, and then he left her to be stripped.
So what of their child? Benny had said that it had perished, but Kyor had said he was unsure if the pair had even slept together.
But the evidence of their intimacy was there in the black-and-white drawing.
Is there a blue-eyed heir to the throne toddling around somewhere in one of the lower rings?
All my insecurities return, punching into me as though they never left. I cover my mouth, trying to stop myself from heaving. Was this all just a game to him? Breaking hearts, ruining lives, just because he could? No. I shake my head.
No, I know Kyor. He’s not like that.
Yet, I still feel sick. My head is in my hands when there’s a sharp knock at the door.
‘My lady, it is time we accompanied you to the ball.’
It’s the gruff maid’s voice again. Not Thea’s, of that much I’m certain.
I stand, wiping my eyes and looking at my hair in the mirror. Fucking Thea did my hair to match hers. To match the way she said Kyor liked it.
I can’t wear it like this. I reach up to braid it, but I’m interrupted before I can even begin. ‘My lady?’ The voice comes again, this time with an edge of impatience.
‘I’ll just be a minute,’ I call back, letting my hands drop from my hair.
I draw in a long breath. I wash my face, grab a hairbrush and rake it through my hair, the perfect curls gone, forced into loose waves instead. I bend my lips into something reminiscent of a smile. That will have to do.
This is about the gifted. Me, Godsdamn it all. This is my ball and I will not let my fears and insecurities ruin the victory of the moment. With a sharp inhale I push Thea’s poisonous words down into the deepest recesses of my soul. They can haunt me there another day, but not now.
Besides, everything I did was for Kay, for her future. Whatever is between Kyor and me, it has no bearing on this moment. Kay and I are free. And that is everything.
I wonder just who I’m trying to convince.
With another breath in, I tilt my chin up and open the door to the gruff-sounding maid. I have no idea how long I have kept her waiting, but rather than showing any annoyance, she offers a warm smile.
‘You look beautiful, Lady Rose,’ she says. ‘Really beautiful. I’ll escort you to the ballroom.’
‘Thank you. It’s fine though. I don’t need a chaperone.’
‘I’ll just lead you to it,’ she assures me. ‘Don’t worry. No one expects a maid to be on your arm today.’ Another smile.
I’ve never been in the Spire, so I accept her assistance, though in the end it’s a fairly straightforward walk down the steep steps, which bring me out at the bottom of the palace. Huddled by the doorway is a cluster of priestesses. I scan their faces, but none are Dinah.
‘Excuse me,’ I ask one. ‘Can you tell me if Dinah is okay? I saw her … I saw her at the end.’
The priestesses exchange a series of tight-lipped looks, and fear rolls through me. Before I can speak again, one bestoned priestess takes pity on me.
‘To be an avatar of the Gods takes much energy. Dinah will be resting for a day or two yet but is unharmed from the experience.’
‘Thank you,’ I say gratefully. There. Yet another thing to be grateful for. Dinah is well. Kay is safe. I have my magic. I am determined to count my blessings, even if I’m now unsure whether Kyor is among them.
While the escort from this point is unnecessary the maid leads me towards the ballroom, the two of us now flanked by the procession of priestesses.
We approach a series of knights and their dire wolves lining the path, and unease prickles down my neck.
Is it an honour guard or increased security following the previous rebel incidents?
As I walk, the knights genuflect to me as though I’m someone important. My mouth dries while my heart is suddenly racing again.
My moment of recognition – reclamation – is finally here.
‘The gifted. Lady Rose Kultavaris,’ one of the priestesses confirms imperiously to the knight on the door.
As he goes to open the door and announce me, the maid takes my hand and curtsies deeply.
‘One of us,’ she whispers to me, with such pride and awe that heat prickles my eyes.
She gives my hand one final squeeze and releases it before rising to her feet and striding away.
One of us. It is the reminder I need. I push aside Thea’s bullshit. This is my moment and I am going to fucking own it.
I can already hear the music, the chatter, and the laughter. Do they know it’s me who’s about to be announced? Have the others returned? Where is Benny? Jonas?
‘The gifted,’ the knight announces. The ballroom falls utterly silent. ‘Lady Rose Kultavaris.’
A moment of absolute quiet holds in the air, and the only sound I can hear is the drumming of my heart as it batters my ribcage.
The maid who chaperoned me down may have been pleased to see me win, but what about the court?
Is this the moment they decide they know better than the Goddess and deem me wholly unworthy?
What will that look like? With an image of raucous booing and jeering filling my head, the ballroom bursts into applause.
Faces beam at me, and women dab their eyes with false pride, as though they never once spat on me and called me the Queenkiller’s daughter.
‘You should greet the king,’ a priestess whispers in my ear. ‘It is tradition.’
My already parched throat dries further still.
King Korvane is sitting on his throne with a smile so fixed and false it should be hilarious. Next to him is Kyor. His eyes display that same awe he showed me in the chamber earlier, the cerulean blue depths so full of love I can’t possibly believe it’s false.
The two royals are not alone. Murmuring to Korvane is High Priestess Mila. I find I have no wish to speak to any of them right now, so I select a glass of wine from a nearby waiter and stand holding it. I doubt I will ever sip a glass of wine given to me by a stranger ever again.
Even now, I can see Llinos’s face as she struggled to breathe.
Godsdamn it all.
Unsure how to proceed and aware of all the eyes scrutinising my every move, I feel my anxiety beginning to rise.
I don’t want to face Korvane. Or Kyor. Yet I don’t know where to go.
The crowd parts, creating a clear walkway straight between me and the dais where the king awaits, and yet still I do not move.
To give my thanks to him after the pain he caused my family – the pain he caused Kyor – is something I’m not sure I’m capable of.
Whispers crescendo and smiles grow tighter as eyes flicker between me and the royals, wondering who will react first. Then, without warning, there is a bustling motion to the side and Benny barrels into the centre of the room, a glass in hand.
The relief at the sight of my friend is intensified further as he lifts his drink into the air. ‘To the gifted! To Lady Rose!’
The court hesitates, their collective gaze still darting towards the king, until another lone voice echoes Benny’s toast.
‘To the gifted! Lady Rose.’
It’s enough to open the floodgates.
‘To the gifted! The gifted!’
The chorus goes up around me, hundreds and hundreds of voices, yet once again my mind can only hear one. It’s like my senses can only tune in to him.
As I stare at Kyor, the image of Thea’s picture rises in my mind and, with it, bile that stings the back of my throat.
He told her he loved her too. And then he let her be stripped.
Have I been duped the same way she was? Fooled into believing his emotions are real?
It didn’t feel like it, but I suppose no one suspects the conman until it is too late.
And it is too late. If he’s been playing with me …
my heart won’t survive it. Because I wasn’t playing.
I was all in. Now, I’m not so sure. He kept my secret though, didn’t he?
He didn’t tell anyone about the forbidden frozen magic that burst from within me.
It is torture. More torturous than any of the trials I suffered through.
‘You did it. You fucking did it!’ Benny’s voice brings me back into the moment. When I turn around, he’s there, beaming at me. ‘I don’t need to tell you this, but you know that Llin would be so freaking proud of you right now.’
‘I wish she was here to see this,’ I admit, feeling the tears build up again. Gods, am I just made of tears these days?
‘Me too, me too.’ He takes my hand and squeezes tightly. ‘Our Rose, Gods above, the gifted. I’m damned proud of you. What did you ask for?’ he queries.
‘For everything to be restored to me and mine. Our magic, our wealth, our titles.’ I smile. ‘I have my magic back.’
‘I’m happy for you, Rose. You deserve it all and more.’ Benny looks at me with such pride that my heart warms all over again. ‘Have you seen Kay yet?’
‘Not yet,’ I tell him.
‘Rose!’ Jonas is the next to accost me. ‘Rose, you’re here. Thank goodness. I wanted to speak to you. There’s something I need, we need, to discuss. Now.’
A grind of irritation echoes through my clenched jaw. I don’t expect my friends to venerate me because I won, but would a single word of congratulations hurt? What can be so urgent that it can’t wait another day?