Chapter 15
It’s one of those delicious May days when it’s bright and sunny but not too warm. Heat from the sun, cool breeze keeping the edge off, but the world feels warm again after a long winter – and this one has felt especially long and cold for some reason.
The grounds at Rosewood are already packed with flowers, pops of colour everywhere, and the green lawns are so vibrant.
Not to be dramatic, but I feel like Dorothy Gale, finally stepping into Technicolour.
And it’s funny, because it didn’t feel so bright yesterday.
Sure, I noticed how beautiful the place was, but today the colours are more vivid, the birdsong is louder and I’m not in the fountain.
Today I feel a glimmer of hope for my future, like my professional life might be back on track at least.
And, of course, strolling the grounds with my genuine cowboy fiancé doesn’t hurt. I can’t help but notice people noticing him. It’s the cowboy hat, the boots, the handsome face and the muscular frame.
Jake walks beside me like this is all perfectly ordinary.
He’s got his hands in his pockets, shoulders loose, face calm in that annoying (but so sexy) unbothered way men seem to always be capable of rocking, whereas I can almost always feel my stress in my shoulders – my back is so tight between my shoulder blades, sometimes it gives my bra the day off.
‘That’s a strong hat,’ I tell him.
‘Yeah, I was wondering whether I should lose the hat,’ he replies with a laugh. ‘Back home everyone wears ’em, keeps the sun from your eyes.’
‘Where are you from?’ I ask.
‘Texas,’ he replies. ‘My family had a ranch in Weatherford, near Fort Worth. That’s where my mom was from. My dad’s a London boy. He still lives round these parts.’
‘Oh, so you want to move back to be closer to your dad?’ I reply.
‘That’s right,’ he says. ‘Even if it means losing the hat.’
The hat finishes off his perfect storybook cowboy silhouette – broad shoulders, boots, that calm swagger – like he’s wandered off a spicy romance cover and he’s looking for a main character to ravish. Sadly, I’ve never had main character energy.
You know, it’s funny, I remember joking to JJ that I wanted a leading man – I think I even said a cowboy. And here one is.
‘You should keep the hat, it suits you,’ I reply. ‘Makes you look like a real cowboy.’
He laughs. ‘Always thought of myself as a rancher, not a cowboy, but you can call me that if you like,’ he says.
‘Thanks,’ I say with a laugh. ‘It’s the romcom writer in me.’
‘You’re welcome, ma’am,’ he replies.
‘Ma’am,’ I say back to him. ‘You really are the real deal.’
He laughs. Then we fall silent for a few seconds. It’s a comfortable silence, but we’ve got an uncomfortable conversation to have.
‘Okay,’ I say, because if I don’t start talking I’ll start thinking, and if I start thinking I might throw myself into another fountain just to avoid having to go through with this.
Jake glances at me.
‘Okay.’
I clear my throat.
‘So, I want to start by saying that I’m not crazy. Yes, I fell into the fountain, and yes, I was wearing an engagement ring, but I’m actually the best man, for my best friend Andy, who is getting married here,’ I explain. ‘And I was being a silly girlie, wanting to try the ring on.’
‘Best man,’ he replies with a smile.
‘I pushed for the title best woman, but his fiancée vetoed that,’ I reply.
‘Well, I didn’t think you were crazy, and I was happy to be there to help. And I’m happy to scratch your back – I appreciate you scratching mine. Shall we talk terms?’
God. Terms. Suddenly it feels so scary and real and kind of stupid. I can’t believe I’ve let JJ talk me into this.
We reach a quiet stretch of orchard path, hidden by perfectly clipped hedges. The main house is still visible in the distance but we’re tucked away enough that it feels private. It’s the perfect place for a conspiratorial chat, like we’re in Game of Thrones or something.
‘Okay,’ I say, attempting business. ‘This is stupid.’
Jake nods.
‘Yup.’
‘And it might ruin my life – or yours,’ I add.
‘Possibly.’
‘Then why are you so calm?’ I demand.
Jake shrugs.
‘I’ve been bucked off a horse at full speed.’
‘And, what, hit your head?’ I reply.
He laughs.
‘No, I mean nothing seems so scary after that.’
Yeah, well, when your muscles make you a comparable weight to the horse, what’s to fear?
‘It sounds scary,’ I reply.
‘It was,’ he says. ‘But it taught me somethin’. Panicking doesn’t keep you in the saddle.’
I stare at him for a second.
‘Are you giving me a cowboy motivational speech?’ I ask.
‘Maybe,’ he replies.
This is all so amusing to him. I guess it helps. I try to laugh too, but the truth is everything feels so up in the air – one wrong move and it comes crashing down.
Jake’s expression shifts.
‘You okay?’ he asks seriously.
‘I’m…’ I wave a hand. ‘Kind of living a nightmare at the moment. And JJ wants me to pretend I’m living in a romcom.’
‘You sorta are in a romcom,’ he says. ‘I’ve seen movies where couples pretend to be together. It always looks fun.’
‘It always starts out fun,’ I correct him. ‘But in real life everything always goes to shit, right?’
Jake gives me a look that says he doesn’t agree, but he doesn’t say anything.
Instead, he steps a little closer – not crowding, just showing me that he’s there.
‘Here’s where I’m at. Arty Morgan doesn’t want to sell to me,’ Jake says. ‘Not because I don’t have the money. Because he thinks I’ll ruin it. He thinks I’m here for profit, not for the place.’
I nod slowly.
‘And you’re not?’
‘I’m here because I want to live in the lodge, be near my dad, run the equestrian centre, spend my time with the horses and, yeah, if I’m lucky enough, raise my own family here,’ he says sincerely.
‘But Arty sees the big hat, the boots, the single guy who rocks up out of nowhere offering him a fat cheque for a place he loves. I get why he’s cautious. ’
There’s something in his voice when he says it – quiet, sincere – that makes my chest feel tight. Like he really means it.
‘I grew up around land. Animals. Work that actually matters. This place, it feels like home already. Even though it’s not. It could be, if I just got a shot,’ he adds.
I don’t know what to say to that, because it’s so real, so honest. So much more authentic than any part of me. So I do what I always do when confronted with sincerity. I make a joke.
‘So you need to look… stable,’ I quip.
Jake laughs.
‘That’s the word, yeah.’
‘And JJ thinks the answer is me,’ I continue.
Jake’s eyes meet mine.
‘Do you think the answer is you?’
Do I?
I want my book deal. I want to be wanted.
I want to stop feeling like I’m shouting into a void.
And, honestly, I want Andy too. Jake might be my only shot at getting both – or either – and maybe I really am the stability he needs to show Arty what’s already under his nose. That Jake is perfect for this place.
Jake watches me like he can hear the argument I’m having with myself inside my head.
‘Here’s my question,’ he says softly. ‘Will this really help you?’
‘Well, JJ thinks publishers might finally look at me if I’m more interesting,’ I say.
‘You’re already interesting,’ he replies.
‘Your hat is more interesting than I am,’ I insist. ‘But JJ thinks it’s true and I do trust her. If there’s one thing she knows, it’s business.’
And the Kama Sutra, but he doesn’t need that detail.
‘Okay,’ I say briskly. ‘So. If we do this. We do it properly. We’re there for each other until we get what we want and then, well, we go our sperate ways.’
‘Makes perfect sense,’ he replies with a nod.
‘Oh, but it might mean I need you to come to Andy’s wedding with me,’ I say. ‘But that’s here anyway, so…’
‘I love a wedding,’ he replies. ‘And I’ve never been the plus-one to a best man before.’
I laugh.
‘Then you’re welcome,’ I reply.
‘Plus, it will be a good way for me to show Arty that we’re serious,’ he adds. ‘If we’re here together.’
‘So I’ll get my book deal, you’ll get your sale through, and then we’ll simply… stop. We can fake a break-up,’ I suggest.
‘Yeah, I guess we can tell people it ended,’ he replies.
‘We’ll return to our normal lives, with the things we want, and I guess that’s our happy ever after?’ I say.
‘Sounds like a plan,’ he says with a smile.
‘Do we need to talk about boundaries?’ I say, the words tasting icky in my mouth, but if we’re pretending we’re a couple, it might come up.
‘Alright.’
‘So I guess we might have to do some light publicity,’ I say. ‘For optics. Photos. When Arty is around.’
Jake nods.
‘Yes, ma’am.’
‘About that,’ I say. ‘Much as it pains me, because I really like you calling me ma’am, maybe it’s not right?’
‘Ma’am is respectful where I come from,’ he replies.
‘Ma’am makes me feel like I’m about to be offered a seat on a stagecoach,’ I say.
‘Would you like a seat on a stagecoach?’ he asks.
‘Oh, 100 per cent,’ I reply. ‘But I guess, if we’re a couple, pet names might be better?’
‘Sure thing,’ he replies. ‘Babe?’
‘I don’t have a better one in mind,’ I say with a sigh. ‘Babe it is.’
‘Alright. Then let’s add another rule,’ Jake suggests.
‘Go on,’ I prompt him.
‘Absolute honesty at all times,’ he says.
‘We’re faking a relationship,’ I remind him.
‘I mean between us,’ he says. ‘We stay honest with each other. That way, no one is uncomfortable, no one gets hurt.’
‘Okay, yeah, that makes sense,’ I reply. ‘Absolute honesty.’
I mean, obviously I don’t have to mention my feelings for Andy to him. They’re just by the by; not the reason we’re doing this. I’m in it for the book deal, Jake is in it to buy part of Rosewood, and that’s that.
‘So, how do we look engaged?’ I ask, immediately hating how the question sounds. ‘Do we hold hands while we walk?’
‘I’ve never been engaged before, but sure, we can do that,’ he says as he reaches out to take my hand in his.
Our bodies naturally drift closer, now that we’re walking holding hands. He’s close enough that I can smell his aftershave and, wow, he smells delicious.
We head back out of the orchard, standing in the gateway for a moment.
‘Okay,’ Jake says. ‘If we’re engaged, we’re comfortable. You don’t stand like you’re about to bolt.’
‘I’m not about to bolt,’ I protest. ‘I’m not a horse, you know that, right?’
‘This would be a lot easier if you were,’ he jokes. ‘Ma— babe. If you lean away any more, folks’ll think you’re doing this under duress.’
I kinda am.
‘I am not leaning away on purpose,’ I insist.
Jake gently places his hand at my waist – barely there, a light touch – and guides me a fraction closer.
My entire body reacts like he’s just jabbed me with a cattle prod.
Not because it feels bad, because it feels good.
Because I haven’t been touched by a man like this in a long time. It feels safe, comforting, and so sexy.
Jake’s hand stays at my waist.
‘Better,’ he murmurs.
‘Better,’ I reply.
‘Okay, now we can walk back to the house.’
His fingers curl gently around mine so we can walk hand in hand.
‘This isn’t so hard,’ he says with a laugh.
It kind of is, though, for me at least. It weirdly feels like I’m betraying Andy, even though Andy is literally about to marry someone else.
‘Why does it feel like everyone is staring?’ I say. ‘People are watching us.’
Jake’s thumb strokes the back of my hand, in an almost reassuring way.
‘Then we give ’em somethin’ worth watchin’,’ he replies.
He stops, takes me in his arms again, our faces only inches apart.
‘Whit?’
My whole body goes stiff at the sound of Andy’s voice.
I turn in Jake’s grip and see Andy walking towards us along the path.
He looks confused.
‘Oh,’ I squeak, like a startled mouse. ‘Hi.’
Andy slows as he approaches us, his eyes flicking between me and Jake. His smile appears – bright, polite – but it’s not his usual smile.
‘Everything alright?’ he asks, voice light. ‘I saw you two walk out. Thought I’d catch up with you, see what was going on…’
‘Just taking a walk,’ I tell him. ‘Walking off that breakfast – oh my God, so good.’
‘Andy, right?’ Jake says, letting go of my waist, going back to holding my hand, offering Andy his other hand to shake.
Andy blinks, then shakes it.
‘That’s right,’ he replies.
‘Jake, good to finally meet you, heard a lot about you,’ Jake says.
There’s something so friendly about his accent – although Andy seems immune to it right now.
‘JJ said you’re engaged,’ he blurts.
‘Yeah,’ I reply.
‘It’s a bit sudden, isn’t it?’ he says. ‘I go away for six weeks, I come back and you’re engaged? I didn’t even think you had a boyfriend. You said JJ had been setting you up with losers…’
‘Well, the last one wasn’t a loser, it was Jake and I’m just smitten,’ I say, squeezing his hand. ‘Plus, you got engaged too, in the same amount of time, and I didn’t know…’
‘Yeah, fair enough,’ he says, running a hand through his hair, puffing air from his cheeks. ‘So you’ll be coming to the wedding, mate?’
‘Wouldn’t miss it for the world,’ Jake replies.
‘Were you going to tell me that you were engaged?’ Andy asks, clearly struggling to let it go.
‘We didn’t want to steal your thunder,’ I reply. ‘We were going to wait until after your wedding to announce it, but I guess someone filmed us.’
‘Yeah, I saw that,’ Andy confesses. ‘Then I saw JJ and she told me it was real. I couldn’t believe it, but here you are…’
‘Here we are,’ I say with a smile.
Jake’s arm slides around my waist, pulling me gently against his side like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
Andy’s jaw tightens slightly, so subtle most people wouldn’t see it, but I know his face too well. He looks uncomfortable – or maybe it’s simply wishful thinking on my part. Maybe he thinks I’m getting scammed. Why would a hottie like Jake pop the question to a girl like me after a matter of weeks?
‘Well. Congratulations,’ he says, too bright. ‘Last thing I expected.’
‘Thanks,’ I reply.
‘Right, well, I’d better get back to Tink,’ he says. ‘See you back home, I guess.’
‘See you at home,’ I reply, all smiles.
‘Yeah, see you,’ Jake adds with a wave.
God, that was weird.
‘You alright?’ Jake asks.
I inhale shakily.
‘Yes.’
Jake doesn’t look convinced.
‘You sure?’
‘I’m fine. I’m just… allergic to lying,’ I explain.
I never lie to Andy. This is all new to me.
‘Well, you did a great job,’ he assures me. ‘You act like that for Arty Morgan, I might get my lodge after all.’
And I might get my book deal. Even if it’s the only thing I can get, it’s worth it. It has to be.