Chapter Four The First Night
Chapter Four
The First Night
The pair started dancing as the music picked up again.
Evander kept one arm wrapped around her, the other holding her hand.
He looked at their hands and realized just how small her hands were in his own.
It made his chest tighten as he realized just how truly small and delicate she was.
He was used to strong men and women. The warriors of his clan, the maids of his keep, the farmers and stablehands who bred the horses.
Delicateness was not something his clan had much of.
And yet, here Alice was, like a fragile porcelain sculpture.
For a moment, he found that he was unsure how to hold her, as if dancing could break her.
But Alice did not act like the dainty thing she appeared to be as she started to learn the steps and follow his lead.
She was timid, yes, but she trusted her body to move. His shoulders relaxed.
I dinnae need to coddle her.
He led her through the dance. Despite possibly never having danced a ruidhle gaelach before, Alice was doing well.
Her feet moved gently to the rhythm, her movements were graceful, and her demeanor was elegant.
He smiled. He was glad that his wife was able to dance, even if the specifics of the dance would need to be learned.
By now, the Great Hall was warm from all the movement.
People laughed drunkenly around them; others joined in the dances with great enthusiasm.
The music grew and crescendoed, and he twirled her around.
She looked up again, smiling, and it pleased him to see that, this time, the smile was a real one.
It was not just a plastered-on smile for the sake of others.
No. This was her happiest self. The side that he had yet to see since he had met her.
She smiled and held him tightly as they went through some more unfamiliar steps.
She could feel her ears warming again as he studied her.
She went to look down at their feet but felt his hand gently tilt her chin up so she was looking at his face again.
“I will lead ye,” he murmured. “ye dinnae need tae look down.”
She nodded and let out something like a squeak, which made him laugh.
“I-I am sorry, I just—” she stuttered.
“Ye have nay reason tae apologize,” he said, shaking his head. “I was just questioning if I had married a woman or a mouse.”
“I-I beg your pardon?” she asked with a gasp.
“I apologize,” he chuckled. “I was merely jesting.”
“Ah, right,” she said, flushing harder.
“I will make sure my joke is clearer next time,” he said softly.
“Thank you,” she nodded, still feeling his warmth on her chin.
The pair of them continued to dance, much to the delight of the rest of the clan who whooped and clapped for their Laird and their new Lady.
But then the music picked up.
Alice struggled to keep up with the beat, but Evander pulled her closer, making sure that she could move with him.
Then, he pulled her wrist up and twirled her around again.
Alice’s eyes widened. Then she smiled. Evander’s expression softened again as he took in the slight dimples on her cheeks and the way her eyes creased at the corners.
He was becoming much too eager to see her real smile again.
There she is.
As she spun, he realized he could smell something that he had not been able to before. It was not meat, nor ale. It was like roses and rainwater. His heart stuttered as he realized it was coming from her. He had never had a woman near him smell so sweet and innocent.
It took all of his strength not to pull her into him and bury his nose in her hair.
He would need to make sure that the stillroom was ready for her to have more of the perfume she was wearing.
He shook his head and spun her again. She let out a joyous laugh.
Alice’s blue eyes were bright and warm in the candlelight.
He could not help but smile at her in return.
He had heard of joy being infectious before, but he had not experienced it in some years. Not since—
He did not allow himself to finish that thought.
He pulled her closer so he could speak to her as they danced, his breath brushing the outside of her ear, making her shiver.
“Ye look beautiful today,” he said softly.
“Thank you,” she replied, her hands resting on his chest as she did her best to steady herself. “You are quite dapper yourself.”
“Dapper?” he asked with a grin. “Here, we use that to mean quick or strong.”
“Well, you are those things,” she said, her voice almost breathless. “But in England we also use it to mean good-looking.”
Evander barked out a laugh, a sound that caused Alice to startle slightly. She pulled back slightly, trying to read his face, only finding happiness in the creases around his eyes. He shook his head and held her tightly again.
“Ye English lasses use the strangest of words,” he said fondly.
“Och, and ye Scots don’t?” she asked, mocking his accent teasingly, making him grin more.
“We’ll have ye speaking like a proper Scotswoman yet,” he said, before he spun her again, making her burst into laughter that reverberated around the room. The rest of the clan watched, grinning with them.
There was only one sour face in the room.
Leopold watched, his mouth contorting into a disgusted sneer. His sister was dancing and laughing as if she had lost all sense of propriety after just one night in Scotland.
“She is enjoying herself too much,” he muttered into his ale. He frowned. It was different from the ale usually served here. He took a deep drink, trying to assure himself that he was imagining things.
“Well, it is a wedding,” Keith said, appearing at Leopold’s side, making the Englishman choke on his ale. “It would be strange for the bride and groom to be unhappy, would it not, Sassenach?”
“I am well aware that is an insult,” Leopold growled at the man.
“And what will ye do about it?” Keith asked. “Challenge me to a duel?”
“Why you—” Leopold blustered, slamming down his tankard.
The people around him laughed, and Leopold’s face went red. He looked around. Many of these people he had seen at the jousting match. He snarled. He would never allow them to see the mortification that was growing around him, seeping into even his bones. He grabbed the tankard again.
“I do not need to stay here and be insulted by a savage,” he hissed, taking his coat and storming out of the Great Hall with his drink. The sound of his exit was masked by the music and laughter.
Alice did not notice. For once, her eyes were not on her family, her mind distant from the feelings of her brother. She was focused on Evander, and he was focused on her.
The dancing went on for hours, until the sun had set and the moon had taken its place. Eventually, Evander could feel that Alice was beginning to fatigue. He took her hand and led her away from the dancing.
“Are ye quite alright?” he murmured.
“I am not used to so much dancing,” she admitted with a slight laugh. Evander nodded.
“Perhaps we should go to bed?” he asked gently.
He felt Alice stiffen and she glanced out at the room.
She saw many expectant faces looking back at her.
It was as if she had been thrown into a cold river.
She reminded herself why she was there. She pursed her lips and nodded, taking a hold of his hand.
He could feel it slightly trembling in his own.
“Yes,” she whispered. “We should.”
“Then let us go,” he said, quietly leading her out of the Great Hall.
A loud cheer was heard from the clan at their exit.
They both ascended the stone stairs again, and Alice could feel her heart thumping in her chest. The moonlight led their way, flickering candles letting up soft streams of smoke as they passed them.
The keep felt quieter now that they had left the Great Hall.
Their steps echoed around them, making Alice deeply aware of just how big the keep actually was when there were no servants running around it.
They walked the same hall that held Alice’s chambers but walked past them.
She glanced as they went past her chambers.
Evander could see her making the mental calculations about how he had to walk past her bed chambers to get to his own.
Alice glanced up at him, opened her mouth, and then closed it again, deciding not to speak on the matter.
Soon, they came to the doors of what she assumed were his chambers.
Inside was much grander than her own chambers. The bed was larger, the windows looking out onto the expanse of land behind the keep, and the larger hearth already lit for the night.
Alice was not naive. She was well aware of what would be expected of her on her first night, and maybe every night after.
In all the excitement and speed of the day, she had not had a moment to prepare herself for this.
She watched as he untied his hair. Her new husband was a large, tall man.
She could not see a world in which he would be gentle to her, despite how he had been for the rest of the time she had been there.
She looked down at her shaking hands. She reached up and started to remove some of her jewelry.
The metal clanked on the side table, catching Evander’s attention.
He watched her for a moment and could almost feel the nervousness coming from her.
The firelight illuminated him, creating a halo around his dark hair.
He stepped toward her, and Alice’s heart thundered in her chest. She looked up at his dark green eyes that were flickering with the light of the candles.
“Ye are nervous,” he said softly.
“I am,” she whispered. “But I am ready, my Laird.”
“I know,” he said, reaching up to cup her cheek. The warmth of his touch spread around her, and she felt herself leaning into his palm.
I am being ridiculous…
But as she looked up at him again, she did not feel ridiculous. She just felt her heart racing and the intensity of his gaze. Evander leaned closer. For a moment, their noses brushed, their breath mingled.
Alice closed her eyes, her breath hitching.
He pressed his lips to hers. They were warm and soft against hers. For a moment, her whole world collapsed into just the touch between them and the warmth she felt from him.
Then, just before she could lose herself in his kiss, he pulled back.
She opened her eyes, confused. Evander stepped back, smiling warmly, before he climbed into the bed and closed his eyes. For a moment, she was left standing at the side of the bed.
What?
She opened her mouth to ask questions and then closed it again. What would she even ask at this moment?
Why had he not bedded her?
Why had he just pecked her lips?
Why did she want him to go further than he had despite her nerves?
She did not even dare acknowledge the disappointment that was coursing through her. Quietly, she changed out of her wedding gown and into the sleep clothes that had been prepared for her. She lay next to him, watching him breathe, her eyebrows still furrowed.
“What a confusing man,” she sighed before turning over and closing her eyes.
Evander opened one eye as she spoke, watching her turn away from him.
He knew she would not understand, and it had not been her fault he just…
He could not do it.
Not tonight.
The kiss had taken all of his composure, and he would not risk losing himself in the moment. Eventually, they would need to make heirs, but that could happen in the weeks, days, months, or years to come.
For tonight, he could wait. She would have to wait.
He closed his eyes again, allowing sleep to take him.
Around them, the keep continued to celebrate, unaware of the strange scene taking place in the laird’s chambers. The clan had a new Lady, and the drinking and dancing would continue into the morning.
It was what they had needed.
What Evander had needed.
Eventually the fires would die down, and the alcohol would lead them all to the beds. That time was not yet close. The moon was high, the sun was asleep.
Why would he waste a perfectly good wedding night?