Chapter Twelve The Morning After
Chapter Twelve
The Morning After
Golden light filled Evander’s chambers, bringing with it a warmth that was unusual at this time of year.
Somewhere outside, birds began their morning chorus, and the rest of creation awoke with it.
Evander had woken up just before the birds.
He had spent most of his time awake watching Alice sleep.
Her chest rose and fell with every soft breath she took, and her cheeks were still flushed.
His body wanted to hold her tighter, keep her closer, make it so she could never leave him.
His mind, however, was not agreeing with this. It all felt too calm. Too serene.
He was feeling too much for her when he should not be feeling anything at all. But last night… She had well and truly pulled him in.
Ye shouldnae have done that Evander. Ye ken it nae be safe for ye to fall in love. If ye do…
His eyes drifted shut. Behind his eyelids he saw beds of heather, someone’s smile, the sunset over the cliffs that final night.
Then, screams entered his head. His brother.
He felt his feet running, but no matter how fast he ran, he could not get there in time.
His lungs burned, his head pounded, his hand bled.
He could feel the heather brushing his ankles, hear her laugh, the bright and easy kind that made a man forget himself.
She had turned to say something to him, a hand outstretched.
“Evander!” a distant voice called. “Stop! Dinnae—”
Evander gasped and sat up in the bed. His heartbeat roared in his ears before anything else returned to him.
Then, his lungs caught up, dragging in air too fast and too shallow.
He looked down at his hand. No blood. Cold sweat dripped down his back, his breath was shallow, his eyes wild as he looked around his chambers again.
“Mmm?” the woman stirred slightly on the bed. He looked down at her. Pale hair, soft freckles, blue eyes.
“Fiona?” he whispered. He blinked once, twice, three times.
Alice…
He felt sick. He had not realized the similarities until now. Alice’s eyes blinked open before sliding shut again. She was not fully in the waking world. Evander ran his hand down his face.
Ye fool…
He lay back next to her, pulling the covers back over her shoulders. She snuggled into him, mumbling something.
“Shh,” he hushed, running a gentle hand through her hair. “Sleep. Ye have nothin’ tae do today. So please just… Rest…”
It did not take long for Alice’s body to obey his instructions. She was soon limp again, her chest rising and falling. He watched her carefully, as if he did not, she would turn into Fiona again. He sighed.
It was just a trick of the light…
He kissed her forehead gently.
“Sleep well,” he whispered, before gently sneaking out of the bed.
He went to the basin, washing himself over with the leftover water before finding his clothes again.
He glanced in the looking glass as he went to put on his shirt.
The bandage was still in place from the night before.
He tugged it gently. It did not move. Alice had done well.
He sighed in relief and tried to roll it.
Sharp pain shot through his arm and he had to bite his bottom lip hard to stop himself from crying out.
He took a steadying breath and caught himself on the wall.
“I will get someone tae look at it, later,” he grumbled to himself as he pulled on the last of his clothes.
He started for the door but hesitated. He looked back at his bed.
Alice was asleep, her hair fanned out around her like a golden halo that flowed in the morning sun.
He remembered her sweet noises and soft looks from the night before.
His face flushed as he thought about the way she had clung to him, the pressure of her nails in his back.
I’ll have tae make sure the physician dinnae ask about those marks…
For a moment, all he could do was watch her. Then, he looked away from her.
If he looked at her again, he would crawl right back into bed. If he did that, then he might break every promise he had ever made to himself.
He knew he had to do better for her, he could not hurt her like he had done last night, but if he did not, then he would fall in love with her.
Worse, she might fall in love with him. He could not let that happen to someone as sweet and pure as she was.
He walked out of his chambers, his boots thudding hard as he walked down the hallway.
A few hours later, Alice stirred in the bed.
She blindly reached out for Evander, her eyes mostly closed.
Instead of his warm body, her hand only found cold and empty sheets.
Some part of her tried to hold onto some sort of a memory from this morning, but it slipped away like sand through her fingers, aside from the feeling of his lips on her forehead.
She finally opened her eyes fully. He was not there.
She had wanted to wake slowly, tangled with him, his voice rough with sleep as he said her name.
Instead, there was only the coldness, and the space that felt larger than it had any right to.
She sat up. For a moment, her heart stuttered, worried.
Then, she remembered that Molly had told her that the laird was sometimes awake and working early.
She sighed and cuddled into the sheets again.
She wished he could have been there with her when she woke up.
She wanted more affection and kisses. Her mind filled with thoughts of what had happened, her cheeks flushing at the memory of his touches, the way he moved, his mouth on her.
She pulled the sheets over her head, too flustered to let the world see her like this.
After a few moments, she managed to regain herself. She needed to get up. There were things that needed her attention.
She wished they didn’t.
She gathered up her undergarments and loosely pulled on her arisaid.
Dressing properly would have to wait until she was in her own chambers.
Slowly, she snuck out of his chambers, making sure nobody was in the hallway, before she went back into her own chambers.
She shut the door behind her and slid down it.
“Did ye find him last night?” Molly asked, making Alice scream in surprise.
“Molly! Do not startle me like that!” Alice gasped.
“I apologize,” Molly said, running to her.
“I was so worried about ye. I did nae see ye come home last night, and Catriona said ye needed bandages and water, and then ye were not in yer chambers and…” The maid suddenly took in the fact that Alice was holding her undergarments and her arisaid was not on her properly. “My lady…”
“I am alright,” Alice squeaked out. “I am alright, I just…” she could feel her cheeks getting redder and redder as understanding lit up Molly’s eyes. “Say nothing.”
“I was nae goin’ tae say a word,” Molly said, clearly attempting to suppress a smile.
“Liar,” Alice said. “Just… help me dress.”
“Are ye sure ye dinnae need a bath?” Molly grinned.
“Dinnae tease me,” Alice grumbled.
“I am nae teasin’ ye!” Molly laughed. “But, just to confirm. Ye were successful, aye?”
Alice groaned and covered her face.
“Yes,” she whispered. Molly practically screamed with glee and took Alice’s hands.
“Congratulations, my lady!” Molly gasped. “Ye have done well.”
“I do not feel like I have,” Alice groaned.
“I have been tellin’ ye the first time is always the hardest,” Molly said.
“It isn’t that,” Alice sighed. “He was not there in the morning. He had already gone. I know you said he does that but…” she felt ridiculous even having these thoughts, but they were so difficult to banish. “What if I did something he did not like?”
Alice felt the tears from the night before rising in her again. She rapidly tried to blink them away. Molly’s expression softened and she pulled Alice into a tight hug.
“I am sure ye were wonderful, my lady, and ye are worryin’ over nothin’. Ye ken he is nae doin’ it tae be cruel,” Molly murmured. “He has duties in the early mornin’ sometimes. He will be back before ye ken and then I am sure ye will feel better.”
“I hope so,” Alice said into her shoulder.
“Ye ken I am right more often than I am not,” Molly teased. “Now, come, ye need a bath to relax after last night. It sounds like it were a bit of an adventure.”
“It was,” Alice laughed wetly as they pulled back.
She took a steadying breath, trying to calm herself as Molly collected new undergarments, the hair comb, and a new dress for Alice to wear.
The pair of them went toward the bathing chambers, water already being warmed.
Catriona and Siobhan were in there. They both gave her expectant looks.
Alice nodded. The two women beamed happily.
“Congratulations,” Catriona said softly.
“Thank you,” Alice said.
“The laird left her alone this mornin’,” Molly explained.
“I assume he was busy?” Siobhan asked.
“That is what I be assumin’” Molly said. “Come, our lady needs cleanin’, and needs to rest her head. She does nae need us chatterin’ around her like gossipin’ birds.”
Alice laughed slightly, letting the maids undress her and help her into the bath.
Catriona noticed a mark on the side of Alice’s neck and gasped, but Molly quickly smacked her on the side of the arm to shut her up.
Siobhan watched, biting her bottom lip to stifle a laugh.
Alice did not notice. She was more focused on the warmth of the bath as she sank into the water.
She had not realized her muscles had been tight and sore from the night before.
Not in a way that she disliked, more in a way that indicated they had been used in a way she was not used to.
Perhaps a way she would like them to be used again.