Chapter One
The clang of the swords rang out from the training grounds, a sharp sound that broke through the quiet of the misty early morning air. The cold, damp breeze carried with it the scent of burning wood from the cook fires below.
The stone battlement of the keep was weathered and scarred by time. Yet, it stood tall, piercing the sky proudly, securing its place among the rolling Highlands.
MacKenzie stood at the battlements, her fingers tracing the rough stone as her eyes remained fixed on the winding, snake-like path, leading to her home.
Any minute now, she thought eagerly to herself.
It was a struggle to contain her excitement because it would not be long before Callum would be home, and she would be able to stare into his piercing blue eyes once again.
A year was too long. Far too long to be without him, but duty had called. He had led the successful campaign against the MacLeans, and was due back very soon.
Outwardly, MacKenzie kept her composure. She hoped that she was the only one who could hear her heart thundering against her rib cage. She could not help but wonder what the year apart had done to Callum.
Would he be the same lad that she had always known?
More importantly, had he spent the last year thinking of her endlessly, the same way she had him?
Nervously, she tucked a dark strand of her wavy hair behind her ear, not wanting it to get in the way.
The sound of hooves came first. MacKenzie’s eyes narrowed as the horses finally came into view, with riders on their backs, drawing nearer to the gate with every passing moment. The men rode with banners sky-high, their armor glinting in the rays of sun, but she could not yet pick him out.
MacKenzie rose to her tiptoes, straining her eyes. Any attempt to remain composed flew out the window as she sensed him nearing her. Being reunited with Callum had kept her awake for most of the night, and now she could hardly contain herself.
Mostly he appeared the same. His dark hair had not changed, nor had his chiseled jawline, but Callum had a new air about him now. He seemed broader, stronger, maybe darker…
It seemed that he had returned a hardened warrior.
“Mistress MacKenzie…” She turned to see her ladies’ maid peeking out behind her curtain of blonde hair. “He has returned.”
MacKenzie tried her hardest to smile, but the nerves got the better of her. Silently, she cursed herself for the tremor in her voice she seemed unable to hide.
“Do ye think he will be different?” Ava continued, seemingly oblivious to MacKenzie’s inner turmoil. “Harder, perhaps? Who kens what he has seen.”
MacKenzie swallowed hard. “I am not too sure.”
The worry caused her to hesitate. She might have been keen to race towards him only moments before, but now there was something holding her back. What if everything was different now?
“Ye should go see him,” Ava encouraged. “I am sure he is keen tae see ye too.”
MacKenzie met Ava’s eyes, probably revealing way too much of herself, before she nodded slowly.
But it was hard for her to move. Her legs felt like lead, her whole body heavy, but she somehow made it down the steps. Her pulse raced in her ears and her stomach continued to do flip-flops, but she knew that this was the best thing she could do.
The sooner she overcame these fears and reminded herself that Callum would always be the same boy inside, the better.
The moment her feet hit the stone floor of the courtyard, she could see Callum dismounting from his steed. As he greeted her father, MacKenzie could feel her mouth running dry.
He seemed to overshadow everyone else, towering with a presence of quiet authority. MacKenzie kept back while she studied him, trying to find a glimmer of the lad she adored so desperately inside. But it was challenging, when his attention was taken up by everyone else…
But then he seemed to sense her eyes upon him, and Callum finally turned to face her.
A smile automatically spread across her face the moment their eyes locked in. There he was. Underneath it all, she could see him, and that was all that mattered.
“MacKenzie.” His voice might have been a little rougher than she remembered, but the familiar lilt of his words was all that she needed. “Ye are still here.”
She jutted her chin slightly, trying to mask the wide range of emotions dancing within her.
His lips twitched. Thankfully, he still seemed to like her sense of humor. He had not seen so much at war that he could no longer joke with her.
“Ye have changed.” Perhaps that was something she should not have said, but the words came tumbling out of her regardless. “I dinnae ken if I would like tae spar with ye now.”
He chuckled underneath his breath, before meeting her eyes once more.
“I am not the only one who is different.”
MacKenzie could not understand this remark. She had not left, she had not been on some grand adventure. How could there be anything different about her?
But with her father not too far away, she didn’t think it best to ask just yet.
“How long do ye plan tae stay?” she asked instead.
Although the moment Callum’s expression darkened, she wondered if she should have kept her mouth shut.
“Not long. It seems ye father has plans fer me.”
Why could Callum not simply stay with her? It hardly seemed fair.
MacKenzie’s jaw tightened. “And what dae ye want?”
He hesitated, just long enough for her to feel the weight of his silence.
MacKenzie’s heart twisted painfully, although it was not as if she should have expected anything else. Callum always put duty first, everything he did was for the clan.
“Well then…” She forced a grin, but even MacKenzie knew that the smile didn’t reach her eyes. “Welcome home, warrior.”
He nodded, biting down on his bottom lip, but no words came out.
Their eyes locked, exchanging more words than they were allowed to convey in front of everyone else. MacKenzie could sense a powerful, sizzling energy burning between them. A sensation unlike anything she had ever experienced around Callum before.
It wasn’t just the fiery rush of old affections rekindling, it was something deeper; something much more fragile.
The tension between them was palpable. It was honestly a surprise that everyone else in the courtyard could not feel the sparks and unspoken questions.
She could see it in Callum’s eyes as well, as he fiddled with the locket he always wore around his neck.
The locket his mother had given to him before he ended up lost and living with MacKenzie’s family.
The locket was his comfort blanket, his link to a forgotten past that he hoped to unravel one day, and it was something he always touched and fiddled with when he was dealing with something heavy.
It was undeniable that something had irrevocably shifted. MacKenzie just needed to work out what it was.
“Why didn’t ye write?” she asked quietly, taking a step closer to him, which she immediately knew was a mistake.
The moment she could breathe him in and envelop herself in his deep, musky scent, the rest of the world seemed to fade into nothingness. The clang of the swords, the excited chatter around them, the endless eyes that may well have been looking their way… They no longer meant a thing.
In his bright blue eyes, MacKenzie could now see more. The year of weight and responsibility. The war that must have impacted him in ways that she could not yet understand.
“I thought aboot it, MacKenzie. Every cursed day.”
His gaze dropped as a stab of hurt hit MacKenzie in the heart. She had not intended to let her vulnerability show, and certainly not this early, but when she was around Callum, her truest self shone free. It seemed that was still the truth, even now.
“Because I didn’t ken what tae say,” he finally breathed out. “I left this place, for duty, aye, but also tae find a purpose. Tae become someone worthy, but…” His eyes darkened with memories she was unable to see. “But I fear I became someone else.”
MacKenzie’s heart ached for him so deeply, it was not easy to remain up right.
He looked at her once more, the weight of his gaze almost crushing her.
“A man who has seen too much death. A man who learned that sometimes, no matter how hard ye fight, ye cannae protect those ye care aboot.”
But they won the battle. MacKenzie knew that much. The clan was protected, so what did he mean?
Knowing that he now had all these experiences that she could not even begin to understand was soul-destroying.
Would they ever be able to fully reconnect once more?
While he had been risking his life, and seemingly his soul as well, she had remained here.
Safe behind the thick walls of her father’s keep.
“Ye never needed tae be someone else,” she whispered, desperation lacing her tone. “Ye were perfect just as ye were. No one needed ye tae go oot searching for purpose, and wanting tae be worthy.” By “no one” she meant her. She hoped he knew that. “Ye have always been enough.”
MacKenzie had not even realized how much of himself Callum was hiding away until that very moment. But seeing a true glimmer of who he had been before he left, struck her hard.
“I did think of ye, MacKenzie. Every night. But I had tae bury it, I had tae focus on surviving.”
MacKenzie’s throat tightened with emotion.
Callum looked away, his brow furrowed as he appeared to fight an internal battle that MacKenzie would never be a part of.
“It never is,” she whispered back. “But ye ken ye can trust me. We’ve been through far too much fer ye tae keep ye distance now.”
“What if…” he started, before the words seemed to fall apart on his lips. He sucked in a deep breath before carrying on. “What if I cannae be what ye need?”
MacKenzie no longer cared about anyone watching her. Callum truly needed her, and she ached to be there for him in any way that she could be.
“I dinnae need ye tae be anything but yerself. That is all I’ve ever wanted.”
For a long moment, neither of them said a word. Not out loud, anyway, but feelings buzzed between them. The world shrunk even further, and the year of longing and heartache wrapped around them.
Finally, Callum’s hand came up to cover hers, his fingers tracing familiar feeling patterns all over her skin.
Did he not realize that the only painful thing he had done was leave? She knew it would not be an easy ask, which was why she kept the words inside for now, but she wished that he would forget about duty, just for once, and that he would choose her.
In her mind’s eye, she had always envisioned a future for the two of them, right here in the Scottish Highlands.
But in her imagination, they were always together—always.
The two of them against the world. There was no one else that she could imagine committing to forever.
No one else that she could picture having a family with.
It would only ever be him. She just needed Callum to envision that future, too, and to stop worrying about what might have happened in the last year. Yes, they both might have changed, but it didn’t feel that way now that they were back together.
Having her hand in his was the most natural feeling in the world. She never wanted this moment to end.
But the moment did not last nearly long enough. Laird Fergus, MacKenzie’s father’s voice boomed through the courtyard. His commanding voice silenced the murmurs of the gathered crowd.
MacKenzie took a slight step away from Callum as her father’s eyes fell upon her. The look in his eyes sent a painful feeling shuddering down her spine. What on earth was happening now?
“My daughter, MacKenzie…” The mention of her name caused her blood to run cold. “Is tae be wed.”
The words slapped into her like an icy wind, almost knocking her from her feet. Any warmth she had been experiencing only moments before completely vanished. She felt like she was in the middle of a dream.
Who was she to be wed to? And why was she only finding this out now?
“And the man she is tae marry,” her father continued. “Is Donald, son of Laird Auchter.”
MacKenzie’s knees were weak. It took all the strength that she had not to fall over.
The name alone was enough to turn her stomach. He was known throughout the Highlands for his cruel nature. He was a man who ruled through fear and violence. Not the sort of man MacKenzie wanted anything to do with at all.
A strategic marriage, it had to be. To strengthen alliances, but at the cost of her safety. Why would her father do such a thing to her?
Feeling Callum stiffen beside her only helped a little. It was good to know that she was not alone in this feeling, but it didn’t change a thing. There was nothing that he could do.
“This union will bring peace between our clans,” Fergus declared, as if the matter were already settled. “It is a great honor for us all. Ye are to leave soon, and Callum will be escorting ye to Autcher’s Keep.”
The world started to spin, far too quickly. Callum was to witness her tragic fate? Surely, her father wanted to remind him of his place. How cruel…
MacKenzie wanted to run, but it was as if her body could not move at all. She was trapped in one place, stuck here, with the name Donald whirling around her.
“MacKenzie,” Callum whispered. “Is this what ye want?”
She could not ignore the shaking in his voice, the way he seemed utterly gutted to have her slip through his fingers like this. It caused tears to brim in the corners of her eyes.
She did not want to give anyone the satisfaction.
Especially not while everyone was staring at her expectantly, wanting her to embrace this as if it were the best news she had ever heard.
“What I want doesnae seem tae matter,” she bit back. “It seems tae already be decided.”
Yet as she looked up into Callum’s eyes, and she saw a flicker of defiance there, she knew. If he wasn’t ready to give up on them so easily, then neither was she. It did not matter how impossible it felt in the heat of the moment, if he wanted to fight for them, then she would do whatever it took.