Chapter 4
Silence fell over them, and Olivia felt terribly uneasy. The hatred in Nurkirk’s eyes had shocked her, and she was convinced the man had been lying when he denied threatening them. Partly seeking reassurance and partly wanting to show her support for Edan, she reached out and grabbed his hand.
When he turned to look at her, Olivia could see from the darkness in his eyes that he was seething inside. The force of his contained fury was like a physical blow.
Believing that it must be directed at her, that Edan believed she had something to do with plotting to replace him through another marriage, she hurried to convince him otherwise.
“Ye must believe me, Edan. I had nothin’ to do with all of this. I’ve never even met that man before, let alone discussed marriage with him. It was the council who started all this, under the pretext—”
“Hush,” Edan told her in a voice that belied the cold fury in his eyes. “Dinnae say another word.”
To her immense surprise, he cupped her face in his hands and brushed his thumb over her lips with a tenderness she could never have imagined he possessed. She quivered beneath his touch.
“There’s some urgent business I must see to, but I’ll meet ye in yer chambers later.” Then, looking intently into her eyes, he added in a soft voice that sent shivers through her, “After tonight, nay one will doubt that ye’re mine.”
As quickly as he had cupped her face, he released her and strode to the door, leaving without looking back.
Dazed and confused, Olivia stood looking after him. Unconsciously, her hand rose to her lips, her fingertips lightly tracing where he had touched them. It felt as though they were on fire.
“What are ye doin’ on yer knees, Megan? Sayin’ yer prayers?” Olivia asked jokingly as she entered her chambers, went over to the bed, and laid out clean clothing on top.
“Nay, I’m doin’ what needs to be done before ye retire tonight,” Megan explained, holding up a hunk of bread and a small dish of salt.
“Oh? And what, pray tell, is that?” Olivia asked, standing with her hands on hips, watching while the maid carefully placed the bread and salt beneath the bed.
Megan dropped the counterpane back into place and smoothed it before rising to her feet. “Why, ’tis an offerin’ to the gods, to ensure that ye and the Laird have good luck and that ye give him many strong bairns,” she explained, dusting off her hands.
“So, ’tis a sort of fertility blessing?” Olivia asked, starting to laugh at Megan’s perfect sincerity.
“Aye, that’s exactly what it is, Me Lady. And ye shouldnae laugh at such things. ’Tis serious.”
“I’m sorry, Megan. I didnae mean to laugh,” Olivia apologized, unable to stop her giggles.
The maid’s russet eyebrows drew together in a frown. “I ken ye dinnae believe in such traditions, Me Lady, but I do. And even if ye dinnae believe in them, ’tis best to take nay chances.”
Olivia stopped laughing and took the girl’s hand fondly. “Thank ye, Meg. I suppose ye’re right, and it cannae do any harm.”
Megan’s frown faded but quickly returned when Olivia added mischievously, “Except to attract an army of mice.”
The maid huffed. “I brought up a tray of cold supper for ye and the Laird, in case ye get hungry, seein’ as ye didnae go down for supper. ‘’Tis on the table over there. There’s wine and ale as well.”
Olivia curbed her laughter, not wishing to upset her friend. “Thank ye, that’s very thoughtful of ye, Meg. I’m grateful.”
She was indeed, because, with her anxiety almost at fever pitch, food was the last thing on her mind.
Megan’s grin reassured her that she was not offended. “Well, the hot water for yer bath will be here soon. I’ll fetch the tub.”
After she had bathed, Megan helped Olivia change into the white, lace-trimmed nightdress and matching robe that she had brought with her a year ago as part of her wedding trousseau.
For obvious reasons, she had never had occasion to wear it, but she had planned to wear it on her wedding night, hoping to please her new husband.
“Och, ye look stunnin’, Me Lady!” Megan gushed, smoothing the flimsy silk over Olivia’s hips and then admiring her handiwork in the full-length mirror. “If that doesnae have the Laird’s eyes poppin’ out of his head, then I dinnae ken what will.” She gave Olivia a cheeky wink.
Olivia looked at her reflection, having second thoughts about the ensemble. “Aye, it is pretty,” she admitted, wondering if it was wise to provoke Edan’s lust by wearing such a provocative outfit.
He could rip the flimsy garments off her with one finger if he so wished.
Is that what I want? Nay! I shall scream and try to run.
Then again, the idea of a slow, gentle seduction was equally as alarming.
Glancing in the mirror, she was shocked to see how frightened she looked. At last, overwhelmed by her fears, she decided to confide them to Megan, hoping it might help.
“This will be the first time I’ll be sharin’ me bed with me husband, and the marriage will finally be consummated. But, Megan, Edan is naught but a stranger to me. How on earth am I goin’ to go through with it?” she asked anxiously.
Megan gave her a sympathetic smile. “Me Lady, ’tis understandable that ye’re nervous. Why, any lass is nervous about her first time, so I’m told. I wish I could make ye feel better about tonight. ’Tis a real shame that ye and the Laird havenae been able to spend time together beforehand.
“It would be wonderful if he had the time to court ye, to be sure. But as that’s nae the case, maybe if ye try to think of tonight as the start of ye finally gettin’ to ken each other properly as husband and wife, ye might feel a wee bit better.”
Her words, though kindly meant, gave Olivia not the slightest bit of comfort.
When Megan had left, Olivia sat by the fire with a book in her hands. She meant to read to try to distract herself from her growing fears. But every time she tried, the words on the page danced before her eyes. Eventually, she sighed in defeat and let the book fall to her lap.
When the door finally opened, she almost jumped out of her skin.
Edan stepped into the room, his arrival propelling her to her feet.
They stood for a few moments looking at each other, the crackling of the fire the only sound in the room, although the repetitive thump of her racing heart sounded loudly in her head.
Edan did not speak, but a half-smile suggesting his appreciation appeared on his lips as he slowly looked her up and down. Olivia could only remain rooted to the spot, blushing scarlet to her roots, feeling as if she were naked.
She half expected him to lay hold of her immediately and ravish her, so it felt like a respite when he merely came over to join her by the hearth and sank into the wingback leather chair opposite hers.
Hardly knowing what to do with herself, Olivia remained standing, twisting her fingers nervously at her waist, desperately searching her mind for a way to get out of what she was sure was coming.
Finally, noticing how weary he looked, she mustered her courage and summoned a smile. Meeting his eyes, she said, “After a year away fightin’ a war, ye must be very tired. We dinnae have to do this tonight, ye ken. We’ve waited a year already. It willnae matter if we put it off a while longer.”
Edan’s half-smile vanished abruptly. Olivia quaked, watching his expression harden as he studied her silently—the cold mask she was rapidly becoming familiar with.
After a moment, he asked, “Would ye rather have yer betrothed here tonight instead of me, then?”
There was no real heat in his voice, but the mention of Nurkirk as her betrothed irked her.
She looked at Edan haughtily, determined to strike back. “Perhaps I would.”
At her sharp retort, Edan’s already impenetrable gaze seemed to darken further. His lips pursed, he leaned forward in his seat and said in a low, harsh voice, “I’m yer husband. I warn ye now, dinnae ever challenge me like that again, or I’ll nae be responsible for what happens.”
But Olivia, already angry, found his threat even more vexing, and she could not hold her tongue.
“But ye’re nae me husband, are ye?” she snapped, heedless of the way his dark eyebrows drew sharply together and his jaw tightened. “Nae in the true sense anyway. Ye havenae claimed me maidenhood yet!”
Silence fell between them, heavy with tension. Edan’s expressionless mask did not waver as his eyes bored into hers. But she stubbornly held her head high, determined not to cower, however much he threatened her.
It took her by surprise when he suddenly waved her over to him. “Come and stand over here, in front of me.”
There was no doubt it was a command, but his voice was softer than before.
After a moment’s hesitation, she obeyed and went to stand in front of him.
“Come and sit here,” he told her, gesturing to his lap.
Olivia was shocked by the invitation. Her already racing heart fluttered madly, and she felt herself flushing from head to toe. But she could find no real reason to protest. He was her husband, after all. So, she did as she was told and eased herself as gracefully as she could onto his lap.
The heat from his thighs easily burned through the layers of flimsy silk separating them, and Olivia was terribly conscious that her breasts were only inches from his face.
She could not bring herself to look at him.
When he put his hands on her thighs, she stiffened, and her breath caught in her throat.
This is it, she realized frantically.
But he only stroked and caressed her thighs, running his hands over the smooth material slowly as if in deep appreciation.
It was not at all what Olivia had expected.
To her further consternation, she found herself starting to enjoy his touch, the slow movements of his large, warm hands over her thighs making her skin feel pleasantly hot and tingly.
This stroking went on for some minutes, with the crackling of the fire the only sound in the room.
Eventually, unable to stand the tension any longer, Olivia dared to look him in the eyes. It was a shock to find him already looking at her, his usually stony face only inches from hers, a hungry expression on it.
It was such a striking difference, lending him a certain air of vulnerability, that she found herself softening towards him.
Desperate to relieve some of the unbearable tension between them, not knowing if she was doing the right thing, she tried to lighten the mood by asking jokingly, “My, ye are takin’ yer time. Is that somethin’ I should be concerned about?”
A ghost of a smile played on his lips as he shook his head gently. “Nay, nae at all, lass. I just like to enjoy me victories… slowly,” he answered, his eyes fixed on hers as he slowly leaned in.
This is it! Me husband is about to kiss me for the first time!
Time seemed to slow down as his lips approached hers, and in those final moments, her inner voice was telling her not to fight it, to do nothing to stop it, to just let it happen.
But just as his lips were about to touch hers, anxiety gripped her, and she put her hand on his chest and cried, “Wait!”
Edan stopped. With a strange look on his face, he leaned back. Olivia, her poor heart thumping, was grateful for the breathing space.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice neutral.
Olivia struggled for a moment to find the right words to describe what was wrong.
When she thought she had them, she began hesitantly, “I-I cannae do it—nae like this, as strangers.” She glanced at him and saw he was listening.
So, she went on. “I-I’d like the chance to get to ken ye a bit first before… before ye claim me.”
There was an ominous silence that lasted several moments, during which she became convinced that an explosion was in the offing. But none came. Instead, he repeated her words thoughtfully, his eyes searching her face. “The chance to get to ken me?”
Emboldened by his unexpectedly mild reaction, Olivia voiced the proposal that had rapidly formed in her mind.
“Aye. If ye dinnae mind, I’d like to be wooed a little. Courted. If we could have five dates, five times when we spend time together, go out and do somethin’, then we wouldnae be strangers anymore. It would make me feel better. And after that, I promise I’ll give meself to ye.”
She waited on tenterhooks while Edan regarded her silently, expecting him to refuse. But it seemed the man was full of surprises, not all of them unpleasant.
He leaned forward again until he was close enough to kiss her, his breath tickling her skin, sending shivers up her spine.
Her heart sank. Her attempt to buy herself some time had failed. She closed her eyes and steeled herself for the kiss, and everything else that would follow.