Chapter 9
Over the following two days, Olivia went through the motions of everyday life, trying to appear calm and cheerful to those around her. But in truth, she felt confused, rejected, and extremely vulnerable after the cold way Edan had treated her following their kiss.
On top of that, she was shocked by her own response to it. She had never kissed a man before. How could anything have prepared her for the sheer, passionate force of his mouth plundering hers, or the answering fire it had ignited within her? She felt irrevocably changed.
Despite secretly brooding over what had happened, she was still glad he was not leaving, at least for Greta’s sake.
However, the thought of facing him again was daunting.
But by the end of the second day, she decided he was probably avoiding her, seemingly immersed in clan matters.
One part of her was grateful, feeling unprepared to deal with him in her current state of emotional upheaval.
But another part of her was bitterly disappointed, believing that under the circumstances, he would not be in a hurry to come and find her to take her on their second outing, if at all.
With things as they stood, she dared not approach Edan about her idea of hosting a celebration for The Turning of the Light.
Instead, seeking both comfort and distraction from her troubles, she took refuge in the gentle company of Greta and the maids and threw herself into planning the preparations for the St. Patrick’s Day festival that was due to take place that year on the seventeenth of March.
On the afternoon of the third day after the kiss, she was sitting in the solar with them, going over the shopping list they had been slowly compiling.
She intended to take it to the market with her that day, to purchase the supplies they needed to make the necessary decorations.
She thought a walk alone in the fresh, wintry air might help to clear her head and settle her thoughts.
“So, we shall need colored paper, several reels of orange, yellow and green ribbon for the decorations, some strong sewing thread, string, six or seven yards of broadcloth for the floats for the procession. Och, and I’ll try to get some gold and silver thread if they have it.
Can ye think of anything else I’ve forgotten? ”
She sat with the quill poised in her hand, looking around at the other ladies inquiringly.
“Some colored paints might come in handy, glue if they have some so we willnae have to make it, and some of those pretty paper garlands as well,” Greta suggested.
“Very well, I’ll add those to the list.” Olivia duly noted them down. “Anythin’ else?”
“I expect we’ll think of somethin’ after ye’ve gone,” Greta joked. “That’s the usual way of things.”
The four of them shared a laugh, though Olivia could summon no real mirth. Finally, she rose to her feet.
“Very well, I had better be on me way. I shall try nae to be too long,” she said, taking her leave of them, looking forward to the solitary walk and having a few hours of shopping to distract herself.
Megan followed her out of the room and into her chambers.
“I’m comin’ with ye, Me Lady,” she said as they entered the room.
“There’s nay need, Megan. I’ll be all right by meself,” Olivia assured her, sitting down to put on her sturdiest walking boots.
There had been another heavy frost that night which still lingered out of doors, and she did not want to risk slipping and hurting herself.
“But ye’ll need another pair of hands, else how will ye carry everythin’?” Megan asked.
“What I cannae carry I’ll have delivered.”
“But ’tis nae safe for ye to go alone,” the maid protested, fetching Olivia’s marten fur cloak and some warm woolen gloves and laying them on the bed.
Olivia had to admire her persistence, but she was not about to relent.
“Whyever nae? I have been many times before on me own. Nobody will notice me, will they? I will just be another shopper among the crowd.”
She stood up and wiggled her toes to make sure her boots were comfortable. Satisfied, she crossed to the bed, fastened the cloak around her shoulders, and pulled on the gloves.
“Pass me that straw basket, would ye?” she asked, double-checking her pocket to make sure she had money and the shopping list.
Megan fetched the straw basket with a heavy sigh of frustration and handed it to her. “Let me come with ye, Me Lady, please. I just have a bad feelin’ about ye goin’ by yerself.”
“Ach, pish! Ye always have a bad feelin’ about somethin’ or other,” Olivia said with a dismissive laugh as she made for the door.
“But the bird, Me Lady. The one that flew into the window. I told ye, ’tis an omen,” the maid insisted, stepping in front of her, a pleading expression on her face.
“Thank ye for yer concern, Megan. ’Tis very touching, but will ye get out of me way, please? As for that blasted bird of yers, how do ye ken it didnae fly in one window and out the other? Now, move aside. I’m goin’.”
Megan sighed again and stepped aside with the greatest reluctance.
Olivia stepped out into the hall, but Megan followed her, and they were still bickering when, to Olivia’s surprise, Edan appeared on the landing and strode towards them. She immediately halted, feeling her cheeks heating up with embarrassment.
“What’s this? Arguin’, are ye?” he asked when he came up to them.
His piercing gaze settled on Olivia, who looked away, unable to meet his eyes.
Megan bobbed a respectful curtsey, as always, not looking at Edan directly. To Olivia’s annoyance, she blurted out, “Good day, Me Laird. Lady Aberfeld is insistin’ on goin’ to the market by herself, and I dinnae think she should. ’Tis nae safe.”
“Megan!” Olivia hissed, her cheeks growing even hotter. “Will ye hold yer tongue?!”
“Quite right, lass. But ye need nae worry further. I’ll accompany Lady Aberfeld to the market,” Edan declared, taking Olivia completely by surprise. Not taking his eyes off her, he waved a dismissive hand at Megan. “Off ye go now and see to yer duties.”
“Aye, Me Laird,” Megan murmured, flashing Olivia a small smile before scuttling back to her chambers. Olivia glared at her indignantly as she went.
“It seems I arrived at the right time,” Edan said, acting as if nothing untoward had happened between them. “A trip to the market will be ideal for our second outing. What do ye say?”
Olivia, simultaneously flustered and thrilled, finally dared to meet his eyes. She found no trace of awkwardness or embarrassment in them.
If that’s how ’tis goin’ to be, then I might as well go along with it.
Summoning a small smile and a nod, she replied, “Aye, very well.”
“Come along then, while ’tis still daylight,” he said, holding out his arm for her.
Olivia hesitated for a moment before accepting it and allowing him to lead her downstairs.
They left the castle and began walking along the broad track that led across a stretch of fields and then moorland to the nearby village.
Olivia was glad of her fur cloak, for it was bitterly cold.
However, the brightness of the day was invigorating after being cooped up in the castle, and she enjoyed the fresh breeze on her skin.
A wintry sun shone above in a bright azure sky. Cobwebs twinkled on the surrounding gorse bushes like strings of diamonds, and the grass and trees glittered beneath the frost.
It would have been romantic if she had not felt so awkward as they walked in silence. She could not get the kiss out of her mind, and it irked her that Edan seemed to want to pretend it had never happened.
I suppose he’s kissed many women.
She felt a flash of jealousy.
It was just another kiss to him, of little importance.
Even though she was not about to bring it up, she decided she had had enough of the silence and would at least force him to talk to her.
“Do ye recall the purpose of us goin’ on these dates?” she asked as they crossed a small wooden bridge over a rushing burn.
“Do ye think I’ve forgotten then?”
“Well, ye cannae blame me for wonderin’. Ye’ve hardly said a word to me since we left the castle, and since the intention was for us to get to ken each other better, I’m nae sure.”
“I could say the same to ye.”
That stumped her for a moment, but she was not about to give up.
“Very well. In that case, we should both make an effort to talk to each other.”
“What do ye want to talk about?”
“I’d like to ken what’s been keepin’ ye so busy.”
“Just clan business. Nothin’ that would interest ye.”
Olivia bristled at that. “How do ye ken what is or isnae of interest to me, since we hardly ken each other? As ye keep remindin’ me, I’m yer wife. I believe most husbands confide in their wives. This is me clan now. Maybe ye could try tellin’ me somethin’, and then I’ll tell ye if it interests me.”
Infuriatingly, he shrugged. “All right. Last season, we had a good harvest, but the barley did better than the wheat. But that was the same all over, so the price of barley has dropped, which means less income.”
That was not at all what she had expected.
“Och, what a shame,” she said.
“Is that of interest to ye?”
“Well, in itself, nay, but in terms of the clan’s future, I suppose it is.”
“Grand. Because there’s plenty more where that came from. For instance, it’ll soon be time for lambin’, and we expect to do moderately well from that.”
Olivia frowned, suspecting he was stringing her along. “That’s fascinatin’. So, is that what’s been keepin’ ye closeted in yer study all those hours for the last few days?”
“That and other things.”
“What other things?”
“Things that would be of nay interest to ye.”
She huffed in annoyance. “So, ye’re nae goin’ to open up at all?”
“There’s nothin’ to say. ’Tis business, that’s all. Me responsibilities as Laird keep me busy.”
“But ye’re nae too busy today?”
“I found some time.”
“Were ye comin’ to see me back there at the castle?”
“Aye.”
She grew a little exasperated. “For goodness’ sake, are ye goin’ to say more than four words to me at a time?”