Chapter Twenty Six
The car ride home is silent and sombre.
I sit in the back with Tanya, clutching her hand as she weeps softly into her sleeve. Kit’s eyes keep darting to look at her in the rear view mirror, his face lined with distress. On the seventh occasion, I catch his gaze and shoot him a reassuring smile that says I’ve got this. He smiles back, and resolves to keep his attention on the road.
Thankfully, traffic is minimal, and it isn’t long before we pull up onto the drive of the Brooks’ residence. Still in awe of the grand home, I have to refrain from rubbing at my eyes as I step out of the car onto the gravelled ground.
‘I can’t believe you live here,’ I mutter into Kit’s ear as he fumbles for his house keys. ‘I didn’t have you pegged as a rich boy.’
‘Well, it’s not something I advertise. Besides, this is my parents’ wealth, not mine.’
Once inside, Kit mixes up three mugs of smooth hot chocolate, topped with lashings of cream and rainbow sprinkles. He cosies up next to his sister on the big orange sofa, and I hover beside the coffee table, feeling a bit of a spare part. After I’ve finished this drink, I’ll take my leave - I doubt neither Kit nor Tanya want me hanging around at a time like this.
‘Are you planning to stand there like a lemon all evening?’ Kit pats the cushion next to him. ‘Come on, sit.’
Though I try hard to conceal it, there’s a distinct sense of unease crawling beneath my skin, as if I’d be doing something wrong and inappropriate by simply joining the Brooks on their sofa. And yet, the moment I squeeze in next to Kit and involuntarily breathe in his fresh, sandalwood scent, all that guilt and fear melts away.
‘How are you feeling, Tanya?’ I ask, leaning forward so I can see her properly on the other side of her brother.
Knees to her chest, she shrugs sulkily. ‘Wishing I was in France. Or anywhere else.’
‘I’ve got an idea, why don’t we bring a touch of France to Lily Vale?’ I make a grab for the TV remote on the coffee table and scour the streaming services on offer. ‘I’d love to introduce you guys to French cinema.’
Tanya reluctantly agrees and the three of us crowd up together to watch Les Enfants du Paradis, a big salty bowl of popcorn wedged between us.
Twenty minutes in, Kit throws his arms up in defeat.
‘Okay, I don’t get this at all.’
‘It’s because you’re not paying attention!’ Chortling, I bash him with a cushion.
‘He never does,’ Tanya rolls her eyes jovially. I’m glad to see my movie plan has cheered her up, at least for now.
‘Hey, it’s not easy to concentrate on the film and read the subtitles all at once.’
‘Well, I’m managing just fine.’ Tanya nudges her brother. ‘I know my plan today wasn’t fully thought out, but maybe one day we really could go to Paris.’ She turns to me. ‘You too, Lottie. You can show us all the best places the tourists don’t know about!’
Kit and I shift awkwardly on the soft cushions, neither of us quite sure what to say next.
‘Maybe, Tan.’ Kit finally comments with a half-smile. ‘We’ll have to look into it.’
That’s enough to satiate Tanya, and she pushes herself up from the sofa, dusting popcorn crumbs from her front.
‘Right, I’m off to bed, I’m shattered. Thanks for not killing me after everything, Kit.’
‘Yeah, count yourself very lucky for that, kiddo.’
‘Aw, who are you kidding, you could never stay mad at me!’ She ruffles his hair, as if she’s the older sibling. ‘And thanks Lottie, for … well, you know.’
‘Don’t mention it,’ I wink at her.
I’d expected to leave when Tanya traipsed off to bed, but Kit pours me a fresh glass of wine and we crack open a gigantic bag of salt and vinegar crisps to share. I pick out another film, but I needn’t have bothered. We don’t even glance at the screen, we’re too busy talking the night away.
‘You shouldn’t blame yourself for what happened with Tanya,’ I tell Kit as I snaffle a handful of crisps. ‘Insecurities are unfortunately a normal part of growing up.’
‘I know. I try my best, but at the end of the day, there’s only so much a big brother can do for a teenager,’ he confesses. ‘I mean, ever since my parents passed, all I’ve wanted is a family for Tanya, someone who can pick up where I fall short, you know?’
‘That’s totally understandable.’
‘It’s one of the reasons I wanted to get married, if I’m being honest. But the thing is, I’m not sure Zoe wants that. She’s independent, she hates to be tied into plans, and she’s not much of a family girl.’ He pauses, staring at a shadowed corner of the room. ‘When you really think about it we couldn’t be more different, but I just told myself that opposites attract, you know?’
I bite my lip and nod along, afraid of where this conversation may lead.
‘But can I really ask her to be a part of something she’s not truly into? Is it fair on her?’ Pressing a palm to his temple, Kit heaves a deep sigh. ‘Sometimes I wonder whether we did get engaged too fast. Tanya says so and I thought she was just being a moody teen, but I’m starting to question if she might have been right all along.’
The words are on the tip of my tongue, I’m so close to saying them out loud …
‘I’m sorry, I can’t do this,’ I blurt out, scrambling up from the soft settee.
‘No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have dumped all this on you.’ Kit rises with me, sending the crisp packet to the floor and showering the rug with greasy crumbs. ‘It wasn’t fair.’
‘It’s not that. It’s just … oh, I have to go!’ Before I spill the beans, I snatch up my bag and bolt for the entry hall. ‘Bye, Kit.’
‘But -’
I don’t get to hear his response, as I wrench the front door open and slam it behind me.
I didn’t expect it to be dark outside, but the sky is midnight blue, the only source of light the dull glow of the streetlamps and the eerie, cloud-misted moonlight overhead.
I’m torn. I shouldn’t get involved in someone else’s relationship, much less someone I’ve developed undeniable feelings for. At the same time, isn’t it wrong to let someone I care about enter a marriage based on lies? Doesn’t keeping all the deception to myself make me almost as culpable as Zoe?
A shiver creeps along my spine and I pull my thin jacket around my shoulders tighter. Where do I go from here? What path will lead to the least heartache? Maybe I should just keep out of this, I mean, things are already complicated enough. Now that I’m not finishing Zoe’s gown, I should let the Brooks get on with their lives and quit meddling.
It doesn’t feel right, not at all , but it’s for the best.