Chapter 12
Wes turns on music—the soundtrack of the musical we just saw—so we’re saved from having to talk for the remainder of the trip home.
It’s not until we’re pulling in through the front gate of Blossom Park that Wes silences the music.
I’ve been trying to talk myself into composure, but I lose it again as he drives through the familiar grounds and then through the privacy gate to the cottages.
He parks in his normal spot, shifts into park, and unbuckles his seat belt before he turns to look at me.
I look back.
“What if…?” Wes begins and trails off before I have a clue what he’s trying to say.
I should say something next, but I can’t make my voice work. So I’m left with nothing but gazing at him with a mingling of terror and excitement churning inside me.
“We kissed,” Wes goes on. Bluntly. Not meeting my eyes. Like he’s forcing himself to get the words said.
“I know.”
“We’ve got… some sort of chemistry. You agree, right?”
“Right.” My chest relaxes in relief that we’re finally addressing the huge reality that’s been sucking up all the air between us. “I agree.”
“But it seems like… It seems to me like The Plan is going to complicate… anything else. Lines will get blurred, and we’ll have trouble figuring out what’s really going on between us.”
“Oh. Yes.” I swallow hard. “You’re right. So you… so you don’t want to do The Plan after all?”
“That’s not what I’m saying. We need to follow through with The Plan now that people are interested again. So we should put this… this chemistry between us…” He gestures between our bodies. “We should put it on hold until after The Plan is complete. That way nothing gets confusing.”
“Oh. Yes.” I said that before. The same words in exactly the same way. But I can’t make myself voice different words. All the churning excitement inside me is freezing.
“Don’t you think that would be smarter? It’s already making things tense between us. We were getting along great until we kissed, and now… Now there’s this awkward tension that’s really hard to deal with.”
“It is.” The truth hits me with a sinking note as I suddenly realize he’s right. Of course he’s right. It’s not The Plan that’s the problem. It’s this inexplicable chemistry between us.
But it never existed before, so there must be some way of containing it in a small compartment that won’t keep causing this kind of trouble.
“You’re right,” I go on. “The drive home felt… terrible.”
“Yes, it did. So let’s not let do that again. We’re adults, and chemistry doesn’t have to be acted on. So let’s make a choice to put it aside until after The Plan is over. Then we can… we can figure out what’s next.”
The relief I’m flooded with might be heavy, but it’s also needed. We can’t go on like these past two hours. It’s too hard. Too uncomfortable. Too unknowable. Too scary.
Putting whatever exists between us aside temporarily might not be easy, but it’s also freeing.
I don’t have to figure everything out yet.
“That sounds like a good idea. I think that’s what we should do.”
“Okay. Good. Blossom Park is the most important thing, so let’s do what we need to do for that first. Then the rest… we’ll figure out later.”
There’s a slight edge to his voice I don’t like, but it could mean anything. “I agree,” I manage to say.
He nods. Swallows visibly. Then extends his hand to me. “So we have a deal? No more kissing until The Plan is done?”
“We have a deal.” I shake his hand. “No more kissing.”
The next week is easier.
I felt the same way when I was supposed to be the star of one of our high school plays. I was thrilled and terrified at the same time leading up to it. Then a few days before opening night, I came down with a bad case of mono.
There was no way I could perform, so the understudy had to take over.
It was a huge disappointment and a huge relief at the same time, but I made myself focus on the relief.
The big, scary thing was taken off my plate.
That’s what it feels like now.
I don’t have to sort out any feelings or worry about how Wes feels back. I don’t have to do any of that emotional work.
So yes, it’s a crushing disappointment.
But it’s also a relief.
I’m not quite as jitteringly happy for the next week, but I’m also not so stressed and scared and confused.
So it’s easier.
And it helps that there’s a new surge of online interest in my relationship with Wes and Blossom Park as a whole after our kiss was posted.
The daily visitors start increasing again.
Not quite as exponentially as the first go-around, but we’re close to reaching capacity on the weekend.
There’s an influx of new event inquiries and requests for tours and event-space viewings.
And according to Natalie, our brewing romance is once again a trending topic on every social media platform.
This time we don’t try to take it slow or make the progression realistic.
We need to fast-track The Plan to give Blossom Park as much as exposure as we can before people stop caring again.
So nine days after the kiss, Wes, Natalie, and I are choreographing a proposal scene with a giggling audience of Tessa, Parker, and Iris.
We’re doing the proposal in the rose garden tomorrow. Because it will be Saturday, we’ll have the greatest chance of people “accidentally” witnessing it.
Obviously a lot of people will suspect the whole thing is fake, but that no longer matters.
It’s been proven we have a limited window for attention, and we need to get to some of the yummy wedding stuff to showcase Blossom Park before we lose the world’s interest.
“It needs to look spontaneous, so it’s important you look like you’re working,” Natalie says. She’s dressed in a cute pink tracksuit, sneakers, and a retro hair clip, and she looks ready to tackle any job.
“But I wouldn’t be doing an inventory of the roses with Ella,” Wes says, sounding dry and rather detached. More like he used to be than the way he’s been with me for the past month. “Dad would be doing it.”
“That doesn’t matter. Jake can be busy with something else, so you’re stepping in. Some of our roses are valuable assets, so maybe it’s some sort of financial inventory.”
Wes chuckles. “Right. A financial inventory of our roses. Makes perfect sense.”
“Stop being obnoxious,” I tell him. “Natalie is right. We want this to be in the rose garden, and there aren’t many business reasons we’d be there.
It doesn’t really matter. No one is going to come out and ask.
We just need to look like we’re doing something other than waiting for the impromptu proposal. ”
“Fine. I’ll carry around my iPad and try to look financial.” Wes is looking particularly cute today in brown trousers, a button-up shirt, and one of Aunt Grace’s sweater-vests (a rust-and-orange one). I used to think the vests made him look nerdy, but now I can’t imagine anything more attractive.
But I’m not supposed to be thinking about our chemistry.
“You are financial.” Natalie sounds a bit peeved, as she always is when someone questions The Plan. “So it shouldn’t be a stretch. Just follow Ella around and act like you’re noting things on your iPad. Ella, you can just act like you’re counting out plants and checking their condition.”
“Got it.”
“So go ahead and try it.” Natalie waves toward a row of shrubs in the back of the cottages, which is as protected a spot as we could find for our rehearsal. “Nothing flirty or romantic. Just business.”
I lead the way, walking slowly and pretending the shrubs are the roses as I count and comment quietly. Wes dutifully makes notations on his iPad for each of my comments.
His eyes are amused, but his expression is sober.
We both have to ignore the loud hilarity coming from our audience of my three youngest sisters.
“Okay, good. That looks fine. Now you should get into an argument. Nothing loud or dramatic, just a little snippy thing. We want to evoke a similar feeling as you had before the loan appointment when you were first photographed. So quietly impatient with each other.”
I turn toward Wes, tilting my head up to meet his eyes. “Don’t make me laugh,” I murmur.
“How am I making you laugh?”
“Your expression.”
“I’m not sure I’m responsible for what my expression is doing.”
“Of course you are. Contain the mocking amusement inside you, and it won’t come out through your eyeballs.”
“That’s good!” Natalie exclaims. “Just right. Something snippy like that.”
“I didn’t realize we were being snippy,” Wes murmurs.
“We were doing our normal thing, but I guess our normal thing is snippy.”
“I guess so.”
“But now Ella needs to get annoyed enough to walk away. Nothing really dramatic, but like she needs to put distance between you for a minute.” Natalie is pacing and eyeing us with all the seriousness of a Broadway director.
“Okay,” I murmur, still looking up at Wes and wishing I didn’t want to touch him so much. He’s right there. Big and warm and amused and breathing. Real. I want nothing more than to put my hands on him. “I’m really annoyed with you right now, so I’m flouncing away for a minute.”
I do just that, walking several steps away with a frown and a huff.
“Don’t look too pouty,” Natalie says. “You’re not a melodramatic person, so just do an eye roll or something as you separate.”
I try it again, this time shooting an annoyed glance over my shoulder as I walk away.
“Good!” That’s Natalie, clearly enjoying herself as she speaks over the girls’ giggling. “Now Wes. You need to look kind of torn, like you’re second-guessing yourself. Then pull out the ring and walk over to propose.”
“Should I get down on one knee?”
“Yeah. I think you better. It needs to be clear what’s happening from a quick glance.”
Wes nods and checks his pocket for the ring.
“Ella, turn around. You shouldn’t be watching him.”
“But I want to see.”
“Tough. He’ll say something to get your attention. Then you’ll turn around as he goes down on one knee.” Natalie claps her hands. “Okay, go!”