CHAPTER TWENTY
Kayla
Shadow’s away all the next day, delivering messages to multiple realms of Faerie. He’s let things pile up a bit while working on projects around here and needs to make up for it.
I also throw myself into my work, still riding high on all the new ideas I got from my trip to the dragon realm.
By the time he returns, it’s dark out and I’m yawning and squinting at the screen while fighting to type. He bundles me off to bed with a kiss.
When I wake the next morning, after hitting snooze several times, an insulated cup of coffee waits on my bedside table. I sit up and lean back against the headboard.
“Good morning!” Dewdrop hops over and settles on my lap. “Shadow asked me to tell you he had to leave early.”
“Thanks, sweetie.” I rub his little forehead, and he starts to purr.
I take a sip of coffee. It’s warm and sweet and chocolaty, exactly as I like it, and it makes me think of the man who made it.
I still haven’t figured out what I think about our night together. I’ve never been great at processing emotions. Maybe it’s how I’m wired, or maybe my emotionally distant parents caused it. Probably both. I’m over worrying about the cause—I just want some damned clarity.
I felt so alive with Shadow, so seen and desired. And I want him, too. But I don’t want us to be together because Victoria made us, or because it’s some kind of game. I want to know what we have is real.
The house, it seems, has a lot of thoughts, too. When I try to open the front door a half hour later, the knob refuses to turn. “Hey, what’s going on?” I spin to face the parchment, jabbing a finger toward the door. “I thought we weren’t doing this anymore.”
“You didn’t consummate after the date.”
“You watched?” I groan as I remember the sounds I made when Shadow twisted his fingers inside me in that magical way. I’ve never made that sound before. I throw up my hands. “How could you?”
“Of course I watched. I can’t not watch. I’m the house.”
I knew on some level she sees everything inside the house, but it’s not the same as knowing-knowing it.
“Oh, my god. I’m never going to have sex again.
Or it’ll all be in sleazy hotel rooms, rented by the hour.
” Only Ferndale Falls doesn’t have a hotel any longer, sleazy or otherwise, so basically, I’m screwed. Or not screwed, as it were.
The photos swirl across the wall, several slipping out of the way so that others can gather in several rings around the parchment. “Do you see these couples?”
“Yeah. Your point?”
“They all consummated in one of my bedrooms. It’s completely normal. I’m not human. You don’t need to be embarrassed.”
“Okay, that makes it better.” I hold up my hand with my thumb and index finger only an inch apart. “But only a little bit. You might see everything that happens inside the house, but you gotta promise not to pay attention when I’m getting busy.”
“I’ll agree to that,” she writes. “If you’ll do it already! I was patient. I waited. But you didn’t consummate last night either!”
She’s right. Shadow pressed a sweet kiss to my mouth and told me goodnight, only smirking a little when I kissed back. He hadn’t pushed for more, which only made me want him more. Clever cat.
It also makes it feel as if all of this might still be a game to him, which brings all my worries roaring back to life.
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Look, I have to meet my friends so we can get everything together for this weekend’s wedding.”
The front door clicks open, and I hurry through it before she can change her mind.
Dewdrop swoops down from where he likes to perch high on one of Victoria’s fanciful spires. “Kayla!”
“Want to go into town with me? The pixies will be there.”
“Yes!” He makes an excited loop around my head.
Five minutes later, my old Beetle chugs into downtown Ferndale Falls, Dewdrop asking a million questions, saucer-sized eyes trying to take in everything.
As soon as we enter Slice of Life, the pixies squeal his name and surround us in a tiny tornado of glowing blue.
“Hello!” the dragonet chirrups, standing on his hind legs to set his front paws on top of my head. “Hello, my new friends!”
“Go on.” I pat his tail. “You can play for a bit if you want.”
He rubs his cheek across the top of my head, then launches from my shoulder to fly around the room, the pixies surrounding him in a little cloud of stars.
My friends wave from across the room, and I hurry over to their table. All of my Witch Bitch friends are going to help on the day of the wedding, and Violeta and Jasmine volunteered to make decorations with me. It seemed the least I could do to buy them breakfast first.
“I don’t get greeted like that.” Jasmine grins, the brilliant turquoise of her shirt and hair wrap making her brown skin glow.
“Me either,” Violeta says.
“Yeah, that’s all Dewdrop.” I hook a thumb toward my familiar, then pour a cup of coffee from the waiting carafe. “Thanks for doing this.”
“It’s what friends do.” Violeta gives a casual shrug that makes her wide-necked tee slide further off one tanned shoulder.
A pixie breaks away from the flock to take our orders for “sweet pizza.” Pixies, it turns out, are flipping obsessed.
So much so that they rename all flat, round foods as different pizzas.
I made the mistake once of trying to order a waffle and got a ten-minute lecture on why pizza is the only worthwhile food from a highly indignant pixie, complete with lots of tiny finger wagging.
It’s no skin off my nose. Shakespeare had it wrong: a delicious waffle is still delicious even if called by another name.
I order a chocolate-chip “sweet pizza” covered in banana slices and chocolate sauce and get a bunch of bananas for Dewdrop. When the food arrives, he eats happily, his little hands agile as he peels the yellow fruit.
My breakfast tastes as delicious as ever, but after a few bites, I find myself poking at it.
“Out with it,” Jasmine says.
“Out with what?”
“Whatever’s got you pushing your food around your plate instead of eating that double dose of chocolate.” Violeta points at my waffles with her fork.
I shove a big bite into my mouth and chew to have time to think.
I’m not good at talking, and I’m especially not great at girl talk, but I’m trying to be better.
It’s just like a new game, I tell myself.
You won’t get better without practice. But games are easy.
Games you can play again and again until you get it right, and none of the other characters remember your past failures. Real life sucks.
“Shadow and I hooked up,” I blurt.
Jasmine’s fork lands on her plate with a clatter. “Girl, what?”
“Was it great?” Violeta leans forward.
“It was.” My cheeks flare with heat.
“That good, huh?” Jasmine gives a quiet whistle and grins. “Lucky bitch.”
“If you got together, does that mean you’re married forever now?”
“No. The house only considers P-in-V to be consummation.” I give a small smile. “We did… other stuff.”
“So you had great sex,” Jasmine says. “What’s the problem?”
“I like him.”
Violeta sets a hand on my forearm. “And you’re worried he doesn’t like you?”
“I was before, but now I think he might.”
“Good. Because the way he looks at you—I don’t think that can be faked.”
“So you like him, and he likes you.” Jasmine takes a sip of coffee, watching me closely over the rim of the cup. “I’m still not seeing a problem.”
“I… I don’t have a lot of experience with guys.
” My throat tightens. I hate being this hesitant, this uncertain.
I’m the bad bitch who charges into every video game, ready to kick ass.
Why is real life so hard? Taking a deliberate breath, I pull up my big-girl panties and force out the words: “How do I know it’s real? ”
“Remember how I said that thing about how Shadow looks at you?” Violeta asks. “He started doing that before he became your roommate.”
“It’s been months, at least.” Jasmine nods. “He’s been following you around for a while.”
“Yeah, but it feels like it’s a game for him. The thrill of the chase and all that. He’s even said it’s a game and that he’s going to ‘win’ me.” I twiddle my fork. “And if I know anything, it’s that for lots of people, once they win a game, they get bored and never want to play it again.”
“But if he ‘wins,’ then you guys are married permanently,” Jasmine says. “That means he has to stay.”
“Which only makes it worse!” I chop at my waffle. “Imagine being married to someone that gorgeous and sexy who doesn’t want you anymore. It sounds like torture.”
“How did the not-sex part of your date go?” Violeta asks. “You were going to use it to test your compatibility.”
“It went great. Shadow’s a natural at video games, and his playful nature means he really loves them.”
“That’s good!” Violeta says.
“Yeah. It was a lot of fun.” I smash a chocolate chip between the tines of my fork. “But instead of clarity, I feel more confused than ever.”
“Sounds like you need more time to figure out what’s the what, so don’t do anything that gets you married.
Then if this turns out to be a fling, you had fun!
” Jasmine’s eyes dart over to where Thorvinn, the orc pub owner, scowls down at his omelet as if the “egg pizza” personally offended him.
“And you’re still the lucky bitch who had one of these fine fae men in your bed. ”
Huh. Jasmine’s always so confident and outgoing that I never imagined her having guy trouble.
“I agree. Flings can be fun.” Violeta sighs and props her chin on her hand. “I’m very ready for one of these hunky fae to sweep me off my feet.”
“Straight off your feet and into the air?” Jasmine grins and moves her hands like flapping wings. “Maybe with some double-D action?”
A dragon! Luke’s already taken so… “You mean Jace,” I blurt.
“Mierda,” Violeta says, but she’s smiling. “Am I that obvious?”
“Yes.” Jasmine laughs.
“Not to me, but I suck at those kinds of things,” I admit. “I’ll try to pay more attention the next time we’re all together.”
“About that.” Violeta leans forward, eyes glittering with excitement. “I have an idea for your wedding.”