Chapter 4 Lexie
What? No chance in hell did I hear that right.
Theo wants me as lead? No… no this doesn’t make any sense.
A two-million-dollar budget and Theodore Astor is handing it to me on a silver platter?
I’ve done nothing to show them that I’m capable of leading a wedding.
I’ve been waiting for a chance like this, the break I need to show I have what it takes to rise in my career and hoped this big new client would push me up the corporate ladder.
But not him.
The silence is so thick in the room that I’m sure everyone can hear my unsteady, galloping heartbeat.
“Oh, wow,” Sydney says, breaking the unbearable tension.
“Lexie is a talented member of our team, but she’s an assistant wedding planner.
” This is the only time in my life I’ve been grateful for her subtle reminder of my position.
They’re going to listen to her, right? They have to.
I absolutely cannot plan Theo’s wedding.
“For an event this high profile, I’d feel more comfortable with me as the lead. ”
“The decision is final.” Theo’s voice is filled with the conviction of a man who doesn’t get told no.
He smiles through the words and his eyes twinkle with the Astor family charisma.
But the energy in the room shifts, like the way pressure builds when gray clouds roll in midday and overpower the sun.
“I agree with Sydney,” I say, maybe a little too quickly, because, seriously, I can’t do this. “I’m an assistant at the agency, not a lead. I’m still learning. I’d hate to be the cause of something… negative… happening with your special day.”
“Nonsense,” Theo says.
I stare at the sweet, beautiful Annabelle. Say something! Where’s the typical bridezilla who’d throw a fit about a junior staff member planning her wedding? Why is she just sitting there with nothing but an encouraging smile?
Theo leans forward on his elbows and pins me with a gaze. “I can already tell you’re the right person for the job. Sydney, there’s no problem here, is there.” A definite statement, and not a question, and seriously, what is happening?
My eyes snap to Sydney, whose ego is no doubt taking a hit. “No, of course not. Lexie’s incredibly gifted,” she says with a flex in her jaw. “And I’m happy to assist in anything you may need.”
There’s absolutely no way on God’s green earth that I can spend the next six months with Theo, planning his wedding.
His wedding! I can’t even stomach being around him for an hour, and I’ll be responsible for the most important day of his life?
This can’t be happening. I didn’t wake up late today.
I didn’t stumble into my office and face the man who stole everything from me.
I didn’t just hear that he wants to work directly with me.
I’m in bed, cozied under my million blankets, waiting for the alarm to go off.
“Really, I’m flattered, but Sydney should lead this. She’s the best at the firm.” I’m not even blowing smoke up Sydney’s ass. When I say Sydney literally lives and breathes this job, I’m not exaggerating.
“And I don’t doubt your talents. But I’ve always preferred working with someone who sees things the way we do.”
What?
“It’s nothing personal,” Annabelle adds at once, apologetic.
She smiles—but it doesn’t reach her eyes. The expression appears like a reflex, practiced and precise, as if she’s smoothing the moment before it can wrinkle. Her fingers curl lightly into the fabric of her skirt, then still.
And suddenly I see it.
Not affection. Not ease.
Compliance.
The kind of smile you wear when disagreement isn’t an option.
The buttons on my shirt dig into my skin. My blouse feels like a tight-laced corset compressing my insides. There’s no air. I need to get out of here, into a bigger, safer space, far away from Theo and this whole situation.
“Thank you so much for everything, Sydney,” he says. “I’m sure you understand.”
There’s a finality in his tone that makes my belly tighten.
“Lexie, are we good here?” he asks.
Sydney’s glare is nearly as invasive as Theo’s—if that’s even possible—and she’s absolutely screaming at me with her eyes to suck it the fuck up.
“Yes, of course,” I lie, feeling like a poisonous vapor is inching towards me, and I’m verging on suffocation. “Thank you so much for the opportunity.”
“I’m so excited!” Annabelle breaks the awkwardness. “Okay, what are the next steps?”
My face is blazing so hot right now, it no doubt matches my hair.
“Before leaving, you’ll sign the official contract.
I’ll email you my cell number, high-level instructions, and build a task schedule.
Do you prefer I email daily, bi-weekly…” I continue to rattle off the usual onboarding information, having sat in many of Sydney’s meetings over the years, while making the firm decision that the moment they leave, I’m demanding Sydney assigns Justin as lead.
Theo checks his watch. “We need to head out.” We all stand and Theo reaches to shake my hand. When his skin meets mine, the burn that travels through me makes me want to douse my arm in ice-cold holy water and expel the evil that’s penetrating my flesh. “It was wonderful meeting you, Lexie.”
Meeting me. Like it’s the first time. Like he didn’t decimate everything good in my world and alter the trajectory of my life.
Sydney pushes herself from the table. “I’ll walk you two out,” she says. “Lexie, could you meet me in my office?”
Normally, Sydney would ask me to escort the clients out, but she’s clearly using this moment to reinforce who’s in charge. This time, I’ll happily let it go to avoid spending another second in Theo’s stifling company.
The moment they step outside the door, I plant my sweaty palms against the conference table and exhale rattled breaths. Of all the event planning agencies in the city, why did Theo have to choose this one?
In slow counts of four, I breathe in and out, and flicker back to the last time I saw him, to the way his dimples deepened with his evil sinister smile when he pulled the rug from under my feet.
I hate myself for the crush I carried on him for a year.
For lusting, chasing after him like a child trying to capture their shadow, when he didn’t even notice me until he ruined my life.
Me, the sad girl from Queens who held her breath when he walked into his father’s office, who couldn’t focus on her studies as he moved through the world like it already belonged to him.
Me, who latched on to every single word he spoke like the syllables themselves were precious relics.
When Theo visited his father’s office, I wanted him to notice me and tried to prove I was worth his attention—smart enough, interesting enough. If I asked the right questions, maybe he’d see me. Instead, he’d leave as soon as I started talking, like I wasn’t even worth his time.
And yet, I kept chasing.
During every shift I worked at the campus coffee shop, I’d take espresso orders and scan the line of students, praying for Theo to come in, imprisoning my hopes inside his dirty chai tea order.
I’d take the miniscule seconds of our interaction, no more than the scraps he gave everyone else, and balloon them in my mind.
I’d fantasize that he went home and thought about me the way I thought about him.
Pathetic, that girl. I want to shake my nineteen-year-old self.
My head pounds and I dig my thumbs into my temples. I storm down to Sydney’s office and she enters a moment later.
“You good?” she asks as she slides into her leather chair. “You didn’t look great in there. Do you need to go home? Maybe you are actually coming down with something.”
A small piece of me wants to open up and tell Sydney everything that happened in Boston, but I can’t. I thought I’d buried the shame but clearly didn’t. “I can’t be the lead on this account.”
She pulls her ruby-red lips into a flat line and exhales through her nose.
“Listen. I know this isn’t ideal. Did I think the meeting would go this way?
Of course not. But they’ve asked for you and it’s the biggest client we’ve ever had.
But, you won’t be alone. I’ll be here to support you the entire way.
You can lean on me for absolutely anything.
” She inches forward. “You’ve got this, Lexie. I believe in you.”
As warm as those words are, I shake my head. “You don’t understand. I just…” Shit. How do I not come off incompetent and inexperienced, while still rejecting this job? “I can’t.”
“You can.” She straightens. “And you will.”
The words are sharp, and I’m sure as neutral as I’m trying to keep my face, it’s betraying me.
I’m about to pull out my employee trump card—the right to refuse service for a client—when she drums her fingers against the desk.
“These are not the type of people we can turn down. If they asked you to be the entertainment, we’d get you some singing lessons and put your ass on stage.
These are the Barlowes. Something like this can make or break a business.
You understand this, right? There is no saying no. ”
Her deep blue eyes narrow and my gut sinks. She’s not letting me out of this.
But I can’t.
A moment passes, then another, when she takes a sharp breath. “If you complete this wedding the way I know you can, you’ll get the raise we’ve been talking about.”
My heartbeat kicks up. I’m thrilled, of course, but if I’m going to be forced to work with Theo for the next six months, a standard salary bump alone won’t cut it. “They requested me as lead.”
“Well, sure, on this one project.”
“If you’re trusting me to lead the biggest-budget and highest-profile wedding in our company’s history, you have to trust me to do this for others.” Stay strong, stay strong. Do not fold.
“But, I’d have to work with the investors for approval, run some numbers, review staff assignments…”