Chapter 28 Lexie #3
“It’s too much. I think of you all the goddamn time,” he says more pained than angry. “It’s not healthy. It’s not even fucking sane. I hate this so much and there’s nothing I can do. You’ve invaded every single part of me. I want to shake you off, I want to be done with you, and I can’t.”
A heavy swallow rolls down my throat and my lips tremble.
“Then why are you still with Annabelle?” I say, inching closer.
“I don’t understand it. I see the way you look at me, I feel the way you feel about me.
” Silence fills the air, and I feel my heart opening, just a little, dipping itself a little outside of my body.
“Why are you with her,” I say as my heartbeat rails against my chest, “when I think you want to be with me?”
Theo clasps his hands behind his head, looks at the sky, then back at me. He inhales, then releases a slow, rattled breath. “I’m marrying Anna.”
All color drains from my face before my cheeks heat. “Then why did you kiss me?”
He drops his gaze to the pavement, unable—or unwilling—to answer. I’m shaking, a mix of cold and adrenaline still coursing through me. I just opened myself up to him—raw, exposed, painfully vulnerable—and he doesn’t have the decency to look me in the eye.
“Fuck you, Theo. I mean that. How dare you? God, you’re such a selfish asshole.
You know what I think? I think you love messing with people’s minds.
I think you get hard and jerk off to how many people you can hurt.
Even after all these years, you’re still fucking with me, and I fell right into your trap.
” My voice is raised loud enough that a few passersby give me a side-eye, but I don’t care.
I’m so done. With all of this. With seven years of hating him, with months of lusting after him, with feeling like that same girl back then who asked him out and he rejected.
“This is the type of man you are. I knew it in college, and I know it now. Nothing is ever enough. You have a vile need to destroy. What sort of sick fuck are you? Annabelle’s not enough, is she?
You need her. You need me. You need Olivia. ”
Whatever quiet, sympathetic, maybe even longing look Theo held disappears. Violent, red-hot flames flare up his face, and he grits his teeth. “What… what the fuck did you just say?”
Oh, shit.
He. Is. Furious.
Whoever Olivia is, I just struck a major nerve.
And good. I hope I did. My eyes narrow. “Olivia. Is she another one, too? Are you obsessed with her as well?” And what the hell is wrong with me that there’s this sick, disgusting jealousy terrorizing me that, what…
I wasn’t special enough? The chosen other one?
He’s destroyed me and I hate that he’s getting upset over Olivia?
He takes one step closer with black, lethal, rage-filled eyes. “What in the fuck do you know about Olivia?”
My breath feels like a knife, stabbing my chest. My lips stammer. “I know enough.”
He grips me by the shoulders, digging into me with such force it feels like he might toss me. Veins stretch against his neck, his eyes sear into mine so hard I want to crumble.
“I swear to God, Lexie, if you do something…”
His death grip drops from my arms and he steps back. I immediately feel the void, which is so wrong on so many levels. I want to be in his fierce grip. I want to live in his fury. I want him to admit right fucking now the kind of man he is so I can stop dreaming about him.
And then he storms toward me, but I don’t back up. Come get me. I don’t even care anymore. I’m done with his games, and I’m not taking this anymore.
“Fuck!” His jaw flexes and pops. “Tell me what you know about Olivia.”
My heart shouldn’t be hurting right now, but the confirmation that there’s another woman is a punch in the stomach. I thought I was being strong by challenging him, but I’m not. My head swirls with everything that happened tonight, and I’m so close to cracking.
He glares at me with such black, erratic eyes that my mouth turns dry.
“Listen to me, Lexie, very fucking carefully. If you do anything about Olivia, I will ruin you. Do you fucking hear me? I will ruin you. Do not mess this up, do not look into her, do not contact her, do not even fucking think about her.”
The words are said with such harsh conviction that tears rush to my eyes.
He’s said terrible things before, but this is different.
This isn’t sharp or cutting; it’s rusty, jagged, meant to tear something open.
My lips tremble. I bite down hard on the inside of my cheek, trying stop it—but a few tears spill out.
“God, I’m so stupid. I thought you’d changed, but you haven’t.
” I swipe my eyes with my hands. “You’ve ruined me once before.
Back in Boston.” He doesn’t say anything.
He doesn’t ask questions. He doesn’t care.
He’s worried about Olivia, and not me, and I absolutely hate myself for even caring.
“I shouldn’t be surprised you want to ruin me again. ”
I storm away, leaving an unconscious Cody in an alley, and a raging Theo on the sidewalk. By the time I hail a cab, and slide into the back seat, I’m bawling.