Chapter 37 Theo
Fuck.
My fists hit the bag, over and over and over, pummeling against it until the demon inside me releases.
The murderous rage blistering my insides has elevated so high, that for the second time in my life, I feel like I might kill someone.
The first time was when I saw that Cody fucker lay his hands on Lexie.
The second time was three hours ago, when I got a call from Olivia.
Sweat pours down my forehead and I rage against the boxing bag in my condo’s gym. The people around me have headphones on, paying no attention to me thank Christ, because if anyone came up to me, I don’t know what I would do.
When Olivia sent me a message this afternoon saying she needed to talk, I set my patient notes aside and spent the next hour on the phone with her.
The hysterical crying was the first sign something was wrong.
Then she proceeded to tell me that she’d found an envelope in her mailbox with the note saying: Choose your words carefully, Olivia. There are ears everywhere.
I said it could have been from anyone, but we both knew that this note could only be from my dad. My father is a sadistic bastard, and this is exactly something he’d do.
But if Olivia pulls out, the others will almost certainly follow.
She’s the strongest link I have to taking my father down—not just because she has the receipts and evidence, but because she also has the means to protect herself when this goes public.
Ironically, when she was a student, she had none of that.
No power, no visibility—my father’s perfect target.
That changed later. Her father, a local union organizer who made noise about unfair labor practices and is now running for state senate, gave her a level of protection she never had before.
With Olivia attached in the exposé, the other women believed their stories would be taken seriously. That someone would finally listen.
But what am I supposed to do? Force her to tell the journalist everything? She was a mess on the phone, terrified that if she came forward, she’d jeopardize both her dad’s campaign and her new job. And I couldn’t do a fucking thing.
I pound into the bag. Fuck. Fuck! Of course, I understand.
My father is powerful and cruel, and he already took something from her once back in school.
And now her voice has so much fucking power, whether she realizes it or not.
But if I made her feel like shit, or coerced her into coming forward, I’d be no better than him.
But the investigation has to continue. My father needs to be held accountable. These women deserve their restitution. And I’m failing. I’m fucking failing them, Lexie, Anna…
Everything is spiraling. Anna’s been quieter with me lately—acting vague and evasive.
She’s always been someone who tells me everything, which is how I know she’s holding something back.
I keep reassuring Lexie that everything will be fine, that Anna’s just waiting on final details from the lawyer.
But the truth is, I’m stalling. It shouldn’t be taking this long.
Every time we think we’re at the finish line, another delay crops up, stretching my patience thinner.
I’m terrified that if it doesn’t happen soon, Lexie will leave.
The idea of her no longer being in my life guts me so badly that sometimes it feels hard to breathe.
I know what that fear means—that she matters more to me than anyone ever has, that my feelings run deeper than I’m ready to fully confront.
I’ve done too much fucked-up shit in my life to pretend I deserve her. I know that.
But I’m a selfish man. And I can’t seem to let her go.
The gym bag sways against every hit, and my pulse is pounding so hard in my chest that if I don’t take a break soon, I’m going to collapse. I’m a doctor. I know the signs of over exertion, but I don’t fucking care.
Lexie. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why did I treat her like that when I got home?
Nothing about today had anything to do with her.
What the hell is wrong with me? I feel the way I did when I first hired her as the coordinator—anxious, off-balance, out of control.
Terrified of what I couldn’t fix: my future, not saving Anna from her parents, the women who might walk away from telling the truth about my father.
Instead of sitting with that fear, I lashed out.
God, I’m such a piece of shit. I took it out on Lexie.
And she didn’t run. She had every right to storm out of my condo and tell me to go fuck myself.
I would’ve deserved it. But she didn’t. She stayed—and the condo’s door alert confirms she stayed.
She’s waiting for me—someone unworthy of her love, her devotion, fucking unworthy of her.
So, what the hell am I doing in the gym instead of burying myself inside of her, begging for her forgiveness and reminding her how much she means to me? I bite the glove with my teeth to rip it off, grab a towel, and bolt to the elevator.
When I arrive at my condo, sweat still drips down my forehead, my breaths are labored, but I’m desperate. I enter my place, kick off my shoes at the door, and head straight to the guest bedroom. I slow once I reach the door, unsure whether she’ll let me in. I lift my hand to knock—
The door swing opens.
Lexie stands there, defiant and devastatingly beautiful, like she’s been waiting for me to finally knock some sense into myself.
I capture her mouth with mine. She doesn’t hesitate—doesn’t pull back, doesn’t ask where I’ve been or why I’m here now, doesn’t even wrinkle her nose at the sweat still clinging to me. Instead, she jumps, wrapping her legs around my waist, and I carry her to the bed.
Euphoria rushes through me with the feel of her body against mine. Her plush lips are hungry and frantic. Her heartbeat thunders where our chests meet, breaths tangling, fingertips raking through my hair and holding tight.
I kiss her with desperate urgency, like touching her is the only way to convince myself she’s real and still mine.
Please don’t ever leave me. My lips move to her neck, burying myself in her taste and smell.
She’s here, she’s here. When I lay her on the bed, the longing in those beautiful eyes nearly takes me out.
I crawl on top and her legs seamlessly wrap around me, waiting.
My mouth glides across her dewy skin, kiss below her ear, my hands slide down those impossibly smooth arms.
I don’t want to think of anything but her. I don’t want to imagine a world she’s not part of. I want to be here now, in this moment, savoring the way her nipples harden when my thumb grazes her, drinking in the way she shivers under me, soaking in the moans leaving her mouth.
“I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry…” I whisper as I dance my lips across hers.
Her lip trembles. “You left me…”
The shattered words make me want to choke. I will never leave Lexie. She’s part of me. My world doesn’t exist if she’s not in it. “I will never leave you again.”
I lower the strap of her camisole and kiss her collarbone, the freckles on her shoulder, the delicate skin on her neck.
My tongue traces the line of her jaw before brushing her lips, memorizing her.
I want to take my time—let her taste, her scent, the sounds she makes brand themselves into me until there’s no part of me left untouched by her.
Silently, she lifts my shirt up and over my head, and I remove hers, and guide her back down. I drag my tongue against a nipple and pull it into my mouth, sucking and licking as she moans against me. Oh… those moans. I want those to be the last sounds I hear before I die.
My cock is hard inside of my gym shorts, eager to get out, but I force myself to slow down. I need this to last. If I can somehow stretch the moment—maybe the world outside will stop spinning, time will hold its breath, and we can stay suspended here, like this, forever.
I slip my hands inside her pajama shorts, and the moment I reach bare, moist skin, my breath hitches.
Sometimes I try so hard to keep everything between us raw and feral and emotionless, but I’m fighting a losing battle.
This time, it’s more than that. This is me sliding down her shorts like she’s the most precious thing on earth.
This is me dragging my tongue up from her ankle to her knees to the inside of her thigh like she’s the goddess I live to serve.
Hands grip the back of my sweaty head as I kiss her center, run my tongue across the soft skin, soak in the taste of her arousal. Silky heat fills my mouth, and I’m already craving more. I brush my fingers against her entrance and when she quivers, I slide in a fingertip.
“Mmmm… that feels good,” she says, lifting her hips to meet me.
I slide in further and God… the way she feels against my fingers makes me disintegrate. The feel of her slung legs over my shoulders now pressing into me, growing with urgency, fuels me. I want to breathe, fall asleep, live inside her.
“I could live off your pussy forever…” I hum against her skin. My tongue swirls her plump clit. I give it a quick suck and release and devour the sounds she makes. Nails dig into my back, and every scratch, every moan, every word about how good I make her feel, how much she wants me, fuels me.
I’m obsessed with this woman.
I lift myself and flip her on her stomach, taking my time to slide my palms down her smooth back, over that beautiful round ass, and in-between her thighs.
I plant kisses on her cheeks, I slide my thumb back up to her entrance and press inside, and I moan at the same time she does.
She’s exquisite. An immaculate, flawless angel, and she’s mine.
I don’t fucking deserve her. She chose me.
I don’t know what I did to make this happen.
But she’s fucking mine.
“Please… I’m so ready for you…” she says, gripping the sheets.
I’m ready for her, too. From here until eternity, I will always be ready for her.
But, I need just a little bit more time with my mouth on her body.
I grip her hips and pull her ass up until she’s on her knees and her cheek is resting on the pillow and fuck me…
I love her in this angle, seeing her glistening pink flesh, how open and ready she is for me.
A throaty moan releases from my mouth as I slide the flat of my tongue from her clit to her entrance and melt in her taste.
“Please… please… I need you, now,” she whimpers.
Those words gut me, because I need her, too. Now, forever. I turn her back over so I can see her heated, hooded eyes, so I can take in the swollen lips, the hard nipples, the pinked flushed face.
I remove the rest of my clothes, climb back onto the bed, and finally, I push into her, sinking into her warm, silken world.
And I stay. I don’t move, I don’t thrust, I just hold.
I’m taking in the way her plush walls hug my cock, the way my heartbeat races in my chest, the way this moment is more intense but less frantic than all the other times.
She grips my face and brings me to her, but she doesn’t kiss me. She reads me. “I’m right here, Theo, okay?” she says like she knows what I need to hear. “I’m not running.”
Those eyes… they destroy me. I cup her face back and press my forehead into hers. Slowly I start rocking. Long, slow, intentional strokes. My eyes don’t break contact with hers. I’ve never had a moment like this. Weightless yet heavy. Euphoric yet sobering.
Lexie makes me forget everything. She’s my healer and my savior.
And to the deepest part of me, I’m terrified she’ll be my heartbreak.