9. Mazikeen #3
We thank you, God. We know that is it done in Jesus’s name. Amen.”
Once the prayer was over, Mama Lauren joined Nurse Jackie in the song. They both could sing, sing. A small crowd gathered around the door of my room.
I didn’t realize I was crying until Falcon wiped my eyes. He placed his forehead on mine, then softly kissed my lips. “I love you, Mazikeen Joy.”
“I love you too, Falcon Josiah.” The love that I had for him was unmatched. He was my light in a room filled with darkness.
The surgeon, Dr. Orlando, came in as the ladies wrapped up the song.
He respected what we were doing. My heart was big to know that he was Black.
He spoke to us to let us know what to expect, then he let us know that it would be less than fifteen minutes before I was taken back.
“Let’s go get your new kidney, Ms. Phillips. ”
Yes, let’s go do that. New kidney coming up!
Post-Op and Blessed . . .
My eyes felt so heavy. It matched the feeling of my lower body. It felt like someone put a rock in me then closed me up. The pain was there but not necessarily unbearable.
I felt tightness around my hand. My mind knew that it was my baby. It made me fight to open my eyes.
“Kee, baby. I see you trying to open those beautiful eyes.” His voice was low, but he could never get rid of that deepness that I loved.
My eyelids tightened before they opened. They shut abruptly at the light that flooded in them. I waited another second, then tried again. This time, I was successful. It took a short moment for them to focus.
Falcon sat beside me in a wrinkled T-shirt. He was tired. “I was the one that had surgery. Why do you look so bad?”
He chuckled. “There goes my baby. Just came out of surgery and filled with a new kidney and jokes.”
I wanted to laugh, but it was a pain that I didn’t want to feel. The question that sat on my chest scared me. I knew that I had to ask. “Did it work? Did my body take it?”
Falcon smiled. He still held my hand tightly. “Yes, you have a working kidney, love. It started to produce urine in the operating room.”
Wow! It seemed like such a simple body function that the masses did without a problem. In this moment, it was proof that God did his big one.
My head turned to the sound of the door opening. In walked Lula, who didn’t look any better than Falcon. “Hey, girlie. Glad to see you’re finally awake. They said that you would be awake hours ago. I was just out there about to molly wop someone’s daughter if you didn’t wake up in the next hour.”
I let out a small chuckle then groaned from the pain of it. Falcon jumped up. “You want me to call the doctor, baby?”
My head shook. My hand outstretched to him. “No, the laugh just hurt a little bit. I’m alright.”
“Ole worrisome nigga. I swear I’m happy you’re awake, Maz. His ass is annoying,” Lula complained.
Falcon tittered with slitted eyes. “Says the woman who asked the surgeon to hold out his hand so you can make sure it doesn’t shake like a crackhead.” He looked down at me. “Baby, this girl asked the man if he had Yelp reviews.”
“Lula Ann, you did not!” I wanted to laugh again, but I knew better. “You are way too much.”
She sucked her teeth. “You’re damn right I did. I know the crackhead shakes. Everyone has reviews. If those hoes on Backpage have reviews, then he should too.”
I couldn’t with her. It was a joyous occasion, but it only took that split second for worry to enter my mind. I looked down at the blanket as if I could see the kidney through it. Someone lost their life, and I had their kidney. A sense of guilt hit me.
“Someone is dead, and I have their kidney. Like, this kidney was inside of someone else yesterday, and now it’s in me. How do I absolve that?” I asked no one in particular.
Falcon leaned down and kissed my forehead. “You absolve it by knowing that someone wanted their life to have an impact even after their death. They wanted to save a life. That’s what you settle in your brain.”
His words floated around in my head. He was right. I nodded, then gently placed my hand over my stomach. A tear begged to be released, and I allowed it. In a murmur, I said, “I have a kidney.”
Lula Ann responded to my words. “Yes, you do. No more dialysis, so we can get to the things you want to do.” There were tears in her eyes. “Um, I’m going to give y’all some time alone.” She came over and kissed my cheeks. “Love you, girlie.”
When she left the room, I sighed, then looked at Falcon. “You never left. Through it all, you never left.”
His brows knitted together. “Why would I leave my home? I already told you that you are my home.”
When he told me that the first time, I understood what he said. I didn’t fully absorb it. I didn’t let him be my home, because I still had doubts that he would leave. Now, I see it. I really was his home, and it was time that I allowed myself to be his.
My smile was warm. “Thank you for being my home. I want to open the door for you and officially welcome you in. Welcome home, Falcon.”
He smirked, leaned down, then kissed me. “Mazikeen, I broke in a long time ago.”