Chapter 14
It took us multiple days, and a lot of help from the ship’s captain, to make sense of the map we found.
After we discovered the cipher, we were able to identify Tythas, where Caspian said he lived, and set a course.
All we can do is hope that’s where they took our packmates.
It seems too easy and too hard all at once, but we have no other options. Our only choice is to press on.
For now, we’ve stopped near the Trennach archipelago because the captain said a storm is predicted to hit late tonight, and he preferred to be anchored for it.
The chain of tiny islands are all privately owned and difficult to get to by their positioning in the middle of the ocean.
My friend Roman and his pack rented one out when they bonded as a surprise for their omega.
This one is the smallest at the farthest outreaches.
In the distance, stormclouds threaten our path, but here the sky is clear, and the water is the same blue as Caspian’s eyes. It makes my body ache with the reminder that he and Madison are so far away.
“How about a swim?” Phoenix kicks my chair as he speaks, jerking me out of my thoughts.
I didn’t notice him come down to the lower deck where I’ve been staring mindlessly at my books, head pounding.
Even now that we’ve got some sense of where we’re going, I’ve tried to continue my research to learn everything I can about the myths and legends of merfolk.
It still feels like we’re going in blind, and my focus has been shit.
I’ve had a migraine for days that no amount of meds will help.
My body feels achy all the time, like I’m bruised everywhere.
The longer I’m apart from Madi and Caspian the worse it gets.
About to turn Phoenix down, I open my mouth, but immediately close it when I see what he’s holding in his hand.
“Like I said, let’s swim.” He spins the i’xal in his fingers. “We’re getting closer, so maybe it’ll tell us something.” He tosses the little device from one hand to the other.
“Be careful!” I snatch it from him with a growl. Fist closed around the precious compass, I charge Phoenix. “How could you be so careless!” I’ve got him pinned against the railing, hand around his throat in an instant.
“Hey!” Sebastian yells from behind me.
I’m not sure when he joined us, but his palm on my back somehow lowers my blood pressure a fraction.
I blink, suddenly aware of how hard I’m constricting Phoenix’s throat. His blood-drained face lacks his normal smile, eyes wide with fear. I drop him and jump back, the i’xal clattering on the deck.
“Fuck, Nix… I don’t know what came over me.”
Sebastian kneels beside Phoenix while I stand there staring at my hands in shock. Nix and I have fought over the years, but it’s never gotten as physical as that. I’m not a violent man. Demanding? Yes. But not violent. Until now. I’m on edge in every way, and it’s making me irrational. I hate it.
Nix coughs, sputtering a little. “It’s fine. I shouldn’t have been messing around with—”
“No,” I interrupt, squatting so our faces are level, but keeping my distance. “Nothing warrants that kind of reaction.”
Sebastian sighs and touches the bridge of his nose as if to push up the glasses he’s not wearing. He’s got his contacts in today, but the action must be so second nature that he does it even when he’s not wearing them.
“It’s the bonding sickness,” Sebastian says. “It can make people… irrational.”
I slump forward, dropping my head into my hands. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
All of my careful control and composure feels fractured without my pack. I feel like a shadow of myself, and now I’ve taken that out on my best friend.
Nix crawls over to me and wraps me in a hug.
“It’s fine, Hunt. I understand. I mean, not really, but we’re all a little on edge.
” He sits back on his heels and gives my shoulder a shove that I know is meant to be playful.
“That’s why I think we could use a swim.
Cool off. Maybe find something out.” He picks up the i’xal and places it in my palm, wrapping my fingers around it.
“That’s a great idea.” Sebastian stands and brushes off his knees.
“Come on, last one in the water is a rotten egg.” Phoenix hops to his feet and whips his shirt over his head one handed, revealing swaths of tan skin. His genuine smile is back as if he’s already forgotten what I did. I wish I could forget so easily.
“We need to tell the captain we’re going to—”
“Already did,” Phoenix cuts Sebastian off, then drops his shorts.
“You’re not even gonna let us change into our swimsuits?
” I cross my arms and glare at my best friend in nothing more than boxer briefs.
They’re so tight I can see every bulging outline of him.
He’s clearly hard, and when he catches me staring, he makes a show of adjusting himself, abs rippling as they flex.
“Can’t help it.” Nix grins. “You know I like it a little rough. Wanna choke me again, old man?”
Sebastian lets out a startled noise that’s almost a laugh before loudly clearing his throat. I’m shocked into speechlessness.
Nix is trying to start something. I’m sure of it. What I’m unsure of is how I feel about it. I’ve been horny and frustrated almost perpetually since being separated from my mates, like my body is calling out to them, but they’re not here to relieve the pressure.
Things have also been different between Phoenix and me since Sebastian joined us.
Not in a good way. I like the beta. We’ve spent a lot of time together over the past few days.
He’s intelligent, quick-witted, and obviously attractive.
I understand what Nix sees in him, but I can tell he’s also jealous, with a possessiveness I’ve picked up on that rivals an alpha’s.
I don’t want to step on any toes or start shit when we should be focusing on finding Madi and Caspian.
I haven’t had time alone with Nix, and when the three of us are together, there’s a sexual tension that goes nowhere. Or maybe that’s just all in my head. Wishful thinking, because I’m so desperate for touch that it hurts.
Now that we’ve confessed our feelings, I want Nix more than ever.
He’s right there, but always out of reach.
It’s clear he’s trying to be respectful of his relationship with Sebastian and wait until he’s ready for something more.
I don’t want him to feel pulled in half between the two of us, so I’ve kept some distance.
“What, you can’t handle a little skinny dipping?” Phoenix says with a wink after I’ve stared for far too long without saying anything. “I’ll keep my boxers on if it makes you more comfortable.”
With that, he climbs over the railing and dives into the water, not bothering with the ladder at all.
Sebastian and I share an awkward look. I’m half-hard from his boyfriend’s teasing, and I’m not sure what the protocol is here.
He knows I want Phoenix. We haven’t kept that a secret.
Nix has joked plenty about us all packing up once we find Madi and Caspian, but I don’t know what the quiet beta thinks of that plan.
He’s been noticeably silent on the topic.
“Guess it’s down to you and me,” Sebastian says. He still hasn’t made a move to undress.
“Guess so.” I look him up and down and note the way he stiffens and swallows. His subtle scent becomes more distinct even in the open air. Does he like my perusal? Or am I making him uncomfortable?
“If we’re gonna be pack,” I grab the back of my shirt and pull it over my head, “I guess we should get used to—”
“Are we?” Sebastian asks, but he’s already got his shirt off, too.
“Are we what?”
“Going to be pack?” There’s something vulnerable in his eyes that I don’t fully understand.
“Well, I just thought… I mean, you want Phoenix and Madi, and I want…”
He squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head. “Yeah, um, I just…” When he looks up again, his face is blank, like he’s slipped a mask into place. “Better get in there before Phoenix starts pretending he’s drowning.”
He’s out of his shorts and over the edge before I realize what’s happening. He’s still wearing boxer briefs, but they’re just as tight as Phoenix’s. His defined ass flexes as he lunges himself toward the water.
Nix’s laugh carries up from below. Still reeling, I hang my shirt on the back of the chair, leaving my shorts on. I’m already the last one, no need to rush now. I need time to think. Plus, my bones will thank me if I take the ladder rather than diving off the edge of a yacht.
The i’xal is still clutched tightly in my fist, a reminder that this isn’t just about a break or a bit of exercise or whatever Nix is trying to instigate. I slip it into my zippered pocket for safe keeping. If I drop it out here, we’ll never find it. It’ll be lost to the depths of the ocean.
The moment I’m in the water, Phoenix is on me like an octopus catching his prey. He wraps his arms around me from behind and rests his chin on my shoulder. Our bare legs brush under the water, the strokes setting off something desperate and primal inside me.
Sebastian watches us warily, but he says nothing.
If Nix keeps on me like this, I’m gonna lose control but in a very different way than before. All my emotions are in hyper-drive. The mood swings unnerve me and make me feel off balance. I haven’t given the omegas in my life enough credit for dealing with all this hormonal shit.
I shove Phoenix off, dropping beneath the surface to swim away from him with my eyes closed, inadvertently moving in Sebastian’s direction.
I don’t realize it until my head bumps his chest. When I come up for air, we’re inches apart.
The beta’s wide eyes take me in with a look I can’t decipher.
It’s something like fear mixed with desire.
Or am I just projecting again?
I float back so I’m not chest to chest with him, then turn to look for Nix. I’m met with a wall of water. Sputtering, I wipe my face before growling at my best friend. “Ohh, you’re in for it now.”
Nix yelps and swims behind Sebastian, ducking for cover.
“Brat,” I shout. I’m already feeling tired though, my limbs heavy as if I’ve been swimming for hours. The bonding sickness is weakening my entire system. I hope it’s not this bad for Madi, since she has Caspian with her.
Ignoring the game Nix was trying to draw me into, I push through the water until I reach the boat, lifting myself onto the swim platform that rests just inches above the surface.
My shorts are heavy, laden with saltwater, so I tug them off and lay them out in the sun to dry while Sebastian and Nix splash in the water.
A clink reminds me the i’xal is still in my pocket.
I retrieve it and plop on the edge of the deck.
My feet dangle into the sea, water sluicing down my chest and my shorts sucked tight enough that I may as well have my cock out.
Nix and Sebastian swim over to join me, and I stare at the i’xal as I dip it into the water. To my surprise, one of the runes lights up like a north star, clearly beckoning us in one direction.
“Holy fuck.” The expletive sounds wrong coming from Sebastian’s mouth, but I can’t be bothered to make a joke. My heart slams against my ribs as if it’s trying to follow the i’xal to our mate. We’re close. Finally.
With lighter hearts and renewed determination, we head back to the stairs that lead to the upper deck.
I’m exhausted from the short swim, my body sore in ways that go beyond my age.
I know I’ve been pretty sedentary in the last several years, but it’s not just the exertion. It’s the bonding sickness.
As I put my foot on the first step, my head feels woozy and a bout of nausea threatens to have me keeling over. I climb up another, and the world spins. I pushed myself too far. My eyes roll back, and everything goes black.