Chapter 63 Marianne
MARIANNE
The doctors have told me it’s terminal. Richard was the first person I shared the news with.
He offered to pay for a second opinion, and I know he’s able to get me the best treatment money could buy, but it’s too late.
The clock is ticking. It’s time I share my truth.
Starting with the truth about what happened.
The truth about that girl, Danielle Dixon.
The lake house is the place where I realised how far a mother’s love goes. The boundless, unconditional devotion to a human being you created. It’s the only way I can explain why I did what I did.
It was a normal holiday until she went missing.
I slipped out of the house whilst Gerry and Luke bonded over a football match I’d forced them to watch, and came to the lake house to meet Richard.
Like I did every time he was here. Evelyn never ventured that far.
I didn’t expect what I saw when I arrived.
Theo passed out in bed, half-dressed and in a deep sleep.
Evidence of drugs on the coffee table. I had no idea that he’d left Croatia.
The real nightmare started with what was outside on the deck.
A girl I’d never seen before was lying face down on the decking.
Her bare legs were mottled blue. Blood and vomit puddled together around her corpse.
It was every mother’s worst nightmare.
At that point I thought Theo had a promising football career ahead of him, and I knew that if I called the police or ambulance – not that there would be any point – he would be arrested.
His life would be over before it started.
Whatever the circumstances, a young girl had lain dying and he hadn’t helped her.
I panicked. It was too late to save her and there was no way my son could go to prison. All I could do was clean up his mess.
Richard was as horrified as I was at the scene. He told me to let Theo sleep. We could make this go away.
I’ve agonised over our actions for years.
Richard rolled the girl’s body in a rug and gently moved her into the boot of his car.
I couldn’t watch. We didn’t know who she was.
She didn’t have any ID on her. We were running out of time before dawn broke and people realised we were gone.
I’d told Gerry I was sleeping in the spare room with a migraine.
Richard said he would get rid of her. By this point, I was too numb to question him.
I didn’t want to know where he was planning on putting her.
I already knew too much. Instead, I kept busy and worked on autopilot.
I scrubbed the blood off the decking, flushed the drugs, and made the house sparkling clean.
Theo slept through it all.
I was about to leave when I saw his phone was on the side of the bed. It was open on a half-written text message. A long, rambling message blaming this girl for bringing drugs. Only the first part of his message had sent, something about how she made him do it.
I slipped home. Gerry and Luke had fallen asleep. No one saw me leave or return. I threw my clothes in the wash. My trembling hands stank of bleach and my palms were red raw from scrubbing the evidence at the lake house. I still can’t believe I did what I did. The power of a mother’s love.
Theo arrived home a few weeks later full of stories about what he’d been up to in Croatia, with photographs and a forged certificate. I never confessed that I knew where he was. We glossed over the lies.
Sometimes it’s easier to stick your head in the sand.
The story was everywhere. Danielle Dixon’s name would haunt me forever.
I couldn’t have imagined the circus her disappearance caused.
Everyone was talking about her, I was mute with fear that I would slip up.
The paranoia got so bad that I went to the doctors and was prescribed sleeping tablets.
I was convinced Luke and Gerry would tell something was up.
Neither of them did. They put my spontaneous tears down to the menopause.
When Danielle’s jacket and camera were discovered, people assumed she was in the water.
We hadn’t checked if she’d dropped anything.
The discovery added to the theory that she went into the lake.
I presumed Richard had put her on his boat, rowed into the deepest part, weighed her down, and pushed her in.
But no police divers have ever found any trace of her.
I was hysterical with worry when the police announced they had Danielle’s phone.
Convinced they would connect Theo to her death, and Richard and my part in the clean-up would come to light.
Mercifully, Richard used his contact at the police.
All it took was one crooked officer to destroy the phone the moment it came in from that poor school teacher as evidence.
I’ve had numerous panic attacks over the years, but Richard has always managed to calm me down, in the way that only he can.
I’m so grateful that he took care of things.
He would never let me – or Theo – down. Richard had to protect his son.
He was merely fulfilling his fatherly duty, something I am eternally grateful for.
I should have destroyed her Polaroid a long time ago. I don’t know why I kept it after finding it during my clean-up of the lake house. Something inside me couldn’t get rid of it. It felt too final.
Wherever he put her body, I know that he would have done it to protect me and the boys. I know he will take care of Luke and Theo, I’ve seen how protective he is. The lengths he will go to. I can sleep easy, knowing they will be ok . . .