Wren
A WEEK LATER
Things had been trying to simmer down after the incident at the gender reveal. I honestly didn’t think that things were gon’ end that way. My heart truly wish that things would’ve ended differently.
Ever since then, I’ve been tossing myself into book after book, trying my best to escape reality. I didn’t want to know what was going on around me. My nervous system has been shot. I’ve been waiting to get the news that my daddy was dead.
Today, I was sitting at Honey he’d already replaced us.” A piercing pain thumped in my chest.
“I don’t know why you keep letting that son of a bitch get you worked up.
That man ain’t yo’ fucking daddy. Never was.
Trayvon is yo’ fucking daddy. He raised you.
He put clothes on yo’ back. He put food in yo’ mouth.
He was there for every single important role in yo’ life and still is.
Fuck Big John, and I’m gon’ make sure that he die slow when I get my hands on him. ”
“It still don’t stop it from hurting.”
“You don’t need that funky bitch. Bring yo’ ass home. You’re lucky yo’ feelings already hurt, so I’m gon’ spare yo’ ass this time, but you better figure out what yo’ explanation gon’ be by the time you get here.” The phone beeped, alerting me that he’d hung up.
Trying to talk to Maniac about how I feel wasn’t working for me. It’s like he’s brushing off my feelings. I know he isn’t doing it intentionally, but that’s how he makes me feels sometimes.
Wiping my eyes with my shirt, I placed the car in drive and pulled off.
When I made it to the house, Maniac was sitting in the family room with Zilla in the corner of the room lying on the floor. I’m surprised to see both of them in the same room. I know Maniac doesn’t care too much for him. I’ve tried almost everything to get them to bond, but it hasn’t worked.
“Hey,” I spoke, gaining his attention. He looked up at me and then turned his attention back to the television. “I know that you’re probably mad because I lied about going to work. I just needed some alone time.”
“Maybe if your lying ass had been at work like you were supposed to, you wouldn’t have ran into him.”
“You know what, I’m not doing this with you. I’m going to Aria’s house.”
His eyes darted to me. “Are you sure you’re going to her house?” His brow arched to his hairline.
“I’on know. Why don’t you find out,” I shot back at him and stormed out of there.
I stood there on Aria’s porch, rubbing my belly with tears in my eyes. I’d been here and just now wanted to get out the car and go inside. My feelings were crushed. All I wanted to do was go back to that coffee shop and slap the hell out of Daddy. He was wrong and he know it.
The door pulled open and Aria stood there. Her brows dipped when she looked me in the face. I’m sure it was obvious that I’d been crying.
“Who do I need to stab?” she asked, gripping me by the hand and pulling me into the house.
“I’m such a fool,” left my lips as I went over and took a seat on the couch.
“What are you talking about?”
“I really believed Daddy even though stuff wasn’t really adding up. Turns out, he just went out and made another family. That’s why he didn’t want us.”
“Aww.” Aria rushed over to where I sat and pulled me into her embrace.
“I ran into him and his big happy family today. This shit hurts.”
“I know it does.” She soothingly stroked my back. “I’m gon’ fuck him up whenever I see him.”
“That’s if Maniac doesn’t kill him first.” I sniffled.
Giving the circumstances and everything that Maniac just said about Uncle Trayvon earlier, he was right.
Daddy was nothing but a stranger. Uncle Trayvon was my real father.
At this point, I don’t really care what they do with him. He no longer means anything to me.
“Oh, Maniac is definitely going to kill him, but I’m gon’ fuck him up.” Aria got up from the sofa and went into the kitchen. Not long after, she came back with a bowl and spoon in her hand. “This should make you feel better for the time being,” she said when she handed me the bowl. Ice cream.
“You know the way to a girl’s heart.”
“Maybe I should start dating girls then,” she joked with a giggle.
“Wait… what happened with you and the guy you were talking to?”
“That’s it… nothing. All we’ve been doing is talking. He wants to see me, but I’m scared.”
“Why?”
Shrugging, she took a seat on the sofa alongside me. “I don’t know. It’s been so long since I’ve really opened up to someone. I just don’t want to get hurt, you know?”
“I understand that, but what’s love without risk?
He just might be what you need and you’re keeping him at a distance because you’re scared of getting hurt.
If you really want a relationship and your own lil family, you gon’ have to put yo’ fears to the side.
You can get to know him with healthy boundaries. ”
“I guess you’re right.”
I stuffed the spoon into my mouth and moaned. The doorbell rang and Aria got up from her seat. She took a peek out the window and turned back to me. “Speaking of relationships. Yours is standing on the porch. You want me to open the door?”
“Go away, Maniac!” I yelled at him and stuffed some more ice cream in my mouth.
“You really wanna do this again?” he asked through the door, and I remembered what happened the last time we didn’t open the door for him.
To save Aria the trouble, I got up and opened the door to find him standing there with a bouquet of sunflowers in his hand.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that earlier. ”
Rolling my eyes, I walked off and sat back down on the sofa. “Buying me flowers ain’t gon’ fix it.” I stuffed some more ice cream into my mouth.
“I’m gon’ give y’all some space but if she sounds like she needs help in here, I must warn you, I got a bat back there that I ain’t afraid to use.”
“Aria, you bring yo’ ass from back there with a bat and I’m gon’ beat you with that damn bat. Fuck on somewhere,” Maniac warned her. She gave him the bird finger and trotted down the hallway toward her bedroom.
Maniac shut the door behind him and took a seat on the sofa alongside me.
“You’re right. Flowers isn’t gon’ fix it.
I have to be more considerate of yo’ feelings.
You gotta give a nigga some credit. I’m trying here.
I’on know much ’bout no damn relationship.
I just be talking, giving you tough love ’cause you gon’ have to learn one way or another.
Everything ain’t what it seems. Big John don’t give a fuck ’bout you.
I just wanted you to see that shit. If ain’t nobody else gon’ tell you, I’m gon’ always tell you the truth. ”
“And I thank you for that.” My head rested against his shoulder. If I’m gon’ be with this man, I’m gon’ have to develop tough skin.