Chapter 35 #2
I swallow the lump in my throat. In, hold it for three seconds. Out. I shift toward her and shake my head, not daring to look at the claw marks I made on her face.
Jade rolls her eyes and motions to the cushioned seat across from her. When I move forward, she grabs the empty glass near the wall and fills it, letting a bloody red liquid slosh until it settles at the top. “Sit. He always makes too much.”
“Thank you,” I mutter and sit across from her.
When she slides the glass toward me, I reach for it at first only to rip my hand back nervously.
A slight smile tilts one side of her mouth, dimples complementing the subtle scratches running along her cheek.
Jade pulls it by the brim and smells it first. Then, she sips, letting the wine paint her lips red.
“This poison doesn’t taste as potent as it used to. ”
An awkward laugh escapes me. I take the glass from her with a considerable amount of hesitation, and drink. When I don’t slump forward in my own sick, I drink again. “Thank you.”
Jade waves me off with a subtle wrist flick and drinks from her own glass, but it’s hard not to notice the way she grimaces when she raises her arm to do so.
Bloody splotches soak through the plain white bandages on her torso, and when she moves, I can’t help but see just how much of her body they cover.
Everything from the base of her neck downward is bandaged.
Nik told me she’d live, not that I mangled her in a way that wouldn’t heal completely.
“How are you feeling?” I ask, holding back the urge to down my glass and help myself to seconds. Maybe thirds.
Both of Jade’s eyebrows lift in surprise. “You don’t have to, you know?” she says flatly.
I chew on my cheek as an uncomfortable silence lingers between us. “Have to what?” I finally respond.
Jade polishes off what’s left in her glass and reaches for the wine bottle, filling it once more.
“Pretend to care. We both know how we wanted that fight to end. At least a part of you does.” She pauses and drinks again, leaning farther back into the cushion.
"A wolf doesn’t apologize to their prey.
So forgive me if I’m not buying the compassionate bullshit. ”
Okay … I don’t just chew my cheek anymore but bite until nickel lathers my tongue.
She’s right. Well, partially. She wanted to kill me, that wasn’t a secret.
And if Nik didn’t intervene, there’s no doubt I’d be sitting in this hall alone right now.
Part of me wanted her dead, and while I’m not sure if it was truly me or the wolf simmering inside that demanded her heart on a plate, it doesn’t change the fact that she has claw marks on most of her body because of me.
“I can’t blame you for using my assumptions of your weakness against me. These scars will serve as a reminder of that.” She lifts her glass in a toast, and I do the same. “Santé to your victory.”
We both drink, the bitterness washing the blood and apprehension off my tongue. The chef, a short man in white with a matching hat, pushes through the kitchen doors and eyes me in surprise. When he glances at Jade, his mouth and bushy mustache purse to one side.
Jade raises two fingers without missing a beat, and he nods before returning to the back. She tops off our glasses again, adding the final droplets to hers.
“If it’s any consolation,” I say, adding a mouthful and swallowing. “I’d rather fight Viktor again than you.”
The heiress halts mid-sip, her green eyes narrowing. She cranes her head over the table and whispers, “Viktor? You fought that monster and survived?”
“Kind of?” I say, scratching at my temple.
“To be fair, he wasn’t trying to kill me the first time.
I was bait to lure Nik home. The second time, I’m not sure what he would’ve done if Dimitri didn’t pull me under the fence.
That’s when he …” I trail off and stare down at my glass, sloshing the liquid in a tiny circle.
“He bit you.”
I nod and bring the glass to my lips, choking back as much as I can in one gulp. The chef returns with two plates and sets them in front of us. Cuts of beef, carrots, and sauteed mushrooms adorn the center, steam wafting between us. She offers him a small “Merci,” and I do the same.
Jade runs her finger around the brim of her glass, seeming to contemplate what she wants to say. “Did you want to be turned? Say, if it were Nik that bit you?”
It’s the same question I’ve asked myself since I escaped the Vostik compound.
Would I have wanted to become a werewolf if it meant being with the man I can’t imagine being without?
I don’t know. I don’t know if this life, one fearing what I’ll become during a full moon, was one I would’ve wanted.
“It doesn’t matter anymore. Viktor took that choice from me. ”
Jade nods with consideration. “It seems I underestimated you more than I thought.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, grating my lip with my teeth.
She tilts her head, jet-black hair flowing to one side.
“I’ve seen mutts cling to the next alpha in line my whole life.
There’s something to be said about power and how many try to taste a piece of it.
I thought you were no different the moment you tiptoed into my father’s study.
” She swirls the wine in her glass, nearly spilling what’s left.
“You didn’t want this life. Your heartbeat is obvious enough to know that. ”
I put my hand to my chest as if I could muffle the sound behind it.
Jade smirks and drinks again. “You really need to learn to control that.”
“Easier said than done,” I scoff. “If it means anything, I didn’t know Nik when you two were supposed to …”
She laughs while forking the biggest piece of meat and bringing it to her mouth. “You wouldn’t be alive if you did. I’m not proud of how I reacted to his refusal, and what that meant for my birthright.” Jade grins but she can’t hide the embarrassment in her stunning features.
I pick at my own plate. “Birthright? Aren’t you next in line? For your pack?”
It’s not a snarl or chuckle that escapes Jade now, but somewhere in between. “You’ve seen the portraits of our past alphas by now. Tell me. Did you notice any similarities?”
I did. I noticed it our first night here. From one alpha to the next, there was something glaringly obvious in how the role to lead the pack was passed down. “Forgive me. I figured with everyone calling you the heiress, it meant—”
“Everyone but my father.” Jade drops her fork and it clatters on the porcelain plate, silencing me.
She might be able to read my heartbeat effortlessly, but for the first time since meeting her, I am able to sense an irregular rhythm taking hold in her chest. She draws a breath and rights herself, letting the erratic thumps dampen.
“I was not raised to lead this pack. But to serve its alpha. I knew Nikolai Vostik didn’t want to be the alpha of his own pack, much less mine.
At least with him, I’d be free to take on that role without intrusion.
To carry on my family’s legacy in spite of how I was born. ”
I stare down at my plate, poking at the largest carrot chunk.
She wasn’t the only one to make assumptions.
From the second I came here, I thought I was dealing with someone jealous of what Nik and I have.
Some petty vendetta, when in reality, she didn’t want Nik at all.
She needed someone that wouldn’t interfere.
All Jade wanted was to walk in her father’s footsteps despite this rite of passage being reserved for another man’s portrait to be tacked to the walls.
“So, we both had choices made for us,” I say, peering at her adjust uncomfortably in her seat.
In that moment, Jade’s green eyes find mine, not with malice, not the hatred I’ve grown accustomed to, but understanding.
We eat, trading the occasional glances and comments between forkfuls.
An heiress to a pack she will never command and a newly turned wolf figuring how to survive in a world she was never meant to be a part of.
The steady growl I’ve felt since Viktor bit me isn’t there, not tonight.
No, for once, I am as close to myself as I’ve ever been.
I only pray the blood moon doesn’t strip away what’s left and make me something I don’t even recognize.