Chapter Thirty-one #2
“Brightside has a pizzeria, called The Minute Man. I love their special. Has mushrooms and olives on it and it isn’t greasy like the other place in town.”
“Okay, then. Want me to go get it? I can’t imagine they deliver,” he asked, and Peony waved him back to his seat as she got up.
“They’ll deliver. The owner is an old friend of mine. He’ll bring it out himself if I ask. I’ll go order it now, so we can eat at a reasonable time.”
“It would be nice not to have to make dinner,” Jake admitted. “I’m so mentally worn out my body isn’t quite sure what to do with itself.”
Peony laughed quietly and glanced over at Tanner.
“Him too. He’s been running on empty for days.
Thank you for what you did today. I don’t know if I should even utter the what-if’s, but the two of you, if you’d met under other circumstances—” She pressed her lips together and looked at Jake for a moment then back at Tanner, who let out a small snore.
“I want to say that we’re good now, but jury’s still out on that one,” Jake said.
“I think you two could be friends,” Peony added, a look almost like relief as she said it.
“We’re a lot alike,” Jake replied. “It would be anyone’s guess if we killed each other fir—”
“Tan needs someone who can go toe to toe with him, and you need someone to remind you that you’re a West, and push come to shove, you can do anything you set your mind to. I think the two of you would be a powerhouse for this ranch,” she said quickly, before he could finish his own thought.
Jake blinked at that statement. If anything, Tanner had reminded him he wasn’t a true West time and time again, and he was well aware he hadn’t grown up here with the experiences and honing of ranch life to give him the hardness and skills a spread like this needed.
“I don’t know about that,” he said. “I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m too soft to make it out here.”
Peony smiled. “It isn’t about what he thinks, it’s about how he pushes you, and what you can be for each other.
You’re not alone anymore. You’ve got someone to remind you of what you’re capable of who shares more than just a last name.
You’ve got family here to guide you, no matter what you decide to do in the end. ”
Jake looked over at his sleeping brother. Maybe Peony was right. “Point taken. It would be nice to be on good terms when all this is figured out.”
“I think so too. Now, you should go find Liz. She loves Minute Man pizza, and she’ll be ticked if we don’t share.”
Jake caught Peony’s eyes sparkling with mischief as she stood.
He’d been around her long enough to know she’d seen their tension and was meddling, as any good mother should. He chuckled and they smiled at one another.
“All right, all right. Message received. When should we be expected back for dinner?”
“Pizza reheats, dear. Take as much time as you need,” she replied as she headed to the back den. “I don’t doubt you have some things to talk about.”
Jake set his book down and looked over at Tanner, who was sprawled out like he hadn’t slept in weeks.
Completely relaxed, his legs half on, half off the sofa, his arms flopped out, his mouth wide open.
He was out cold and hadn’t even woken up as they were talking.
This might be the first real sleep he’d gotten in a while.
Jake carefully laid a tartan lap blanket over his torso, which Tanner, in his sleep, grabbed and gathered up under his chin, muttering something about rotating fields.
“Get some sleep, cowboy,” Jake muttered, and paced out of the room to the back mud porch. He pulled on his boots and headed to where he thought Liz might be, deep in thought about what he would say to her when he found her.
He was out of his element with her, how he felt, what he wanted very different from what he was supposed to want.
Between this afternoon’s drama with Tanner and everything else that had been thrown his way the moment he stepped onto West Line Ranch land, he was completely and utterly lost when it came to understanding how Liz fit into the picture other than the fact that he was falling for her despite himself.
He had to figure out how this could work, given that he wasn’t a permanent fixture here.
The stable was full of laughter and happy conversations among the boarders as they tacked up, horses and equipment everywhere he looked. He ducked into Liz’s office, but she wasn’t there. He looked into the arena, but none of the women on horses were her.
He wandered down the aisle and spied Trevor, in the middle of tacking up a horse. Trevor waved him over.
“She’s up in the loft, doing a bale count,” he said and pointed to the steep stairs off to one side. He winked at Jake before he turned away to grab the bridle he’d set down, and Jake suppressed a groan.
Small towns and families. They always knew your business. This place was no exception. It didn’t bother him as much as it had when he’d first arrived. At least Trevor knew why he was going up there and wouldn’t bother them.
He stepped onto the loft floor, closing the door behind him and locking it for good measure. He’d never been up in the hayloft, and the high walls of square bales and the scent of sweet, drying grass wasn’t unpleasant. It was cozy and quiet, the sounds from downstairs muffled and distant.
He found her sitting in the tiny loft window, legs hanging over the edge. She turned as his boots clunked on the wood floor, and she tilted her head beside her, inviting him to sit.
“Bale count?” he asked as he sat.
“Excuse to get away from the crowd,” she replied with a small smile. “I can’t think when there are a lot of people around.”
“Lot to think about,” he said, trying not to be too obvious.
She hummed an uh-huh and shouldered him gently. “You too. Can’t imagine what was going through your head being in that cemetery.”
“I’ll deal with that later. I want to talk about what happened this morning,” he said, gesturing between them. They needed to clear the air, and if he didn’t do it now, it wouldn’t happen.
She sighed heavily and looked back out the window, scanning the landscape.
He waited, the tension in her shoulders stiff and high.
He wanted her to open up to him. He wanted more from her, and it was the same feeling he’d had this morning when he had to back away from overloading her and himself with the feelings that took hold when he so much as even looked at her.
He wanted their easy intimacy to mean more than just friends with benefits.
Every rational thought in his head was telling him it would lead to nowhere because he was leaving. But his heart would have none of it.
Even when he’d proposed to Ashley, his heart hadn’t contradicted him like this. His head had made that decision. Right now, his heart was screaming at him to not throw away this opportunity at something amazing. Right here was a woman who could stand up to him, for him, with him.
“When Darren cheated on me, I retreated into myself, not wanting to put myself out there just to be hurt again,” she blurted before he could say anything else.
“You said as much at the bookstore,” he replied. She was talking, so he waited to explain why he’d reacted to her the way he had.
She let out a heavy breath and her shoulders settled. “I think I don’t trust others easily, in general. Like, I trust Tanner and Brady, right, but that’s different. Or at least I tell myself it is.”
“Right. They’re family,” he said.
“Yeah, they are, but my dad . . . he . . . well, he wasn’t a good dad. Mom packed us up into her station wagon and we left in the middle of the night. I was eleven.”
“That must’ve been hard leaving like that, as a kid,” he said.
“Easier than staying,” she said, and glanced at him. “He was an alcoholic. You know what that can be like. My dad was an angry drunk, and he had a gambling addiction, which meant he could get—”
Jake hadn’t known anything about Liz’s father; it had never come up with either her or Peony. However, he did know what it could be like to live with someone who suffered from addiction. He and Liz had more in common than he’d even realized.
“Anyway, yesterday, there was this kid with her dad in the stable. He was making her laugh and helping her tack up. It got me thinking about Brady’s situation, about Brett and all his damned secrets, and then I started thinking about my dad, which made me think about—”
She waved her hands in the air in a big circle and let out a breath.
“About what?” he prompted quietly.
“I think, in some stupid, fucked up way, I don’t trust my gut or my heart when it comes to love of any kind and it’s because of my dad, somehow.
Not being what I needed, disappointing me over and over.
If I don’t trust people, I can’t be disappointed.
If I don’t fall in love, I can’t have my heart broken.
Case in point, Darren telling me I was emotionally unavailable. ”
“Doesn’t excuse his cheating,” Jake groused, and she nodded, a soft, “Uh-huh,” echoing out of her.
Jake watched her face as she wrinkled her nose and looked out the loft window.
He wasn’t sure what else to say to that.
She was digging deep into herself right now.
He touched her arm, and she let out a huff, focusing back on him.
“Some next-level daddy issues, right?” she said.
“You and everyone else living here right now,” Jake replied dryly.
That made her snort and push at his shoulder. He chuckled, happy that some of the tension was broken. They sat quietly, Jake’s eyes following some swallows diving up and down from a tree nearby, little trills and warbles echoing into the evening air.