Chapter One #2
A few days after that, he’d apologized to Peony—which she’d told him to stuff because there was nothing to apologize for—and then asked her if he was right in his notion.
She’d confirmed it, and now, here he was, still holding that information to himself, unsure what to do with it.
“Brady. You gonna go change?”
Brady looked up from the ties to Jake, back in his jeans and button-down shirt.
He’d fallen down the damned hole thinking about all of it, zoning out like an empty-headed idiot.
The entire problem was always there, just below the surface, popping up more and more often to pick at his anxiety.
There wasn’t a day that he didn’t think about his real father, and what he should do about it.
“Yeah, yeah,” he replied, and stepped into the change room. “We need to get Grumpy a beer for putting up with us.”
Jake laughed at that and turned to talk to Tanner while Brady stepped behind the curtain.
He needed a drink too.
Ten minutes later, as they were leaving the store, Tanner slapped Brady on the arm. “Isn’t that Keith?”
Brady looked to where Tanner was pointing.
Sitting on one of the fancy mall benches not far from where they were was a stout gray-haired man, his equally as gray beard trimmed close to his jaw.
The familiar set of his shoulders and the way one leg splayed out farther than the other was instantly recognizable.
“Yeah, it is,” he said, his chest constricting. It was Keith all right. It had been nine years since he’d retired as their stable manager, and several since Brady had seen him at all.
A beautiful woman was beside him, her long, glossy dark hair shining in the mall lighting as she tossed it over her shoulder.
She was holding a striped shopping bag and a purse, and she and Keith were obviously talking about something funny, because she was laughing while he spoke, his hands waving in the air like they always did when he told a story.
Then Brady noticed her scrubs top under her jacket. A care worker? His stomach dropped as he took in the shiny metal walker parked squarely in front of the older man. He’d missed it upon first seeing him.
Keith looked up as if sensing them, and Brady met his eye. The recognition was there, and for a moment, neither of them moved. Then the older man stood shakily and waved them over with a smile that went from ear to ear.
Brady hesitated as Tanner and Jake started over, both of them waving back. Tanner looked behind him with a questioning glance.
“You comin’?” he asked.
Of course, Tanner had no idea why Brady would hesitate. Brady needed to get his shit together and deal with everything that was swirling inside of him the moment he laid eyes upon the man.
“Yeah,” Brady replied, steeled himself with a steady breath in and out, and made his way over to greet his father.
* * *
Caitlin nervously eyed the three imposingly handsome men standing in front of her.
She rose to her feet with Keith, one hand automatically on his walker so it wouldn’t slip as he balanced on it, her other hand out to his arm in case he needed help as he straightened.
When she shifted her attention from Keith to them, her breath caught and the spiral of anxiety that had been her constant companion for the past year or so rose up.
“Caity, my dear, I’d like you to meet the West boys. This one over here, I’d hazard, is Heather’s boy all grown up, and this is Tanner. The one beside him is—”
“Brady,” the least tall of the trio interjected, hands in his pockets. His eyes had not left Keith since they’d walked up, but they flicked to Caitlin, and she caught the worry in them before he looked away.
“This is Caitlin, my home nurse,” Keith added, and she nodded, trying to smile. Be polite, don’t let on that you are three seconds away from melting down for no apparent reason.
“Hello,” Jake said, nodding at her before turning his attention to Keith. “You’re right, I’m Jake. You would’ve known me as Henry, I think? I’m Heather’s.” Jake stepped in and shook Keith’s hand. “You’re our former stable manager, right?”
“I am indeed, son. My god, it was like Brett used a photocopier. Look at you,” he exclaimed, and if it was possible, beamed wider.
He was almost animated with how happy he was to see these men, and she focused on that instead of the response she’d had to them.
She turned her attention back to Keith and put her hand on his shoulder. “Keith, you should sit again.”
“All right, all right,” he said, and eased himself back to the bench, sighing as he did. Brady, whom she had decided was the least intimidating one of the bunch, smiled uneasily and sat down beside him.
“What did you do to yourself?” he asked.
“It’s my hip. It wore out. They gave me a titanium one instead,” Keith said, knocking on his hip gently with his fist.
Tanner’s biceps bulged as he crossed his arms, and she tamped back on the anxiety that caught her breath when she noticed. She backed up beside Keith, and sat on his other side, her legs shaking slightly from the tension that was taking over her body.
These men are not him, she repeated over and over in her head.
As silly as she felt with her reaction, little spikes of adrenaline across her skin tightening her chest were so familiar she couldn’t remember what it was like not to experience it whenever she met unfamiliar men, especially ones who were as big as these three were.
They were simply strangers, and she didn’t have to be afraid of them.
She wasn’t in danger and hadn’t been in danger for a while now.
She took a few cleansing breaths as silently as possible, the tightness easing as she reminded herself over and over in her head that she was fine.
“All those years getting thrown off horses caught up with you, didn’t it?” Tanner replied, his smile quirked to one side, humor in his voice. “I remember when you busted your back. How’s that doin’?”
“It healed up nice. Only twinges when we’re about to get rain,” Keith replied with a chuckle and smiled back. “Caity, I watched these two boys grow up, and I remember that one when he was still in his nappies.”
Keith pointed to Jake, who blushed and ran a hand through his hair.
It immediately disarmed him, as had Tanner smiling.
She glanced over at Brady, who was still sitting beside Keith.
He’d gone silent, his face serious, almost sad.
Their eyes met again, and he smiled tightly.
Something was bothering him. He was about as tense as she was.
It clicked a moment later, and she was able to calm herself further. The West boys. Right. These were good men.
She’d heard a few stories now from Keith about the West boys, how much trouble they’d gotten into, how they’d grown into strong, fine men.
Stories that involved horses more often than not and invariably ended with someone getting into some sort of trouble.
More stories about Brady, now that she thought about it, and none about Jake.
Keith had been at the ranch there a long time.
Obviously, they had lost touch with one another, since they were now catching up.
She forced herself to clasp her hands casually in her lap, trying her best to mirror their effortless ease.
She needed to get better with these knee-jerk initial reactions that sent her into a very dark place in the moment and left her tired afterward.
Her therapist said it was important to try pushing through them, even if it didn’t work.
Be present, take interest. Keep the conversation light, and it would get easier every time, the panic response less and less.
She took a deep breath and joined the conversation. “So, you didn’t grow up on the ranch, then.” She turned her attention to Jake, and his eyes swiveled to her. They were a gorgeous, warm brown. Kind and full of happiness.
“I left when I was around three, so I’m told, with my mom. We went to New York City. I came back last year when my dad died, and, well, liked it so much I stayed.”
“I was sorry to hear he’d passed.” Keith sighed. “How is Peony? It can’t have been easy for her, losin’ him like that.”
“She’s handled it well. Keeping us all in line.” Brady spoke up and gestured at Jake. “She’s neck-deep in wedding prep with Liz. This big lunk is marrying her.”
Keith let out a happy laugh and clapped his hands to his legs.
“Little Lizzie, gettin’ married? Well, that is good news.
I did hear she broke it off with that doctor.
Never thought he was right for her, but then, you young folks will do what yer gonna,” he mused.
“No surprise. She’s got the guts to take on a West man like her momma did. ”
They all laughed at that, and Brady shoved to his feet, his hands deep in his pockets as he did.
Caitlin knew the look on his face, the nervous tic, the tense posture.
She’d seen it on children of sick parents time and time again.
Sons and daughters who needed to have that serious talk but didn’t know where to start.
It was obvious he cared deeply about the older man and was perhaps regretful of their time apart.
“Listen, we need to get goin’, Lord knows what waits for us when we get back,” Tanner said, eyes darting to his brother. “Keith, you need to come visit us. It’s been too long.”
“I surely should. Once I’m on my feet better, I will. Peony can make some of her rhubarb cake to ease my pains. Harry still about?”
“You bet. His son joined us full time a bit back. He’d be happy to see you too,” Tanner said.
“Lord, I haven’t seen Rowan since he was just a boy. He was a hellion then,” Keith said, with a chuckle.
More laughter and agreement from the men, and Keith stood again, this time without any shake, which Caitlin thought might be on account of the happiness practically beaming from him.
Brady leaped to help him, and she blinked as she saw emotion cross both their faces when his hand gently grasped Keith’s bicep.
They both cleared their throats and Brady let go, Keith steadying on his walker.
There was more to the story of their relationship than just a former employee, and her heart twinged to think of what had caused that hurt. Her original anxiety at being faced with these men was gone, and she breathed easily as they all shook hands with her charge, promising to stay in touch.
She hurriedly rummaged in her purse for a pen and paper, an idea popping into her head. A chewed-up Bic in hand, she found an old receipt and scrawled Keith’s phone number and address on the back, then picked up her shopping bag, screwed up her courage, and touched Brady on his arm.
You are okay, this is fine, she repeated in her head as she fought the instinct to pull away and run. Even though she wasn’t exactly scared of him, it was a very big deal to touch another man, and her body knew it.
He halted, a curious look on his face. Her stomach did a small flip as she looked into his eyes.
“Hi.” Her voice wavered, and she took a deep breath, holding out the receipt. “I have something for you.”
“What’s this?” Brady asked.
“He doesn’t get many visitors. I can see how much you all mean to him. I thought maybe—”
“He’s by himself?”
She nodded. “I think he’s lonely.”
Brady took the receipt, looking down at it and then back at her. There was that emotion again, and she patted his arm, surprising herself at the urge to reassure him.
“I think you care about him too?” she said.
“He was a big part of our lives. We lost track of him, and I regret that,” he replied, carefully folding the scrap of paper into his jeans pocket, his eyes darting to his brothers and Keith ahead of them. “I . . . maybe I should come see him soon.”
With that, she removed her hand from his arm. She might’ve just overstepped. Keith was her favorite patient at the moment, and she wanted to help him in any way she could. It was hard to see him alone the way he was; he was such a wonderfully warm and charismatic man.
Keith had no children, no wife. A few friends would drop by for coffee once in a while, he’d said when she’d asked, but that was about it. This was an opportunity to give him some social support she knew he needed.
They caught up to Keith and the other two men a moment later.
Brady caught her eye as they all said their goodbyes.
His eyes were intelligent, flecked hazel, and she rather liked the color; they reminded her of her mother’s green and brown polished jasper pendant.
His gaze lingered on her for a moment, and she knew her face had flushed from the scrutiny.
“Thanks,” he said quietly to her, and she nodded.
She put her arm through Keith’s as they left, processing the gamut of what she’d seen. There was a lot being unsaid. Not her place to pry, but it almost felt like a reunion of family, not randomly bumping into old friends.
“Ready to head home yourself?” she asked brightly. “You’ve already done had quite a bit of walking, we don’t want to overdo it, and it’s a bit of a drive back to Brightside.”
Keith nodded, the same emotion she’d seen from Brady in him. She squeezed his arm, and he took a deep breath and plastered on his big smile, the one she liked most from him, because it meant he was happy.
“My dear, yes. I’m glad we came out today. But I’m mighty tired now.”
They turned and headed for the opposite exit, where Caitlin had parked his truck. He turned once as they shuffled along, watching as the three men pushed through the glass doors back out into the sunshine.
“They mean a lot to you, don’t they?” she said.
“More than you can imagine, my dear,” he replied, and patted her hand resting on his forearm. “But it was a long time ago, and another life. They’ve done well. Proud of them. All three.”
He smiled again, this one tinged with sadness, and she didn’t press further, knowing he wanted to shake it off, as he did when he had something hard to do.
She’d seen that many times when she pushed him through a new exercise or stretch, and she admired his tenacity to keep going, even when it hurt.
“Well, then let’s go home and I’ll make you some coffee before I go,” she said brightly.
“A sound plan,” he agreed. “I could use one.”