Chapter 12
ATLAS
I rubbed my hand on the back of my neck, annoyed, but not with the person on the other line.
“Lydia. I don’t know what to tell you. We have the contract, and I know we’re figuring out what to do next, but I don’t have any answers for you.”
My longtime agent, who had been with me since before I was drafted, and had helped me navigate this world of professional hockey, sighed.
But it wasn’t a disappointed sigh. Not in me.
She knew better than anyone the timetables and pressures it took to make a contract work.
Not just for my career in playing, but in all of the other endorsement deals and the nitty-gritty things that came with it.
She knew what she was doing and was damn good at it.
But the pressure on her had to be insurmountable at this point.
And here I was, making things even more difficult for her, because I didn’t have any answers.
Oh, I could have them if I let myself be honest, but everything had been a whirlwind since I had come back to town, and no amount of pretending to relax was going to help.
“I know that, Atlas.” Her voice was soft and soothing, as if she were trying to calm down a raging kitten.
I wasn’t quite sure I liked comparing myself to a kitten at that moment, but I had a headache.
I needed to be training and working on getting ready for the next season. No amount of talk of retirement, careers after hockey, or an endorsement deal was going to get me ready for being back on the ice and actually working out.
“The management team is having a field day, and it’s not on your shoulders. I’m going to handle it, but there’s been some talk.”
I froze, worried.
“What kind of talk?”
“Are you seeing somebody?” she asked me. “I realize that it’s none of my business, except that it is. You are still in the news cycle because of the attack. And while we all agreed that it was most likely a fan from the other team, one they somehow cannot find, it’s still an unknown.”
I swallowed hard, trying not to remember the pain of lying there in that shower, when I hadn’t even realized exactly what had happened until it was too late.
“I’m pissed off that they haven’t been able to find him.”
“Same here. And the detective in charge has already heard me yell at him.”
My brows raised. “Really?”
“What? I’m taking care of my people. And you are my people. But there have been some rumors on a few social sites that you’ve been seeing your ex. And since there are only slight rumors, and you’ve never truly been in a relationship for your entire career, I’m assuming it’s Ms. Elizabeth?”
Lydia didn’t know everything when it came to my past with Lizzie. Of course, she didn’t. I had barely let myself believe in the truth of what we’d once had—and what we had now.
But she knew enough of it because I had been a morose little shit when Lizzie and I had broken up.
When I had left her behind and broken her heart.
All because I hadn’t seen the trees in front of me and realized I could have had more.
I had thought I’d been doing the right thing, had felt that we had both agreed, but I had been wrong.
Oh, so fucking wrong. Because I was a damn idiot.
“Atlas?”
“Lizzie and I are seeing each other. I love her.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“Really?”
“Does she know what’s coming once the world finds out? You’re still one of hockey’s hottest bachelors according to that poll.”
I groaned. “No. I’m not going to think about that.”
“About the poll? Or the fact that Lizzie is going to have to face certain realities when she comes with you to games.”
Ice filled my veins, and I swallowed hard, trying not to grip the phone too tightly. “I don’t think she’ll be coming to games,” I whispered.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Lizzie’s a teacher here. Ashford protects its own, so she’ll be safe here, but she can’t come on the road with me. She does important work here, and the town needs her.”
“She’s not the reason that you’re going to retire, is she?”
“No.”
“Wait. You are an adult and capable of making your own decisions. And you’ve always made smart ones.
If this is your last year because you want it to be, or because you want to settle down with the love of your life, then go for it.
If you want me to talk with Elizabeth, or have any one of your team do so, so that she’s prepared for what could happen if she goes to a game or if the world finds out her name, let me know.
I protect you because you’re my client, and my friend, and I’m going to protect your girl too. ”
And just like that, the tension eased from my shoulders. Whatever happened next, it wouldn’t be easy, not with my career, the ongoing investigation, and Lizzie, but I had people in my corner. Including my family. And for that, I would forever be grateful.
“You’re a good egg, Lydia.”
I could practically hear the eyeroll in her voice. “I’m so glad you think so, Mr. Carter. Now, let’s go through a few more things, and then you can get back to the weight room. I know you’re dying to do so.”
“I’ve only done my yoga today, and a quick run. So yes. And I need to get back on the ice as well as to the weight room.”
“Don’t you have that small skating center that you built? Is that not enough?”
“When I was a kid, we used to have to travel over an hour every day just for me to practice. My mom spent far too many hours dealing with my ungrateful ass, and I love her for it. And while building an entire stadium or something ridiculous here is not feasible, not if we want to keep the integrity of the environment intact, I don’t know, I want to do something.
To help others like me.” Thoughts of Will filled my mind, and the fact that we had the small arena I’d built, but not much else.
“Well, we can talk about that. Make something happen. I’m sure there’s a facility that is already built, or space that you can make work that won’t destroy the environment. There are some good resources out there. And honestly, the more people we get playing hockey, the better.”
“Did you know that there isn’t a girl’s or women’s team still in any high school and beyond here and nearby? No clubs, nothing. You have to go all the way down to Denver to make that work, and it’s highly competitive there.”
“I do know that. I’m an agent for a few PWHL players. You know that.”
“Oh, right. I forgot.” A few things rolled through my mind, and I frowned. “I’m just rambling at this point, but I don’t know. Maybe there’s something that I can do, even if it’s not exactly in the middle of downtown Ashford Creek.”
“You and Gray were able to find a way to play professional hockey from your town. You can make something work. After you at least finish this season. I want a Cup, mister.”
I pressed my lips together, trying not to laugh, even though she probably heard it.
“I think we all do, ma’am.”
“Do not ma’am me. I’m still a New Yorker at heart. If you ma’am me, I’m going to have to maim you.”
“Understood. Seriously, though, thank you. For listening.”
“I’d say that’s what I’m here for, but I’m here for even more.
Talk with your Elizabeth, and let me know if there’s anything I can do there.
But Atlas? If you want to be part of her life and want her to be part of yours, maybe you should introduce her to the world you live in now.
The WAGs would welcome her in. You have one of the best teams out there when it comes to emotional stability and acceptance. ”
“I just don’t want her to run away.”
“I think you’re underestimating both of you if you think that,” she said softly, and then we said our goodbyes before I headed off to the gym.
Jacob had long since headed back to Portland.
He was from there, so his off-season pretty much meant that if he didn’t travel and get away from his family, he hung out in the city.
He was already working with our trainer, and some of the team assets that had begun early, and that meant I needed to get my ass in there.
I was the starting goalie for the Portland Gliders, and I needed to prove it.
I rolled my shoulders back and then pulled up my phone once again.
Me
What are you wearing?
Lizzie
Well, let’s see, my silk teddy is at the dry cleaners, so my cut-off jeans and ratty T-shirt are just going to have to do.
My lips tilted into a smile, imagining her in her comfortable wear. She was so fucking sexy, and usually she didn’t believe me when I said so. I would have to make sure she understood once I got home.
Home. To the place I currently shared with Will until he bolted, but that was becoming less and less likely a possibility as the kid began to get more comfortable.
Hell, as all of us did. I wasn’t Will’s father, but I could be his friend, and he needed someone to lean on.
I didn’t mind being that person. And again, it reminded me of the plans I needed to make once I got out of this career thing. If I wanted to.
Me
Is Will teaching you how to garden?
Lizzie
*Middle finger emoji*
Me
Oh, keep talking dirty to me.
Lizzie
Go train. You’re losing all of your muscles, and soon you’re not even going to have a twelve-pack, just a meager eight-pack.
I patted my abs and grinned.
Me
You can count them later with your tongue.
A new text message popped up, and I laughed full out.
Will
You know, I can read these texts when her phone is right by mine, and we’re digging in dirt.
Me
Maybe you could learn how to talk to women.
Will
Yes, I can talk to your brother then.
It was my turn to flip the kid off, and as I said my goodbyes, I realized that the three of us were figuring out our own way. Or at least, a routine. One that would be changing soon, I knew, but it wasn’t as if I could help it. My life was in Portland, and yet, my heart was in Ashford Creek.
Finding the balance might break me, but I would.
I didn’t have another option.