Chapter 13
ELIZABETH
My back against the wall, I looked up into soft blue eyes and swallowed hard. “We’re going to be late.”
“Does it matter?” Atlas asked, and I had to wonder exactly where he got his audacity from. Of course, maybe I liked that audacity. And maybe I wanted more of it.
“You have a thing about time. Even more so than me. You weird goalie, you.” I reached up and traced my finger along his bearded jaw.
“I’m going to have to shave this soon.” He tilted his face into my touch and smiled. “Those are the rules.”
“I do like you with a beard, though.”
A groan escaped his lips. “What if I just do the mustache that Thatcher sometimes does?”
Because I couldn’t help but tease, I said, “Thatcher is hot as hell when he does that mustache of his.”
Atlas had one hand by my head, leaning against the wall, and he took the other to pinch my hip. “Excuse me? Are you over here saying another man is hot?”
“I don’t know why you’re surprised. Thatcher is hot. I mean, Ashford Creek doesn’t have a shortage of hot men. I’m just saying.”
“I realize that you’re trying to make me jealous, but I’m holding it in.”
“So you’re not going to glare every time he needs to help me with something around the house?”
He scowled then, and I reached up and tapped his nose with my finger. “I have never been on a date or liked or wanted Finnian, Sterling, Thatcher, or anyone else.”
“You just like Thatcher’s mustache, don’t you?” His scowl deepened as he grumbled.
“He has to wear that mask as a firefighter. You can’t get a good seal if you have a beard, hence the mustache. Although I don’t think his kids like it, so he tends to shave it. He’s all barefaced right now.”
“Again, I hear the tone.”
I fluttered my eyelashes, trying to play coy. I wasn’t good at it, but Atlas loved me anyway. Loved me. What a concept. It still surprised and scared me daily, but I was learning to lean into it—even with the fear. “What? They’re our friends. We’re allowed to find them hot.”
“Is that in the rule book somewhere?” he asked.
I loved teasing Atlas. Because when I did, it felt like we had no worries, and time wasn’t quickly escaping us.
But that obviously wasn’t the case.
“You leave soon.”
He studied my face, his gaze intent. “I do. Training starts soon, and I want to make sure I don’t let the team down.” He was a force behind team morale. The only reason he wasn’t a captain in truth was that goalies couldn’t be captains thanks to logistics. “We have tonight. And a few more days.”
“And then you’ll be in Portland,” I said softly. “And frankly, I know you’re antsy to get back on the ice.”
He grimaced but kept his eyes on me. “I love being on the ice, baby.”
It wasn’t a kick to the heart because I loved that he loved it.
He shined on the ice. Whenever he was in the crease, the world stopped, and he was a master at his craft.
Just like before, I couldn’t and wouldn’t hold him back.
It was all the other pesky details that stood in the way.
“And you should. You’re good at it, you know. ”
“Just good?”
“I mean, you’re fine, I guess.”
“You really do love testing me, don’t you?”
“There’s a reason that you are always a fan favorite and win all the awards.”
“Not all of them.”
“Enough of them. And while the forwards usually get the best of things, because of those whole point things. You do okay for yourself.”
“I appreciate that,” he said dryly, then softly, “It’s not forever.”
“I know. And whatever you decide for next year, that’s up to you. You do realize that, right?” I reached down, hooking my fingers in his belt loops as usual. “You need to be the one to decide if you want to retire and find something else to do. I’m not going to take that from you.”
“I love being on the ice,” he repeated. “But I don’t love all of the traveling, the constant hotels, the media, the eccentricities of this job, or the fact that my bruises take a little bit longer each time to heal.
I love this job sometimes, and other times it’s not for me.
” He shook his head. “I haven’t really said that out loud. ”
“Atlas. Just make sure the decision is yours.”
“I love you, Lizzie. And that means while the decision is mine, you’re part of it too.”
“I don’t know if I can have that on me.” I shook my head. “Which makes me sound horrible and selfish.”
“There’s nothing selfish about you.”
“We both know that’s not true. But tonight isn’t the night for all of those decisions. Let’s get to the bar and grill and meet up with our friends. This is your last night before you have to get ready and leave.”
“I’ll be back for Denver games often. You know how many times we play them a year.”
“I do. And I’ll figure out how to make traveling work.”
It was the main issue, honestly. Because I couldn’t drop everything and move to Portland when my job was here, and my life was here.
And we didn’t know whether Atlas would stay in Portland.
If he wanted to live there for the rest of his life, then I would have to figure out what I wanted, but I wanted him.
And that was the selfish part.
School began soon, and I was already in teacher training and meetings. I would have to go back and focus solely on those children, and that meant I wouldn’t have time to travel to Portland or Denver to see him play.
Not that I had ever done so as his girlfriend.
Oh, I had watched him play countless times when he had been younger, and had even snuck into a few games as an adult, when he hadn’t known I was there.
Because Atlas was so graceful on the ice and in the net.
He was brilliant, and while he was cocky enough to understand that, I wasn’t quite sure he knew the full depth of that brilliance.
“Okay, I promise I won’t take you against this wall, since we have somewhere to be,” he grumbled.
I grinned and reached around to pat his butt. “Don’t worry. You’ll get back to your squats so you can get your ass back. I understand.”
“Excuse me. I thought you loved my ass.”
“Well, I guess first you have to do a few more squats, so we truly understand.”
He reached around and pinched me again, and I ducked under his arm to head to the front door. “We are already late, and Will is working tonight.”
“You’re going to take him home tonight, right? Because the damn kid won’t let me buy him a car.”
“He’s saving up for one.”
“Parents buy their kids cars. And yeah, he’s not my kid, but he needs reliable transportation, especially in the winter.”
“He can borrow mine.”
“Lizzie.”
“Atlas,” I said in the same tone. “He doesn’t want to take advantage of you, and as someone who has been in similar shoes when it comes to you, I understand that.”
“I have no idea what you mean.”
“And that’s okay. And yes, I’m taking him home, because I know you want a couple of hours just with Rune and Felicity. Sibling time is important.”
He cringed as we got into my SUV. Rune would be taking him home, so we wouldn’t have to take two cars and take up two parking spaces in the small lot.
“I feel like I’ve been neglecting them.”
“They understand that you don’t have a lot of time here. But that’s the selfish part of me, which has liked spending so much time with you. But I’m glad that you’re taking moments with them. That way, they don’t hate me for monopolizing all of your time.”
“How’s training going?” Atlas asked as he reached over the console to tangle his fingers with mine.
“Ridiculous. We have a new teacher who worked in another state school system for fifteen years, and wants to change everything here. And while I agree that many things need to be changed in our school system, she’s going about it the wrong way.
And frankly, her changes are just ridiculous.
Very insensitive, and not at all towards progress.
” I shook my head. “It’s hard enough to get important things that don’t have to do with testing into our curriculum, and she just does not care. ”
“Why did the school hire her then?” I snorted.
“Because getting someone to agree to move to a small town and not make too much money is hard. She’s only here because of family, I think. Or maybe no one else would take her,” I grumbled.
Atlas sparked a laugh. “I love when you’re sassy.”
“Sexist much?” I teased.
“I would never call another woman sassy. Just you. Because I know you. Promise.”
“Okay. I believe you.” And I did. He didn’t mean anything by it. “But other than that, having to deal with upcoming training with certain tests is going to break me eventually, but I’m excited to get my new class. It’s going to be fun.”
“You’re a damn good teacher.”
“You haven’t seen me teach,” I teased.
“I know Will. And how you treat him. And the fact that he adores you and respects you. So I do know, and I think you’re doing a damn good job.”
Pride burst inside me, and I blushed. “You’re good for my ego.”
“You’re always damn good for mine.”
“I do believe nobody had to help you with your ego, Mr. Carter.”
“I would ask you to call me Mr. Carter again, but then I think of my dad. Ew.”
I laughed, loving the way that this felt so carefree, even though the burden of reality was quickly approaching. Soon, we would have to face our decisions and know that our lives weren’t as entwined as we wanted.
Unlike back in college, when we had broken up, there wasn’t an endless sea of choices to be made.
There weren’t two paths diverging in brokenness.
Instead, there were paths that had been dug in over time with repetition and purpose.
There were reasons for our choices. And now, I would have to figure out exactly how I was going to make it throughout the school year, knowing that he was in Portland and all over the country in Canada, away from me.
Out on the road with the constant puck bunnies—a derogatory name that I hated, however, there wasn’t any denying his female fans.