Chapter 16
TEAGAN
“And here is to the happy couple. May you live your lives to the fullest and stop making out in public and scaring the children,” Rune said as he lifted his beer, and I barely resisted the urge to roll my eyes.
Elizabeth blushed prettily as Atlas moved up, ready to pummel his brother.
Felicity, ever the younger sister, stuck herself between the two, and I pressed my lips together, trying not to laugh.
It might not be an engagement party, but since the two had decided to live together, the families wanted a party. Any excuse at this point, since we were rarely together. Everyone else clinked glasses, and I did the same before taking a sip of my brother’s beer.
I smacked my lips together and looked down at the amber ale in my hand. “I swear he’s getting better every year.”
Finnian leaned against me and laughed. “Why do you sound upset that Callum is getting better at brewing beer? Isn’t that the whole point of his business? A business you helped create?”
I looked over at my younger brother, who had finally been able to get a night out thanks to his ex’s parents.
Promise was at the other end of the bar, laughing about something with Kiera and Kellan.
It was honestly odd to see both Promise and Finnian out in public at the same time.
Not that they hated each other, far from it.
In fact, they were probably the most well-centered and communicative co-parents I’d ever seen.
But with both of their full-time jobs, being business owners, and parents of twins, I wasn’t sure when they slept, let alone had time to come out.
But here they were, in Rune’s bar, enjoying themselves because we were here to celebrate Atlas’s retirement.
He still had a few more games to go, and of course, those games meant the Stanley Playoffs, but he had a few hours tonight where he could pretend that everything was normal and show the love of his life that he was there for her.
I still wasn’t quite sure how everything had worked out, but they were making it happen. And I was so proud of him.
I wasn’t lonely at all.
Finnian gave me a look, as if he could read my thoughts, before he was pulled away to speak with Bodhi.
I reached out across him and squeezed Bodhi’s hand, just to say hello, and the big man, who rarely smiled, crooked his lips into a tiny one before going back to his conversation with our brother.
The Ashfords and the Carters had been entwined since birth. The Carters’ mother had been friends with our mother before she had been murdered, and afterward, I knew my mom had done her best to try to be there for the Ashford kids.
But the son of a bitch who had donated his sperm and called himself our father had pushed everybody away, abusing the town in a shadowed difference to the way that he harmed his own children.
Now the old man was dead, and the Ashfords were thriving and finding their forevers.
Callum had started it all by falling for Felicity, and I couldn’t help but smile at the two as they danced together closely, as if nobody was watching.
My big brother had fallen for the girl that I used to babysit, and the unlikely pair were probably going to get married any day and pop out babies.
Felicity was a breeder, and she knew it.
But she wanted time to grow into it, and Callum would do anything for her.
I was already an aunt, something I loved with all of my heart, and I couldn’t wait to do so again.
As I sat in my chair, beer in hand, I studied the rest of the area. I knew every single person in this bar. They were either from Ashford Creek itself or related to it in some way. Friends of Atlas and Elizabeth, or people who came in and out of town when they could.
I had been here all my life except for when I had gone to college in Denver, and I knew I would probably be here for the rest of my life. I couldn’t see myself leaving.
I ran my hand over my thigh, ignoring the ache.
There was no reason for me to go. Nobody was waiting for me on the other side.
Atlas and Elizabeth were now dancing on the floor, their gazes only for each other.
Occasionally, they would glance over to the group of teens that were drinking soda and bubble water, their eyes on Will to make sure he was doing well, and I couldn’t help but smile.
The kid didn’t know it yet, but he was my nephew now.
I knew that both Elizabeth and Atlas were going to work on adoption, even if he was eighteen now.
Because everybody needed family, even the ones you made, and that kid was going to be a Carter.
Meaning he was stuck with the Ashfords as well.
Atlas might not be my blood brother, but we had grown up together, and since Felicity was part of my family now, it was a convoluted way of making it work.
Either way, the kid would have to deal with me annoying him.
I sighed, looked over at Promise and Kellan, who were laughing with Bronwyn and Sterling.
I was surprised Sterling had been able to get away from the restaurant today to help, but as I had said, Atlas was family.
Tess was missing from the party, only because I knew she was finally getting a night to sleep.
I had thought it was odd that the relative stranger to town had agreed to be the nanny to not one family but two families in this town, three kids each, but she excelled at it and had formed a bond with them.
At one point, I had thought maybe I should quit my job and step in, helping raise the six kids who needed guidance.
I knew both Thatcher and Kellan worked their asses off to be steady fathers, as well as in two highly demanding jobs, but they had needed help beyond their extended families, and Tess had shown up at the perfect time.
And I had stepped back from Ashford Brews because I knew I wasn’t up for exactly where Callum wanted it to go.
I wasn’t an accountant; I was a manager.
I had done my best to help set up Bodhi’s, Callum’s, Sterling’s, and now Finnian’s businesses.
But I wasn’t a business manager like that.
I barely had my degree in business, as I’d nearly had to drop out a few times because there hadn’t been enough money, nor time.
Somebody had needed to come back to town and help raise the younger twins.
Callum had been off at college on a full-ride scholarship and later in the NFL.
Malcolm had skipped town as soon as he could, joining the band that Kiera had eventually taken his place in.
And Bodhi, well, Bodhi had hidden away for his own reasons.
And somebody had needed to step in to be the mom.
Even though I was never going to be a mom of my own.
Even my sister had needed to escape. While I had been able to take the brutality of our father by closing myself in, Briar had always been a little softer. So she’d run off just like Malcolm had, and somebody had needed to stay behind.
And that’s what I did best.
I stayed behind.
I looked over at the door as Thatcher walked through it, phone at hand, and I tensed, hoping there wasn’t an emergency.
As the fire captain, he was rarely around these days, constantly dealing with crisis after calamity.
We had the best fire station in many of the small towns around us, and his skills were in high demand.
Another reason why they had hired Tess.
And another reason why I had almost given up everything to help raise children that would never be mine.
But nobody had asked me. Nobody had thought of me.
I drained the last of my beer, annoyed at the self-pity. That was unlike me. I must be starting my cycle soon or something, because I usually didn’t get so gloomy these days.
It could be the fact that everybody was finding their other halves, and here I was, stuck in my same small town, in the same dead-end job that didn’t appreciate me, wondering why I was even here.
“What’s wrong?”
I looked up at Keely, a relatively new Ashford Creek resident and Felicity’s best friend, and smiled softly.
“Nothing’s wrong. I think I’m just tired. I might head out.”
“Are you sure? I can go with you if you want.”
That was Keely. Soft and nice. And everything that I didn’t feel like being in that moment.
“I’m okay. But thank you. I think I just didn’t sleep well.”
Keely studied my face, as if she didn’t believe me. And frankly, I wasn’t sure how I did either, but it wasn’t like I was going to say anything. Instead, I reached out and squeezed her hand, then pushed my way through the throngs of others.
With a sigh, I nodded my goodbyes to a few people, but didn’t bother saying anything to the others. If they noticed me leaving, they didn’t mention it, but that was fine with me. I needed a moment to get through my gloom and just focus on breathing and figuring out what I wanted to do next.
Maybe I could leave. Find a job in the city, work for someone else, maybe find a man with light eyes who would smile at me, and tell me he loved me.
I shook myself out of my reverie, annoyed with myself.
I didn’t want a man with those eyes. It wouldn’t be worth it.
I had driven to town because I’d wanted to have a couple of drinks, and though I’d only had one beer, I still felt like I needed…
And I didn’t have a car, I had to walk home.
It was still fully light out, as the sun wouldn’t set until later, so I pulled out my phone and checked social media.
I scrolled through countless photos of people finding their perfect milestones.
New babies. New fiancées. A vacation. A promotion. A cup of coffee. A beautiful sunset.
Snapshots of perfect lives. I knew they were probably jagged around the edges because that was reality. There was no such thing as perfect.
I just needed to find patience after all.
I didn’t need perfection.
Without thinking, I almost hit the search function, and nearly—oh so nearly—typed in a profile that I refused to look at.
Hands shaking, I had to wonder exactly why I wanted to do that. I hadn’t even thought about him in years.
That was a lie. I thought about him this morning. And ten minutes ago. And thirty seconds ago.
I shook off my reverie and closed out my social media tabs before deciding to read the news. That would be better.
I scrolled through local news, and then national news, before going to BBC and checking out international news.
I could tell myself it was because I wanted to be well-informed, but I knew exactly why I went to the international news.
Because he didn’t live here anymore.
Cursing myself, I nearly closed out of it when a small article to the side caught my attention, and the blood drained from my face.
I stood there as tourists walked past me, heading towards the small shops on Main Street, and my thumb hovered over the article.
Prominent Society Couple Dead in Small Commuter Plane Crash.
I looked at the name, bile coating my tongue, and clicked the article.
Dread coated my skin because the thumbnail had been too small for me to see exactly who it was, but I knew that last name.
And so did a majority of England.
I swallowed hard and immediately regretted the relief that poured over me when I realized that yes, it was his last name.
But it wasn’t him.
His parents were dead. A small plane crash that was going from the city to their private residence in the country.
My lower lip shook as I continued to read, and I realized that I had stopped, my thumb hovering over one name.
Survived by their son, Rush.
And their granddaughter.
A single tear slid down my cheek, and I closed the app before immediately opening my contacts, my thumb glancing over his name.
I let out a shaky breath, opening my text app without thinking, knowing it was a mistake.
It had been years. He probably didn’t even remember me.
But I typed anyway.
Me
I’m so sorry, Rush. If there’s anything I can do, let me know.
I stood there as people walked past me, their thoughts on their own lives, and did my best to be patient, and that’s something I never was.
But those three dots never popped up, and my text was left unread.
So I slid my phone into my back pocket and put my past right where it belonged, behind me.
Rush probably didn’t even recognize my number.
After all, it had been eleven years.
The exact same age as his daughter.
I was but a memory. A mistake.
And I needed to get myself together. Life continued to move around me, my family and friends falling for their perfect partner. Maybe it was time for me to take a stand. To actually give my heart to someone.
But it was bruised, pieced together with tape and lies.
Because I had given my heart to someone before. And he had shattered it into a million pieces.
And I wasn’t sure there was enough patience in the world for me to ever want to do that again.
Don’t miss the next Ashford Creek romance with Teagan & Rush in Patience.
And if you’d like to read a bonus scene, you can find it HERE.